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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I?

48 replies

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 12:31

I know I am slightly bu but don't think I should suffer cause of this. My managers wife is due to give birth start of April. He has already been told by hospital when they preformed a test that his wife has a 70% chance of going in to labour early but the thing is I want/need some annual leave and he won't let me book any in case he needs the same time. I totally understand that but I have long term health problems and need a rest. Every day I had left of this years entitlement I've used for hospital appointments and day surgery so have no time off since Christmas now. My work has started to get effected and I am making silly mistakes but causing lots of problems cause of these mistakes. I just need a few days off to relax and forget about work for now. He has said I can book the end of April off but that's still nearly 2 months away and I have my main 2 weeks at the start of June. Plus they is no gurantee that the baby won't come late. He is saying it's because we can't leave a new member of staff by his self but at this rate I am going to end up going off sick and if his wife goes into labour then this member of staff will still be on their own. I've asked for the quietest time off. Aibu to talk to Hr about this and tell them I'm struggling and need time off and see what they say. I hate being a bitch about it but my health matters aswell.

What do people recommended to do?

OP posts:

OhBuggerItAgain · 02/03/2015 12:37

Do you need the time off to rest and then not be off sick? can you take it at the end of March instead?

(also - YABVVVU when you dont put a proper title on a thread)

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/03/2015 12:40

If you get your few days off, can you agree to come in if needed, if she has the baby?

If you're making mistakes now because of a health issue, then you need to speak to HR anyway, I would imagine.

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 12:42

Yes I neec time off to rest as I can feel my self getting to the point I will be so tired and then I will just make my self ill. Even if I could take the end of March off (can't as new holiday year starts 1st of April) he won't let me due to the fact this test they had done said the baby had a 70% chance of coming early so the only time is the end of April.

Regarding thread title they is a sentence missing not sure what happened there. Was suppose to say Am I? Am I not? Bu to want annual leave!

OP posts:

MaidOfStars · 02/03/2015 12:43

Anything stopping you taking time off now? How long do you need to prepare for your absence?

How about taking time off but being on stand by, to come in if he needs to go? Not ideal for mind relaxation but better than nothing.

ClashCityRocker · 02/03/2015 12:44

Can you ask for the first week in April off on the understanding that you will come in if required?

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 12:50

Annual leave starts again in April. Cause of my job If I did come in at short notice after telling people I wouldn't be in I woukd have nothing to do as no one would expect me in and my target needs to be adjusted for holiday. So if I had a 0 target for that week and come in and done nothing then a week where I would be off instead of that week would carry a full bearing target. I can't even do his job it's just so the new employee won't be on their own and by then he would be in his role for 6 weeks so would know what to do. The week I want off is the 2nd quietest week in our industry for the year.

OP posts:

airforsharon · 02/03/2015 12:51

So what would happen if you were off sick at the point his wife had the baby? I'm not suggesting you should go off sick, just curious - are you a team of just three? If the other chap you mention is new and was left on his own is there no one else who could provide cover for you/your manager?

I don't know the answer but it does seem unfair that you're effectively left dangling and can't book any time off, because there's no way of knowing when his wife will go into labour. And will he be off after the baby comes? So if you booked a week at the end of April (as he suggests) wouldn't that clash with his paternity leave?

IAmAPaleontologist · 02/03/2015 12:53

IS there no room for give and take? You get your time off when you want it (Now? End of March?) however you agree that if the baby comes you will go back to work and take your remaining days later, carrying them through to the allowance for next year if necessary.

Would you be ahppy wiht that?

IAmAPaleontologist · 02/03/2015 12:54

Sorry, missed the targets thing

SweetsForMySweet · 02/03/2015 12:54

Yanbu however in most companies requested annual leave is only agreed at the discretion of your company and your manager so you may not get the time that you want off. Could they get a temp to cover you or could you take your leave any sooner? The only definitive way to determine in advance, exactly when your manager's wife will have her baby, is if she were to have an elcs and he would know which dates he would be off. You could get a sick cert but it would be very obvious if you have already requested the time off and it has been refused.

OhBuggerItAgain · 02/03/2015 12:56

how annoying for you - is there any way they would let you have some days early out of nexts years allotment?

(that happened to me once on a thread, i reported it for a title change xx)

WastingMyYoungYears · 02/03/2015 12:58

Sweets, it sounds like the OP is nearly at the point where she needs to be signed off sick anyway.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/03/2015 12:59

It seems like health issue to me rather than a holiday leave one.

If you are saying that your health is at risk, and you're making mistakes now, then take sick leave now. Then you'll probably be okay to work when the key period arrives, yes?

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 13:00

No annual leave for 2015/2016 can be taken before 1st of April so no give or take on that. Yes just a team of 3. If he agrees the time off at the end of April there's no guarantee that the baby wouldn't be late. That's why he wants me to take the very last week off so really going in to May then I'll only be back 5 weeks before my main holiday. He knows I could go off work any time sick and then it would be tough. But in all honestly if he was off and I would have to be on deaths door not to come in if the new bloke was on his own and he knows this and he knows the complications of booking leave and then cancelling at last minute that's why he won't agree to me coming in if needed as only gets his bonus if we all hit target for that week. So if his on leave then he would have a zero target so it would be me and new boy doing the work and then the week I would have off instead but get a full target he knows he won't get no bonus for that. He wants the best of both worlds but just not fair on me.

OP posts:

SweetsForMySweet · 02/03/2015 13:05

I would speak to HR and your manager, and see if they would let you use some of next years leave before April. What usually happens if you are off sick other than the targets being adjusted? Who covers, does the new employee need close supervision if he has already been in the job for 6 weeks.

SweetsForMySweet · 02/03/2015 13:11

Sorry OP, hadn't refreshed before I posted. If last minute leave is very awkward, how is he able to do it for himself but not do it for you? It's not your problem if he doesn't get his bonus. I pressume if you were off sick unexpectedly that he would lose the bonus anyway due to being a person down on the team.

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 13:22

I so wish I could take a few days sick would get a sick cert very easily but just can't afford to be off sick. If i go off sick he will def loose his bonus. He can get his leave agreed as he is a manager.

OP posts:

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 13:24

Just had a text him after I suggested I will need to talk to Hr as I am really struggling and see if they can help reduce my hours or something in the mean time and his told me not to contact them and we'll have a chat tomorrow so something isn't adding up here. Is there really a test which would be able what the chances are of someone going in to labour in the next amount of weeks?

OP posts:

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/03/2015 13:29

To be quite honest, if I was in this position, I would be trying to find a way being at work during the time I'm needed, if my boss's wife was about to give birth. They'll be additionally stressed because of the possibility of the baby being early.

So, back to my idea, talking to HR now to arrange sick leave now, as you admit you're not well and it's affecting your work, so you can be around when the baby is/might be due. You get the rest you need, he gets the cover he needs, at the vital time. I do find it slightly odd that you're waiting to use holiday time to recover, when it's obviously very tricky to do so, when you're feeling ill now?

WhatchaMaCalllit · 02/03/2015 13:29

I know of noone who can basically block book a month and a half on the off chance they may be on leave for an indeterminate time during that month and a half needed while their wife is about to have a baby. Basically he is saying (irrespective of your health issues) that no one can take leave until his wife has had their baby as he doesn't know what the staffing levels will be and if he is out and both he and you can't be out at the same time.

YNBU to request your leave for when you need it. The only thing I would say is that it can't inconvenience the company (as is usual when requesting leave) so if it does inconvenience the company to have you on leave at the same time, that is their perogative to deny you leave.

I empathise with you in relation to your health issues but you could approach the situation and ask if it would be possible to work 5 half days per week and be in the office in the morning and be out each afternoon or work 3 days in the office and take 2 days off per week? Try and come up with a possible solution to taking the leave that will allow you time off but be least inconvenient for the company you work for.

ClashCityRocker · 02/03/2015 13:46

Hmm, sounds to me like he knows he's taking the pee, and he also knows that HR are going to know he's taking the pee.

Hope he comes up with a good solution, OP.

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 14:02

If I could honestly take my leave any other time I would and if I could afford to take time off work I would. It's just the first time we can book leave. I had to have an ambulance to work on Wednesday but I knew I couldn't afford to be off so went back on Thursday and Friday I took leave to have day surgery still in pain but am back in today. I hate having a long term illness but I always will try and come in to work no matter what. I'm not just being awarked and booking time off just cause his baby is due it's genuinely the only time I can take it and really need a rest. Just. Couple of days of no my having to set the alarm clock and not having to run around doing every day jobs like at the weekend. Just a couple of days off one maybe duvet day with films and another just a nice day out and relaxing. Ahh I hate being ill!

OP posts:

FenellaFellorick · 02/03/2015 14:07

I think he doesn't want you to contact them because he knows he's in the wrong.

Maybe let him say what he's got to say and if that isn't ok with you, contact HR. don't let him pressure/bully you into not going to them.

ilovesooty · 02/03/2015 14:08

Have you actually declared a disability to your employer?

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 14:11

Yes my employer knows about my disabilities and he knows very well what's being going on lately.

OP posts:

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