Charging "digs" for 19 year old.

[BlackLabsAreBest]

Posting here for traffic and advice on what is fair to charge a 19 year old living at home.

Wages are £700 a month but they have car insurance of £140, gym membership £10 and phone contract £15 per month. They help with washing/cooking/cleaning/dog walking daily and do weekly shop on their own which we pay for.

What would you charge? I have no idea what to charge (if anything).

I think about £100. I view it as our family home, that all adults are expected to contribute towards. DS 1 might have moaned about it at the start but he knows what side his bread is buttered on!

It depends on several things, so I'll just tell you what we do.

Our daughter will be 24 next Sunday and has only been able to find a part-time job, but takes all the overtime she can get so makes between £500+ to £700+ a month. She doesn't have a car and is very good at saving although has does have the occasional "splurge" if there is an event she really wants to go to and these tend to be abroad so can spend a thousand or so each time on flights,accommodation etc. We're far from well off (only live in a little bungalow on the south coast) and she has a tiny bedroom, but we don't take any money from her at all as we don't need to.
We think that if she had a full-time job and gave us some money for her keep it would work out the same as her working part-time and paying nothing - in terms of what she's able to save. She doesn't have any set chores but always does anything we ask her to, immediately and without complaint, and is a joy to have around. She often pays for things and refuses to take any money btw.

So, OP if you think your 19 yr old will benefit from paying a certain amount per month and/or if you need the money, go ahead and work out an appropriate amount. Whether you in fact save some to give to them as a financial boost when they leave home or whether you will need it all, is up to you to work out. I am happy that our daughter is intelligent and responsible enough to manage her money well when she leaves home.

I think you should be realistic or it will be a nasty shock as and when they leave home . As other Posters have said you can save a % for him if you like!

Just to add, I left home at the age of 16 having not paid my parents anything for my keep (hadn't worked till that age) and went to London and lived and worked independently from then on. (Married in late 30s). Never had any help from my parents at any time. Everyone is different.

I would charge about 150-200 and then save it up for him and when he leaves home give it to him. I wouldn't be expecting him to contribute to the household but I guess each family is different.

£200 a month. And the 'helping round the house' isn't a favour - they live there too. Luxuries like gym membership and phone they can budget for from what they have after they've paid the essentials i.e somewhere to live

I wouldn't charge anything. If they are starting college in September I would be encouraging that they save for that- or indeed take £100 a month and put it aside for September.

We are in a similar situation

we don't charge anything

I am another poster that charging to stay in the family home just doesn't sit right with.

You aren't charging to stay in the family home as such. You're recognising that your child is transitioning into adulthood and as such it's time to start learning to pay their way. I see it as our responsibility as parents to help our children to learn to stand on their own two feet, and that includes financially.
If you're wealthy and don't need the money, then why not quietly save it ready to hand over with a smile when they need their first house purchase or rental deposit?

When I started work at 17 my Dad took 1/3 for my keep, I saved 1/3 and the rest was mine (hoorah!). It felt a bit harsh at the time but really was a good life lesson. Then when I got married Dad produced a nice chunk of my "keep" to pay for it.

I would charge the actual living costs based on what they are, not on what the individual is earning.

I wouldn't be taking into account their "other expenses" such as mobile bills, car etc. Those are luxuries and you decide whether you can afford luxuries after you've paid your essential bills, not before. The person is an adult and adults pay their way. So, if there were three adults in the home each would pay a third towards the rent/water/council tax/gas/electricity etc.

I would have to evict my teen if they were expected to pay a third of all household expenses

My parents didn't charge me anything but I did have to help around the house, pay for my driving lessons and petrol and I sometimes chipped in for food, bought my mom flowers etc
I will always look back fondly on that time as it meant I could do an internship, they always treated me as an equal and we get on great. I would never expect to pay to live in my own home. DH had to pay rent in the uni holidays

Paying a third of expenses that seems such a cold attitude to have towards your dc.

I would evict my teen if they didn't pay their share of household expenses, AnyFucker. A: I don't work to subsidise other adults, especially not so they can pay for, say, a mobile contract or gym membership but not their share of the bills.
B: I couldn't afford to pay their share of the bills. A child reaches 18, starts working and stops being eligible for child maintenance/benefit/tax credit/consideration within the parent/s housing and council tax allowances and the money to cover that has to come from somewhere. That somewhere is the person who benefits from what it provides - they are earning it. My wages don't suddenly go up by divine intervention!

I stayed at home with my dad after DD was born for a few years until I could afford to move out. He only asked for money once I returned to work and I paid him £30 pw but I did the majority of the house work and half the cooking so he must have thought this was fair. I also paid my own car costs, phone bills and bought my own luxuries etc.

I intend to ask my DC for something depending on their wage etc if they are working, they need to learn to pay their own way and be responsible with money before setting out on their own but I would put some of it away I think

If my teen paid a third of household expenses that would mean they were also supporting the other children living at home

I don't consider that to be their remit at all

At 17 I was giving my parents £150 pcm. Doing housework was just the norm, no different than pre-job. I was expected to save a chunk of my wage and it meant I was able to put down 1/2 the money for a new car when we needed one and also loan my parents a large amount when they had financial probs.

When I met my DH he had just turned 21 and had always given his mum some of his p/t wage (worked since he was 16). When he finished Uni his first f/t job paid 13k and he paid her £350 pcm for rent and continued to do the usual housework, babysitting and ferrying about.
He was the only sibling expected to contribute (big back story) and muck in and he thought it was the norm.

Neither do I, AnyFucker. I'm speaking of an adult only household, with each paying an equal share of the bills and housing costs.

I'm not convinced by the argument that you should charge your children once they're earning, lest they be shocked by the cost of living when they leave home. Financial education doesn't just happen when they hit adulthood - it should be a lifelong process, and if you haven't done that, then you've under-performed in an important part of parenthood.

Kids understand that their parents have to work to pay bills, and there isn't money to buy whatever they want, whenever they want. They would have been brought up to save a bit of their birthday or pocket money for bigger purchases, and learned about delayed gratification. There should have been conversations about what's value for money, and how to make a budget.

If you've build this foundation when they're younger, then your children will most likely be budgeting and saving for their own goals while working - be that study, travel, a house deposit or a car. If they respect your support while living at home and contribute to the housework (as you would expect them to regardless of whether they were working or not), why not let them save more and reach their goals faster?

Now, if you're in desperate need of their financial contribution, then that may be another story - but own the limits of your own financial situation, rather than dressing it up as pure concern for their welfare as future independent adults. (Again - this is part of responsible, lifelong learning about managing your money.)

It seems many people forget that becoming an independent adult isn't all woe and financial outlay. Having the freedom to decide where and how you live is usually well worth the cost (and the possible in living standards from the parental nest).

It simply wouldn't work for us as

1. there are other dependants in the house

2. I wouldn't expect a 19yo to be able to afford the same standard of living accommodation as her parents who have been working for 30+ years unless still subsidised to some extent

I think I would want £100 a month and put in a savings account.

I think some of you need to re-read. I paid a third of my wages...

Someone else suggested that the young adult should pay their portion of household expenses and offered an example with 3 in the household, which would mean that the youngster paid a third of expenses.

I don't see anyone saying a third of expenses should be paid regardless of the number in the household. Maybe talking about a fifth for a household of 5 would have gone down better.

I think in many cases the reality is that if you don't charge anything your offspring will be sorely tempted to just enjoy spending their earnings and a substantial percentage of them won't take the opportunity to save and budget. When I started work alongside my friends we all paid some sort of keep, even those who had rich parents. I'm afraid that this trend towards being so "generous" that we constantly cushion our young against the realities of life is breeding a generation of entitled adults with unrealistic expectations about what material possessions they should be able to own.