Charging "digs" for 19 year old.

[BlackLabsAreBest]

Posting here for traffic and advice on what is fair to charge a 19 year old living at home.

Wages are £700 a month but they have car insurance of £140, gym membership £10 and phone contract £15 per month. They help with washing/cooking/cleaning/dog walking daily and do weekly shop on their own which we pay for.

What would you charge? I have no idea what to charge (if anything).

I believe that paying towards your own upkeep is part of being an adult.

Like MrsFuzzy, we also charged DD1 a nominal amount when she was on JSA, even though we didn't need the money. This was to encourage her to look for work more actively (otherwise she would have been quite happy remaining on JSA, with all food etc and internet access paid for).

On the other hand, we did pay for them to come skiing with us last month.

I always gave my Mum the equivalent of 1 week's wage. I also paid half the phone bill (in those dinosaur days before mobiles).

...and I don't charge my 17 year old anything for "rent" but she pays me £100 a month out of her £600 wages (part time waitress...going to Uni in September) towards her car insurance (which is £150 a month) and her IPhone (which is £25 a month) so I think that's pretty fair.

I think £200 is a reasonable amount.
£100 put away into savings for their future and £100 for you to blow on sex drugs and rock and roll

It's all very nice and middle class to say "oh we don't want to charge Amy for living in her own home" but the reality is that many families just don't have that luxury. My mum had a 3 bedroom house, as soon as we were full-time working earners, she needed us to pay if we wanted to live there. The other option was her moving out and finding a one bed that she could afford.

They're paying for their own car, phone, food and I assume clothing? Also probably out at work a lot so not using much of the gas, water and electric? So really it's just board and a small contribution towards bills. I'd say £100-£150 a month is fair.

Stranger:

I posted The bottom line is, if you need the money then they have to pay a fair share, if you don't then only you can decide what is the best parenting style you can adopt regarding rent/chores.

No-one has contradicted that and others have said it does, of course, depend on your circumstances. Nothing to do with class, and everything to do with your financial situation.

As said, if you could afford it I would take £100-150 and save it for their future. Alternative tack (again, nice if you can afford it) would be to say save what you want and I'll add x% to the pot every month. I think it's good for young people to have a time with no financial responsibilities and some disposable income, before they join the drudgery of the rest of their financial lives. I am a screaming liberal though ;)

Thank you all so much for the replies. We've decided on £150 a month which we'll put in a savings account. DH and I are both work in well paid jobs and don't need the money but do feel at 19 they at least need to think they're contributing to the house financially. DD is good at saving and managing her money but extra savings never go wrong (especially if they don't know about it).

It been really interesting reading others views, opinions and personal experiences and thanks for taking the time to reply.

Intrigued why you went to some lengths to conceal the gender of your child until your last post, when you revealed she was a girl. Did you think the answers would be different for male and female teens?

when i lived at home i paid my mum €50 a week, did my own food shopping and paid the electricity, tv and internet bill.

i also had to pay for her everywhere we went. i really felt at the time she took advantage of me. it averaged about 450 a month excluding my food bill (i wasn't allowed to eat the household food) plus treating my mom to days out which easily cost another €50 a week.

i would say anything between €100 and €200 is fair but if it were closer to the €200 i would put a bit away for when they move out and need a deposit or something like that.

When my partner lived with her parents she was paying £200 a month and buying her own food, I lived rent free at my parents.

No Jessie that never even occurred to me. Why on earth would gender make any difference? It was simply the way I worded my post.

I don't think I would charge my dcs when they are still teens, instead I would urge them to put a portion of their income into savings to go towards their own flat.
I would hate them to fall into the rent trap like I did for years instead of buying.
I would ask that they pick up some essentials like bread, milk, fruit etc.

At 18 and working full time earning £800pm I paid my mum and dad £300. £150 was "keep" and they saved the other £150 for me. That gave me £125 a week for spending. I got no subs though and I had to pay everything out that £500 p/m

That was 14 years ago

I just do not understand charging your own children rent

if you dont need to

This is very interesting. I think I would charge them a small amount (about £100) and put it in a savings account for them since we don't need the money. Its just about financial discipline, responsibility and getting ready for real life. And if nothing else what more will they spend their money on? Lots of people would love to have £700 a month to spend on themselves with no bills etc.

I definitely will charge mine if not at college/uni. Otherwise they will fall into the trap a few of my friends did of having crap jobs but doing pretty well financially as their parents subsidised their life. So eventually when they left home (none to surprisingly some of the last) reality hit.

It's a good lesson that a shit job means you have little money.
If I could afford it I would save if for education or help towards a deposit.

I think it is odd to take money but keep it for them. Teaches them much less about reality than if you sit down and have a chat with with, point them in the direction of a bank and encourage them to manage their own savings, get used to using a bank responsibly rather than just as a means of getting credit.

The taxman, or your mortgage provider don't pop up at intervals during your life and say 'all this money you've been paying us, look, we kept it for you - have it back!'.

aliba totally with you on this one about 'returning money' unless it is a substantial amount, it isn't always going to be enough for a deposit on a mortgage, let alone renting somewhere. some posters come across as a bit smug when they say they do this, that is a shame because imo it is personal choice but it does not make you a better parent as a result. a lot of kids would possibly think, 'ah, got a couple of grand now, i'm going on holiday or the like and there is nothing anyone least of all the parents (intending for it to go to something productive] can do about it. sorry, i'm a bit of a cynic, but that is through experience.

Our 23 year old is with us after uni.

He works ft and shifts from 9am to 11 pm as a chef.

We don't charge him because we don't need to but if we needed to we would.

Depends on circumstances.

In my day , it was generally save a third, spend a third, give a third to your parents.

is he good at saving?

Would it be helpful to take some to save for him?

If so, I'd take £200 & save all or most of it.

Charge whatever you want and put it into a savings account for them. They will thank you later as
A. They will have a lovely lump sum when they need it.
B. they will get used to budgeting quicker. It's not good to get used to a huge disposable income as it will be a hard bump to reality when they have to fund independent life with bills etc.

You could keep this a secret or you could be upfront about it and perhaps agree to "charge more"

My MIL charged her son (now my BIL) about £100 a week and then when he left home and got his own place a year or two later she gave it all back to him as a gift to furnish his new flat.
It taught him about saving , budgeting and paying rent etc and he got a nice unexpected windfall when he needed it most.