Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up of the bragging

107 replies

Summeblaze · 02/03/2015 00:12

AIBU to just wish that certain people on Facebook would just keep some things to themselves.

Actually I know IABU for thinking it and being in Facebook in the first place. I really want to come off it but I run 3 businesses from it so really can't at the moment.

My DS1 has SN. He has moderate learning difficulties and needs a 1:1 TA most of the day. He only learned to speak and understand better (and still not well at 7) when he was 5 year old and struggles on a daily basis. My DD has been diagnosed with dyslexia and has to have a lot of extra tuition.

What I don't need when I get home is to log on to my Facebook and find a braggy post about how lucky they are to have amazingly clever kids. One has been accepted into the highly gifted programme and the other has only just turned one and is knocking out sentences and picking things out of books etc.

Now it's not that I'm not pleased for her as such. I realise she is desperately proud of her dc but do we all need to know. I don't put on their that my 7 year old managed to spell his name as I may have people on my friends list who can't do that yet.

And it probably wouldn't happen in RL. Most people would have the sense not to brag about clever kids when they know their friends kids are struggling. So why on Facebook.

OP posts:
CrystalCove · 02/03/2015 07:14

But no-one is saying you are a shite Mum! Just like it's only her opinion shes doing a fab job.

The problem is where would you stop as there will always be someone struggling with something in real life, you wouldn't really know what you couldn't "say" for fear of offending someone. I don't think people shouldn't be able to post about their pregnancies because there may be people struggling to conceive for example.

Altinkum · 02/03/2015 07:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whocansay · 02/03/2015 07:25

You seem to be taking this very personally. Just because other people are proud of their children doesn't make you a bad parent. But equally, why shouldn't they be proud?

I'd step away from Facebook if I were you.

MythicalKings · 02/03/2015 07:30

I think YAB a bit U but I can understand how you feel. My DCs are adults now but I love reading about the DCs of friends. FB is a shorthand way of keeping friends up to date with our daily lives and achievements and I really enjoy being a part of that.

ChipDip · 02/03/2015 07:31

Actually Yabvvu. Why are you making this about yourself? I'm certain your friend isn't posting just to piss you off. She is perfectly entitled to be proud of her child. The problem is you, it's unhealthy to make something that's not at all about you, about you.

Original poster
Summeblaze · 02/03/2015 07:33

Yes you are probably right and I was quite prepared to be told IABU. She thinks that her dc having a high level of intelligence is due to her genes and amazing parenting. The reverse therefore must be true in her eyes.

I need to think of it differently, I guess.

I really don't mind achievements on fb and a pp said that people might not say stuff to me in RL as they know my DC's difficulties.

FWIW one of my closest friends DS is very bright. She tells me about his achievements but in a non braggy way while also being over the moon with an achievement about one of my dc however small in comparison.

I never post on Facebook for this reason.

OP posts:
Ohfourfoxache · 02/03/2015 07:37

But there is a difference between being proud and bragging.

genuine achievements/milestones - of course that's understandable - they are proud moments in life and of course they should be celebrated and shared.

But repeated posts to say "mummy-wummy is so pwoud of her little pwince/pwincess" are just boak-tastic.

Original poster
Summeblaze · 02/03/2015 07:37

It is about me as in this is how it makes me feel. Confused

The title was AIBU to be fed up not AIBU to want to say something to her. I wouldn't by the way.

I also said that I'm sure that I was BU but this seemed like a good place to vent.

I use Facebook for the same reason, to keep in touch with people's lives but this really was the most braggiest post ever. She even acknowledged that she was bragging in the status.

OP posts:
JegErEnStorNerd · 02/03/2015 07:39

Hide the posts of the insecure boasters.

I had an epiphany a while ago and deleted a woman who is the most vacuous consumer of shallow material things I've ever encountered. Every post was something she'd bought, was going to buy, wanted to buy, or that her 'hubby' bought her because "he was the best!!!!!!!!!". Deleted her. Phew. The relief. She moved from one mansion to another while she was on my fb list and posted all the houses she was looking at before their move. Most people were living in normal houses so it was a bit 'taunty'. I didn't care but I felt it was proof she needed people to envy her.

Other people with their kids, well, their kids aren't as beautiful as mine, so I let them delude themselves Grin

CocobearSqueeze · 02/03/2015 07:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Peony58890 · 02/03/2015 07:41

I don't post academic stuff personally. However I actually like to hear when my friends children, nephews and nieces do something brilliant or funny. I'm always routing for my these kids anyway and different kids are amazing at different things. So yes your child mightn't be academic BUT there are so many other things they can be good at or try hard at. Many of these other things are far more important then academic ability infact. Good interpersonal skills, kindness, helpfulness, other hobbies.

I think these posts relate some times to parental insecurity for both the poster and yourself. But your child is brilliant and has as many great things about them

JegErEnStorNerd · 02/03/2015 07:42

Summerblaze, I get it. I deleted that woman because of how her posts made me FEEL. Part of that feeling was irritation, part of it was exasperation at her lack of sensitivity. All sorts of things but you are right, you have a right to have a feeling. You see something right in front of you, you do have a perfect right to have your own reaction to that.

JegErEnStorNerd · 02/03/2015 07:43

cocobear, that's different . I've a friend like that too. Her son has had about 6 operations in 5 years.

Fuckup · 02/03/2015 07:46

I think yabu really. There's no need to compare your kids to theirs. Sometimes its easier to put a post out that tells everyone some news than tell people individually, if you don't want to know hide or block them. (just to disclaim I don't do braggy posts because I don't have anything worth bragging about but I like hearing that my friends are happy about stuff)

ssd · 02/03/2015 07:48

I think the more you post about how great your life is on facebook, the bigger a car crash it is.

I think you should block people who annoy you op and just use fb for work purposes.

OhFlippityBolax · 02/03/2015 07:49

Sorry but YABU and very over sensitive

ChipDip · 02/03/2015 07:49

Then hide her posts if they are making you feel bad, even though yabu.

ImADonkeyOnTheEdge · 02/03/2015 07:49

YANBU. The baggers get on my tits.

And yes it is bragging. Over the top thrice daily shit followed by # amazing family # gorgeous hubby #beautiful bubs and other nauseating never ending meaningless hashtags.

Nobody can deny anyone the occasional, but jeez some people.

Then the 'feeling drained / pissed off / blah. What's up hun brigade. Just fuck off and get a life man.

But my latest pet hate is the fuckers that share any and every rumour, urban myth and trending bullshit going. Potentially dangerous. Stupid fuckers.

Oh and I hate my phone today too cos it's buggered up my message Grin ?

But my latest pet hate is the fuckers who endlessly share any

SoupDragon · 02/03/2015 07:53

I always suspect that the people who have a problem with this kind of thing often have far too many "friends" on FB.

Noodledoodledoo · 02/03/2015 08:28

The best option is to un follow her feed as recommended. I love the fact this is now an option. A few years back when you couldn't I deleted someone who did a daily update on her pregnancy including bump pictures. I just wasn't interested and as I don't have loads of friends it dominated my feed.

I have just done the same to a friend newly obsessed with Forever Living.

I don't expect people to monitor what they put on but I can choose not to see it.

Babiecakes11 · 02/03/2015 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

editthis · 02/03/2015 08:44

She is perfectly entitled to be proud of her child Yes, of course, but it doesn't stop her being boring and ghastly for banging on about it.

(The only exception to this is if a child has been poorly and people are genuinely updating as to their good progress. No one could resent that. Other than that, I say enjoy your pride in private.)

YANBU OP.

Obviously my child is extraordinarily beautiful and almost certainly a genius. with these genes? Sorry mini-edits, it's unlikely

Enough27 · 02/03/2015 08:49

I think she sounds awful and beyond bragging. I'm not on Facebook, but would delete her if I could. Taking credit for her own parenting and genes is just disgusting in my view. It's very different from 'my DD did well in her GCSEs', which is probably fine. Listing all their talents is plain odd. Just pure boasting and weird I think.

YANBU

KERALA1 · 02/03/2015 09:08

Cringe. You must have the wrong friends. Literally no one I know posts anything about their child's achievements bar one whose children have sn. The only thing posted about dc is when they say or do something funny - I love those!

JackShit · 02/03/2015 09:30

YANBU

Posting that your child has been put on the G&T list is beyond crass.

Children deserve some degree of privacy with regard to their academic avhievements.

Swipe left for the next trending thread