To be feel that some of the public have been mislead and a charity have lost out?

[JoanHickson]

I just had a look at Dax's tale of New York on facebook. I now see the £13k they promised of the publics money to Ronald Mcdonald House isn't going there now. They raised the money by advising the public, funds were to cover medical bills, then they were going to give to the charity.

fluffymouse - totally agree. It even looks as though his partner is cringing a little bit inside.

I was one of those who suggested, on the FB page, that someone could take out a case full of clothes for them. Iirc, an air stewardess offered to take things out for them - but all they wanted was money to buy new stuff - none of the offersof help/suggestions were followed up.

I could understand if a small amount of the money donated had gone to help with the extra expenses associated with their prolonged stay - they were accommodated in a Ronald McDonald house, but they would have had some extra (but reasonable) costs. However, reasonable costs would, to my mind, include the cost if shipping out a couple of cartons of clothes for them - not all new clothes. And there was a suggestion at one point that the money could be used for family to go out and visit - I am not sure that would be entirely reasonable.

I imagine they must have used some to cover rent/mortgage and bills at home - that is on the line, for me, but could be seen as reasonable, since it allowed both parents to stay out there with the baby.

I haven't seen the interview, but it sounds as if he didn't come over at all well.

She could do with some advice from Anyfucker in relationships.

What stank to high heaven was that the fundraiser was his employer fund raising as he wasn't going to get paid to be able to stay over there from what I can make out.

That is completely true Terry, but Richard was going to be taking on Lee's clients and only paying Katie basic maternity pay. He is such a good mate!

Scandalous. I hope this is investigated and RMH get the full whack.

It is the Mum and boy I feel for. They are the one's having to face others who will think as we do about them, at the school gates, baby clinic and so forth.

I don't feel for the mother. She has been complicit in this fraud. No doubt the baby's premature birth was very frightening but they've certainly sought the silver lining.

What a contrast to the fundraising for the disabled man mugged outside his home which was demonstrably transparent in it's purpose.

I think that these sort of free for all fundraising needs to be illegal unless it is managed by a registered charity. I did a major fundraising event for a specific purpose a number of years ago and a registered charity gave me permission to use their name and logo, administered all the funds, and the leftover funds ( we ended up raising about $5k more than required) went to the charity. Everyone knew where they stood, I didn't have to touch the money.

These crowd fundraisers are getting out of control. I had one all over my newsfeed for someone who wanted to take their dog to Crufts. If you can't afford something, then don't go!

I just don't get the outrage. Inexperienced bloke tries to help friends out and on the pages most of the people donating were quite happy for them to keep the money and use it for Dax. So what if they decided to make some cash, I just can't get upset about it. If people are mugs and donate to something like that it's up to them. They are well liked apparently, maybe their community cares and is happy to help?
And the medical fees stuff was all over the pages , anyone not local would have picked up the issues quite quickly.

Plus he can't change the t and c of her contract and the company re maternity pay unless he does for everyone.
There's no regulation on private donations and no tax liability so all this hoping to report them somewhere is going nowhere.

Exactly Nerf.

It was pretty clear from the fb page that those who gave didn't really care what the money was spent on.

If you didn't give, then you haven't lost anything. I don't know why anyone would be that invested.

i think that most people got upset that they "seemed to be more interested in raising money before worrying about the health of the baby" Also, they didnt seem to be interested in offers of actual stuff to be brought out

The issue with the facebook page was the abuse meted out to anyone who didnt agree with the fund raising, and raised any questions about where the money was going and why it was being raised. Including anti-disabled, and racist comments.

I think some of the comments from both sides (supporters AND detractors) went a bit too far - but I would like to know how much of what was donated actually got to RM - and i dont think we will ever see it, but how much was raised, and how much was kept...

I think a certain number of these "raising money for cute kids" can be on the line of obtaining money by deception though. He's just not bright enough to hide it as much as many. I am skeptical about any I don't have personal contact with.

I've often wondered if there would be a place (or possible) for an acceditation for such things. They would check what they're asking for money for-whether it's a pie in the sky, or has a track record; what exactly they're asking for money for-and then that they use the money for what they say and that sort of things. Obviously it wouldn't stop people doing it off their own bat, but it might make people think a little.
If, for example, as one I saw they're saying that they need to alter their driveway for disabled wheelchair access, when actually the child will be fully walking with no assistance needed by 3yo.
Or another I saw saying the NHS wouldn't help as they lived in (eg) Oxford and the nearest centre was Reading...
They would be told they couldn't fundraise saying that. They could put (eg) Transport is an issue to Reading as we don't have a car, so it would be easier if we could go to the private one in Oxford", which is true, so people can make an informed choice.

Problem is I have seen people giving more than they can really afford for this sort of situation, which seems to me to be wrong. Yes, they're choosing to, but they're choosing to on the information they've been fed, which isn't giving the whole picture, and sometimes is economical with the truth.

The problem is that with the internet it's too easy for people to appeal and make a few thousand pounds from strangers, and then effectively disappear and spend the money on what they want.
And the more people do that-and you see headlines stating how much they've raised, the more people are likely to try it on. It's not that dissimilar to the beggars who used disabled children to raise money in days gone by.

I've had people ask me if I had thought of raising money for dd2. She was a glorious looking toddler who happened to be born missing her arm. I have seen similar appeals.
But I can assure anyone who is interested that really we have no need: The NHS provides prosthesis as we ask, and other adaptions; there are charities out there that can help with grants/other adaptions if they come up. And actually there is very little extra she needs although she'd like to add at this point that an ipad is necessary for her wellbeing

However if people would like to contribute to our morgage or a cleaning lady to try and find the floor under the mess in her bedroom then please send money to..... bank account information deleted by MNHQ

Im still a bit shocked that they, with such a public story, could have kept the money for themselves knowing the backlash they would receive. Do people really have that much brass neck.

But the fundraiser was based over here. Or are you saying that the parents should have been updating about their baby all the time? Isn't it enough that they were over there?
(To bugger)
I don't think there's any mileage in the caring more about money than the baby story, particularly as it was a third party and not the parents posting.
As for keeping it, they raised it for the family. They are just ordinary people, no media training I assume, if people wanted to give it, they can want to keep it.

From what i read (i can only go on what i read)...
They were fund raising before they got confirmation from the insurance company
They did not announce the insurance company said they were paying out very quickly
The reasons for fund raising changed from paying for medical bills to keeping the home running and flights out for family.
Then it was raising for £2000 breastpumps that 'Katie needed' (mine came from mothercare..... and were a lot cheaper than that!) and other items.... like prams which they 'desparatly needed...'

then there was 'we are donating to charity' - but no follow up...

I'm kinda on the fence, but leaning to the 'let spin this to our advantage' either from the friend or the parents..... I think that no one is coming out of this smelling of roses

At least one person did want their cash back after feeling duped. The person was then going to donate directly to the charity.

What should have happened was ok here you go.

But the admin and his groupies had different ideas and abused the person. Encouraged others to abuse her. And threatened to get her sacked.

How many did this put off from asking for their cash back?

When the con was first posted, it was to cover medical expenses because they weren't covered. It was only after media intervention did they admit that expenses would be covered. Although took a day or so for the site to be updated to state this. In which time over 7k had been conned.

21,000 people 'like' the page and no one really seems bothered about the money apart from the people on here.

I just knew what this would be about.

YANBU at all OP.

Anyone who has posted on the page their concerns have had their comments removed by site admin not before receiving a fair bit of abuse at the hands of some of those who have 'liked' the page so it's innaccurate to say it's only MN who think it's wrong.

Kickstarter and other such money collecting sites ARE NOT CHARITIES. These things, whether they are for pseudo charitable purpose like this, or a theoretical business venture, are not guaranteed in any way. Don't fund projects unless you know and trust the recipients personally, or are willing to lose the money. Or both.

There ARE charities in the US that would have helped this family, and probably UK charities that would have come to their aid as well. And, hospital bills are negotiable in situations like this, not to mention the entire bill wasnt known yet. (And they should have had travel insurance specifically for this possibility, even though she should have been home with weeks to spare.) the total bill might not have been zeroed out, but they would have been able to make requests based on a real total, instead of this situation, where so many people gave them so much money they don't need for the original purpose and they are under no legal obligation to use it as promised.