To ask what was that worst wedding gift you received? (lighthearted)

[Miracularity]

Yes, yes, yes, we must be grateful for all gifts, etc., BUT - what was the worst gift?

I don't know why I suddenly thought of this because I got married ten years ago! But the worst gift we received on the day was a box of chocolates. That were an old brand, five years out of date and hadn't even been manufactured for three years.

(The gift-giver was not old, ill, infirm, poor or mentally unwell. They were well known for being mean - in fact in our family they were known as Meano Mary. And she certainly lived up to her name that day.)

We are hoping to gey married later this year or next year. I was thinking of eloping but this thread is making me want to have a 'proper' wedding so I can see what weird gifts we get

Nothing from MIL, FIL, BIL, Best man or Maid of Honour.

And we paid for all of them to stay overnight both the night before and the night of the wedding in a beautiful English Castle at great expense

Wasn't so much the 'nothing' that hurt as the complete lack of reference to the 'nothing' from any of them :(

A limited edition watercolour of a salmon swimming upstream. It's about 1x1.5m. Froma rather eccentric uncle of DH's who also gave a rather racey impromptu speech at our wedding.

He is a legend.

My inlaws.
Other than that I am grateful for everything else we received!

Oh god! Am totally going to do "fake present of shit" at the next wedding I attend! Thankfully they are lovely people so hopefully the aftermath with be hilarious.

I am sure someone linked a Pam St clemet wall clock on MN once....might go with that.

We got an air freshener from DH's cousin. To be fair it wasn't just a standard aerosol can, it was like a woman figure shape.
DH showed it to his parents and now it's in use in their house .
Not sure if cousin has noticed it yet.

ThinkIveBeenHacked

I looked at that bloody Pam St Clement clock on amazon after someone linked it and the damn thing has haunted me for months. Amazon email me to ask if I'm still interested in it, it's in my "suggested items" whenever I visit the site and it periodically pops up in banner ads.

MIL got me hideous floral silk pyjamas in 3 sizes too big. I'm a dress size smaller than she is, she just wanted me to know she thinks I'm fat. Cow.

The best present we got was PIL refusing to come to the ceremony and informing us they were only coming to the reception so not to upset distant elderly relatives and they wouldn't be sitting at the top table with us. Good, because we hadn't put them with us anyway.

DH is from Denmark and everything scandinavian is superior. One gift was a Kosta Boda plate that looks like something my 3 year old would make. It is supposed to be a cake platter or something. I went to swap it for something else and its a limited edition something or other that couldn't be swapped for some weird reason. When I saw the cost I nearly fainted.

Given the high value I donated it to the local school that was badly damaged from hurricane Sandy for auction with a reserve of $3k. It fetched $5k. Rather proud of getting something so hideous out of my house, raising much needed money for the local school and finding someone who loved the plate.

A milk jug made of cheap white bakeware with a duck's head to pour the milk through- 'unfortunately' it was dropped a few months later and the duck's head fell off!

My husband has six siblings, only two gave us wedding presents. One was a casserole dish, and the other was a cheque, so no complaints there. Not even one of his four brothers got us anything.

All of my aunts and uncles got us presents, despite us not having a big wedding (so none of them invited) - only one of DH's aunts/uncles (and there are a lot of them, his family are all big numbers) gave us a present - and it was ONE BEDSIDE LAMP...... not a pair just the one!

Now I know she didn't have to give us anything - after all none of his mother's other nine siblings, nor his father's eight siblings did - but if you are going to go to the bother wouldn't you give a pair of bedside lamps!

I have 3.
A big brass ornament of 2 dolphins swimming.
A big clock made out of shiny plastic, with dead butterflies on the hands.
A pack of nappies. We didn't have a baby, I wasn't pregnant,or planning on being. To make them even more useless, they were an unnamed brand (and in those days most disposable nappies other than pampers weren't very good).
To be fair, we didn't have a list. Even so, I did think WTF.Why not just buy something like towels or mugs? You can't go wrong with stuff like that.

We got a Mrs and Mrs card too. DH is definitely a Mr not a Mrs.
We also got a hamper from DHs work filled with nutty chocolates and special bottles of creme liqueur. I can't drink cream liqueur or eat nuts as both constrict my throat.

From our families we got nada, despite both families being completely loaded. we are not loaded, paid for the wedding ourselves and got into debt doing so as both of our families wanted it to be naaice and pressured us into paying for pointless stuff.

We did however get loads of lovely vouchers from friends so bought ourselves a new massive wonderful bed.

Just going back to the person who didn't get the tea towels she needed - my mum told me once that she got some tea towels from an elderly friend of my grandparents. Mum knew the lady was living on the poverty line and said she cried over those tea towels because she knew the sacrifice that had gone into scraping together the money to buy them.

A pair of ceramic candle holders in the shape of a sort of King and Queen. They have eyes painted on and the guest informed me that I could arrange them to either look at each other adoringly or to turn away from each other when DH and I had a row!

A bbq that would struggle to hold a single sausage and which looked about to fall over if anyone sneezed (from a seriously rich ex work colleague).

A framed black and white photo of a graveyard. Any old graveyard. Not even a graveyard with special significance

We got a set of 6 place mats with a portraits of a different types of ducks on each on. My mother's friend got them for us and probably some people would like them, we didn't though. I found them a while later in a local shop and there were a few other designs that we did like but by then DH opened the packet which meant we couldn't exchange them.
I actually exchanged loads of my wedding presents. There was a department store in my town which exchanged anything they stocked, even if it hadn't been bought there so I exchanged all the vases and ornaments and candlesticks we got for more useful things like pots and pans and towels.

Pil gave us £2k toward our honeymoon.

We were surprised and grateful, until step mil let slip that actually the £2k was from shares which fil and dh's mum acquired from their mortgage company. Only fil could get them as he was the main holder, but dh's mum refused to sign them over unless the money went to dh. Fil agreed, but then kept the money for ten years and gave it to dh and I for our honeymoon. He sat at the wedding boasting to his sisters about how generous he had been.

I wanted to give it back, but dh said no. I was especially angry as fil walked out and left dh to be a child carer for his mum at nine, and he looked after her until he was sixteen (she had serious health problems and had him arrested twice during this time as she didn't recognise him and thought he was an intruder). Step mil doesn't know this as he played Disney dad with dh and dh doesn't think there is anything anything to be gained by telling her.

He is by far a better man than his father.

Not a wedding ine but exMIL gave me a pair of 30 yr old bed sheets that were given to her as a weddibf present. I know its a lovely gesture but they were horrible, like scratchy brown floral.

I should name change for this but then I would be accused of being hairy handed. Dh best mans wife picked out their present to us. She did not know me very well. I opened it to find a beautiful wooden box with carved roses on it. I opened it to find cock rings,dildos,other vibrating things I have no idea what a person would do with. I don't know who was more shocked,me or my poor parents who were beside me.

Its still in the attic.

A sixteen piece dinner service in avocado green from pound stretcher with all the mugs missing... So actually a twelve piece set.

Mine was nylon sheets. Two pairs.

They were all the rage in the 70 s and to my shame I used them.

A huge crate of really nasty white wine from an Aunt's boyfriend and a battery powered back sctratcher from another guest

An engraved fluorescent pink number plate from benidorm.

One end of the chain to hang it with was held on with electricians tape.

Spelt my husbands name wrong.

It's upstairs somewhere. haven't the heart to throw it out. Yet.