To ask what was that worst wedding gift you received? (lighthearted)

[Miracularity]

Yes, yes, yes, we must be grateful for all gifts, etc., BUT - what was the worst gift?

I don't know why I suddenly thought of this because I got married ten years ago! But the worst gift we received on the day was a box of chocolates. That were an old brand, five years out of date and hadn't even been manufactured for three years.

(The gift-giver was not old, ill, infirm, poor or mentally unwell. They were well known for being mean - in fact in our family they were known as Meano Mary. And she certainly lived up to her name that day.)

A set of very nice plain LSA tumblers which WE chose and put on a gift list. They have a very heavy base and they are tall and thin so the f**kers topple over and shatter every time they go in the dishwasher if you are not insanely anal about loading the dishwasher [which pisses my MIL right off as she takes it personally]

We got 12 - we're down to 3 following a v bad week and then I can go to Ikea for replacements. Happy days !!!

A photo frame that was about 1.5' high and 1' wide, made of heavy clear glass, was molded into various fruit shapes on the front. I can't even begin to describe how bizarre and ugly it was.

The giver insisted we open it in front of them so they could see our expressions. Fortunately stunned speechlessness was deemed satisfactory. then we ceremoniously dropped it at the earliest opportunity

OMG Libra you win hands down!

First marriage - BIL gave us a humongous oil painting of a landscape. One of those you buy off the market painted en masse in China.

He came round to the house and watched us open it. I was - he honestly thought I was happy as he gleefully said ' well with you having studied art at Uni you would appreciate it, I have bought one for my house too!'

When that husband left I was more than happy to send it to the tip- it had been in the hall and my artist family always looked at it with a look of

From the best man and his wife, my best friend - nothing.

From the best man's mum, a wooden spoon.

What a family!

My parents had to get married in the 1960s IYKWIM

By paternal grandfather gave them a set of step ladders ( now nearly 50 yrs old and still working)

My maternal grandfather gave them 5 years....

Result was .... I was the reason for the shotgun wedding and they are still together after nearly 50 years!!!!

Oh, just remembered another one, a previously opened DVD of a rugby game between Ulster and Wales. Neither DH or me have any interest in rugby.

Actually I've remembered the table top we were given as well.

It would have been a bit more useful had it had legs to go with it, but as it stood (or didn't) we were given what was essentially a long plank of wood.
Apparently the guests wanted to give money to charity (which we'd asked people to do) but wanted to give us 'something for the house' as well - but because they'd given money to the charity they couldn't afford the table legs.

Still, it's the thought that counts...

Libra!! Your husband's ex didn't actually return it, did she?

You definitely win. All our gifts were either off the list, so things we wanted, or lovely thoughtful off list stuff. Nothing remotely interesting!

Our worst wedding present was a pair of pink egg cups. Egg cups? Yes, we like soft boiled eggs.

These were the torsos of a man and a woman from the neck to the upper thighs. We decided that they were not good enough for a charity shop so are now somewhere in landfill. Might be worth something to the finder in 100 years' time....

We got 2p from one guest which confused me completely, she then offered to sell me another present for 2p. I was still confused but presumed it was a Dutch thing (she is Dutch) until we opened it and discovered she had sold me a lovely set of knives at that bargain price which we still use! (Giving knives is considered bad luck as it may cut the relationship).

SIL gave us a bible. We are atheists.

A used cheeseboard and knife set.

Great thread!

What were the MIL and the EXW thinking re the silk underwear, totally bizarre!

My worst was a huge inlaid wooden cribbage board with a metal dish in the centre for an ashtray, just what every non smoking 21 year old needs

A hot pink silk cushion with gold trimming, embroidered with "my bride" in big gold letters. From a friend, not my husband.

We received, as a wedding gift, a hot chocolate set, hot chocolate very out of date and marshmallows like tiny rocks, a desk calendar for the year we were halfway through, and a set of orange lipglosses. They were all wrapped up in the same paper, but had no label or card so we never discovered the identity of the random crap gift giver!

Chief bridesmaid, best man (in a relationship together) who had their outfits bought for them down to shoes, daughters outfit (flower girl) all of which they kept, silver engraved thankyou gifts for them, refused to attend local stag/hen dos let alone organise them, got us a charity shop picture frame with the £5 sticker still attached.

I think this could be the basis for a new game. At every wedding, in addition to your actual gift, you should secretly wrap the weirdest gift you can find and not leave any clues as to where it came from. Give the couple something to talk about anyway

My mother - my own mother! - got me a candle for an engagement present, in the form of two people in the nuddy entwined in each other doing sexy time.

From my mother.

And it's huge, like 2 foot high.

My friend got married in a very picturesque church and received no fewer than 7 different types of artwork representing it, from a pencil drawing to some sort of burnt thing (is that poker work?) to a terrible soft focus photo to a scale model birdhouse thingy.

A hideous, rather large, pop-art style painting of husband and I on our wedding day - taken from a rather unflattering photo of the two of us!!

The sentiment behind it was nice, but not enough to make me want to put it up anywhere!!

I'm getting married next year and this thread is making me nervous!

My gran's best friend never married and lives with her twin sister so she treats us like her family, but she is famous for her gift-giving skills. Sometimes she gets it really right, like last Christmas she gave me a lovely sewing kit and some handmade soap. I've also had a nice watch and, one year, some earrings. Other years, however, we've received (collectively) a radio alarm, a rolling pin, a hideous cushion, size 12 pyjamas (for my size 20 granny), a set of egg cups and a knitted waistcoat. We call it the "gift lottery" because you never know which way it will go.

No cards or gifts from ils or bms or best man (and none of them had to contribute anything ie big hen/stags etc)

We got loads of 'memory boxes' tho- no idea what to do with them all lol

I should mention, the egg cups were given to my brother when he was about 14. Just what a teenage boy wants

Can't contribute as I'm not married. I can pitch in the most ungrateful bride. Ex uni friend invited myself and my parents to her wedding. After wedding she actually complained at how cheap some people were with their monetary gifts and people have given gift cards for stores 'I wouldn't be seen dead in'. The fact she never specified what shops to buy them for was seemingly irrelevant.

Funnyface, I rather like that thing with glasses. Why haven't you followed tradition and passed them on to the next wedding? They will go round and round and down the generations and each couple can tell the story and add their own personal bit and then send them on to the next. In a hundred years' time, they'll be absolutely awesome! I'm tempted toget rid of dh, find someone else and marry them just to get those glasses in their battered box