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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Charging "digs" for 19 year old.

125 replies

BlackLabsAreBest · 01/03/2015 22:16

Posting here for traffic and advice on what is fair to charge a 19 year old living at home.

Wages are £700 a month but they have car insurance of £140, gym membership £10 and phone contract £15 per month. They help with washing/cooking/cleaning/dog walking daily and do weekly shop on their own which we pay for.

What would you charge? I have no idea what to charge (if anything).

OP posts:
firesidechat · 01/03/2015 22:27

Somewhere between £100 and £200 a month, although I think you have done something right already if they do so much around the house. Is it part time work and could they get a full time job and earn more?

Being a soft touch I would probably charge £100 and feel guilty about it.

JeanetteDanielsBenziger · 01/03/2015 22:34

I would usually say a third of take home pay but that is quite a low wage and they do help at home so I'd say £175.

Original poster
BlackLabsAreBest · 01/03/2015 22:34

It's 28 hours a week so not full time at the moment. It will be 35 hours in the summer though and they are going to college in September so will drop back down to 28 hours. They do their fair share at home and I never need to nag or remind them to do things. I was thinking £150 but feel very guilty.

OP posts:
missymayhemsmum · 01/03/2015 22:34

Their share of the weekly food shop and a contribution towards bills would be fair, but if you can afford to charge less and that enables them to save for future college/ moving out that would be kind.

ClumsyNinja · 01/03/2015 22:36

Charge a reasonable rent but if you feel uncomfortable, put it in a savings account. You can decide what to do with the money later.

GokTwo · 01/03/2015 22:37

Friends of mine asked their working Dds for £10 per £50 earned which I thought sounded fair. That would be £140. How does that sound?

LaLyra · 01/03/2015 22:39

If you feel guilty (which you shouldn't) and you don't need a contribution from them then you could charge less on the basis that they save or charge more, but save a certain amount to give them back for a deposit/car repairs/unexpected bill?

PurpleSwift · 01/03/2015 22:39

Take £150. If you feel guilty save £50 pm for them and don't tell them.

GokTwo · 01/03/2015 22:40

If it helps op I paid my parents £150 a month board a long time ago andI was very proud to do so. It's a lesson in paying your way. I wouldn't put it all in a secret savings acct for them but might do that with half.

JaceLancs · 01/03/2015 22:46

My 2 (21 and 23) pay £150 pcm each and a share of the council tax over and above the 75% I would pay if I lived alone
Both take home less than £1000 and have other expenses car, phone etc
I provide basic food/drinks but not luxuries, they provide their own lunches for work, snacks etc
We all have allocated household chores
Works for us

ChampagneShowers · 01/03/2015 22:55

I think it depends on how much you need it, how nice their room is, and their attitude.

IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat · 01/03/2015 23:07

My parents charged me £200 once I was working but I had full time hours plus OT so earned more as well. I did a lot around the house too as my mum was pretty unwell at the time. Don't feel guilty - I think it taught me to budget & paying a mortgage & household bills didn't come as such a shock!

DixieNormas · 01/03/2015 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsfuzzy · 01/03/2015 23:17

our dd is on jsa and we charge £50 a fortnight, but then we have to as we have five kids at home and dh is on sick present, the other kids are in school and college. she is o.k with that, but we would not do rent free even if we could afford it as it wouldn't do her any favours in the real world when she has bills etc to pay, but i understand many people would disagree with our set up, but it works for us.

PeachyParisian · 01/03/2015 23:17

Do you need them to contribute? Charging a teen just doesn't sit right with me.

PicaK · 01/03/2015 23:22
  1. Keep 100 for yourself and save the rest for them.
Floralnomad · 01/03/2015 23:22

Our DS is 22 , we don't charge him anything because we don't need to . He is perfectly capable of budgeting .

Perfectlypurple · 01/03/2015 23:23

I would charge probably £200 a month. Chances are I would put the money away for their future without telling them and if they work hard and save well for major things like a car or house deposit I would then surprise them with a lump sum that I have added to. That's the plan for my dsd. I don't think letting them live rent free does them any favours in the long run.

seimum · 01/03/2015 23:26

My DDs (21 & 24) are charged £100 each. It's a token amount (they would be paying more than that each week if they were renting), but it covers their share of family meals, and it is the principle that they contribute.
They also do some of the cooking/tidying up.
It leaves them with plenty of money to save, so they can move out (one day!)

catsandstuff · 01/03/2015 23:33

mrsfuzzy, is that not 50% of her JSA? Hmm

missingmumxox · 01/03/2015 23:37

I paid a third of my wages, what I paid out was not considered, it is a case learning to budget whilst in a safe place where you will never go hungry.
I left home after 6 months and whilst I made mistakes I didn't make as many as some of my friends.
I intend to do the same with my children.
My parents never charged me when I was in full time education, only after I left it, even though I actually earned more as a student in the holidays, than I did on my first full time job as I had three jobs in the holidays, 2 term time.

Backtobedlam · 01/03/2015 23:41

Unless I needed the money I don't think I'd charge. I have the attitude that it is a family home rather than belongs to me and DH. My parents didn't charge me or my siblings when living at home though, so maybe that's why I feel like that.

StayGoldPonyBoy · 01/03/2015 23:42

Mum charged me 10%

On my apprenticeship wage she got £45 a month, on my grown up wage she got £130 and I was expected to look after myself eg if I didn't want a meal I had to source my own alternative, wash own clothes etc. I spent most of my time at DHs student flat but if I was home more often she'd have expected more chipping in with family chores.

insanityscratching · 01/03/2015 23:49

Ds's and dd pay £30pw so a nominal sum because we don't need it. I don't ask them to help out but they pick up chores regardless. I do some of their laundry as a favour (work clothes) but in the most part they do their own. If they are home and want what I have cooked then I feed them otherwise they sort themselves and so buy extra groceries to cover this.They take me out for meals regularly, treat their Dad to football tickets and buy gifts for younger ds and dd and take them out monthly.

watchingthedetectives · 01/03/2015 23:51

Depends a bit if you need the money. When DS1 moves back he has agreed to pay a certain amount per month into a savings account which can't be immediately accessed so he gets used to budgeting and saves up towards a deposit

It's different if you need the money to keep the household running. I would say £200-250