Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Am I?

48 replies

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 12:31

I know I am slightly bu but don't think I should suffer cause of this. My managers wife is due to give birth start of April. He has already been told by hospital when they preformed a test that his wife has a 70% chance of going in to labour early but the thing is I want/need some annual leave and he won't let me book any in case he needs the same time. I totally understand that but I have long term health problems and need a rest. Every day I had left of this years entitlement I've used for hospital appointments and day surgery so have no time off since Christmas now. My work has started to get effected and I am making silly mistakes but causing lots of problems cause of these mistakes. I just need a few days off to relax and forget about work for now. He has said I can book the end of April off but that's still nearly 2 months away and I have my main 2 weeks at the start of June. Plus they is no gurantee that the baby won't come late. He is saying it's because we can't leave a new member of staff by his self but at this rate I am going to end up going off sick and if his wife goes into labour then this member of staff will still be on their own. I've asked for the quietest time off. Aibu to talk to Hr about this and tell them I'm struggling and need time off and see what they say. I hate being a bitch about it but my health matters aswell.

What do people recommended to do?

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 02/03/2015 14:22

If you have officially declared a disability in writing perhaps it's time to talk to HR about reasonable adjustments under the Equality Act 2010 to enable you to do your job.

sparechange · 02/03/2015 14:28

OP, to your point about the test, I have never heard of anyone being given a % chance of going into early labour, including the two friends who both had very premature first babies and were worried about their second arriving early.
They were told there s no way of knowing when a labour will start...

Floggingmolly · 02/03/2015 14:31

^^ Yes to what sparechange said. Being given % chances of early labour is just complete bollocks...

WhatchaMaCalllit · 02/03/2015 14:34

If you're that ill to require an ambulance to get you to work, you should be signed off on sick leave.

If you're sick, you're sick and shouldn't be in work. If you're able to work then you should be in work.

Get to a GP as soon as you can and get yourself signed off sick. That way, your manager knows exactly what the situation is (before the new baby arrives), can get cover for you and you can recover and take the time you need to get better.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/03/2015 14:56

It's actually not "complete bollocks". I was given a 50% risk of DC3 being early.

Anyway. You sound a little chippy about your boss which might be informing how you're dealing with this. You start by saying it's all about you wanting to protect your health, and is you who suffers, your work's suffering etc. but you don't take time off to look after your health now? You've said that your mistakes are causing problems, so you really have a duty to act. You know you should be off now, and then you'd be back (according to your assessment that you need a few relaxing days/not setting alarm etc) on form ready for your boss's paternity leave.

So to answer your AIBU, maybe you are a bit, yes.

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 15:20

If I could afford to loose a weeks money I would be off now but at the moment it's either me going in to work and get in with things or don't go in to work and fall behind on basic bills and live on basic food which would be no good to me either.

OP posts:

PurpleCrazyHorse · 02/03/2015 15:50

Personally, I'd wait to see what your boss suggests and then go to HR if that isn't satisfactory. Your boss can't have his cake and eat it (both his bonus and stop you having annual leave until the end of April).

Give him chance to offer you something first. Would a day or two now affect targets, just some time to give you a little rest, and then a little bit longer in mid/late April? Or a day (or two) a week in March, rather than a week in a block? Just wondering if there's a compromise that might work for both of you.

Floggingmolly · 02/03/2015 16:30

Is it actually possible to commute to work by ambulance? NHS ambulance??

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 16:58

When I say had an ambulance to work i don't mean I took an ambulance to work. Our medical department had to call an ambulance out to our place of work as I couldn't move without crying in pain. Sorry for the confusion.

OP posts:

NeedABumChange · 02/03/2015 17:02

I think you are being a bit U. You've already used up your holiday so can't have it until April anyway. How much difference will it make to wait until the end of April? Most people don't get that much say in when they can take holiday.

whattodoowiththeleftoverturkey · 02/03/2015 17:15

Wait and see what he suggest tomorrow.

And don't forget its Easter the first weekend of April so, assuming you don't work bank holidays, you'll have a 4 day break then.

softlysoftly · 02/03/2015 17:24

He isn't blocking you having leave for 2 months you have said you CAN'T take leave until 1st April. He's said you can have leave last week of April.

So in reality he's only saying not to take leave the first 3 weeks of April. You can take it any other time.

It's not his fault you have used up all this year's and tbh if someone was saying to me they had to have leave in the only 3 weeks of the year I needed them there. And they won't take unpaid earlier because they don't want to lose money I'd think they were being a bit of a PITA sorry.

I understand you are ill but you are a tad U.

As for the %test. While I didn't get a % I did have a swab test at 24 weeks with DD3 as they suspected early labour (it was GBS) which could predict labour starting within the next 6 weeks.

SweetsForMySweet · 02/03/2015 17:42

See what he says tomorrow. Is it possible that his wife has an underlying condition during her pregnancy that can commonly cause early labour which is why he is saying there is a higher % of her going into labour earlier? If he can take his leave without much notice but you can't, it may be that he gets the final say in approving your leave so you may not have much of a choice. Easter is falling on the first week of April this year so you will probably have the bank holiday off, is it possible to get a few annual leave days tagged on to that?

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/03/2015 17:56

There you go OP. Totally forgot about Easter. You'll probably have a few days off anyway, first week of April. Sorted!

MrsBennington · 02/03/2015 18:15

Firstwetake. Everyone has a 50 percent risk of going into labour early! You're either early or late 50 percent risk of being late then too.

BrieAndChilli · 02/03/2015 18:17

Manager and holiday issue aside
If you are so ill that you've had an ambulance out is there no way you can do nothing this weekend? If you are ill enougho be affecting your work then you NEED to either take time off now or arrange to rest at the weeked

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 02/03/2015 18:42

I done nothing at all this weekend. My manager won't even give me dates. He is saying that he can't authorise anything to baby is here. He is also saying now he is unsure whether he is taking 2 or 4 weeks. So really baby can be 10 days late that takes it up to the 14th of April then 4 weeks off means I won't get no holiday till mid May. I don't for 1 minute expected him not to take holiday when baby is born cause I would expect my Dh to do the same but to say to someone I can't authorise bringing holiday forward as baby can come any day now but he might not come to 14th if April so I need to block those dates off aswell and oh I might take 2 or 4 weeks so can't really authorise anything now till mid may in case. I think that's being a bit unfair. I've made a doctors appointment now for Wednesday and if doctor wants to sign me tmi will just go with it. With my illness the more tired I get the more I get sick so sometimes it is just a few days off solves everything.

OP posts:

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/03/2015 18:50

MrsB. Of course that is the case. I'm talking about early, as in before at term/37 weeks. I thought that would be clear from the context, but my mistake if not.

MrsBennington · 02/03/2015 23:15

Still 50 percent either you will or you wont.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 04/03/2015 10:54

Any update ilovemydoggy? Hope your visit to your doctor has helped.

Original poster

ilovemydoggy · 09/03/2015 13:30

Sorry for not updating.

Well I become more ill and got taken in to hospital so didn't get the chance to speak to my boss the next day. My consultant said I have been doing to much not just work and he he asked about the work situation. After a good chat with him he decided that I shouldn't be working full time and that he will put a letter into my hr department suggesting I do part time hours. On Friday afternoon hr called (surprised that my consultant had done this so quick). I am now starting part time hours next week and they have agreed to my week off an couldn't understand why my boss was being funny about it. They would've agreed both of us off as my boss was not an ordinary holiday request. All happy smiles round now

OP posts:

asmallandnoisymonkey · 09/03/2015 13:33

Glad you got it sorted, although I'm sorry you're not well!
Your boss sounds like a total tool by the way.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 10/03/2015 08:08

Sorry that it took for you to end up in hospital in order to get this sorted but it's a result nonetheless. Glad you got it sorted.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread