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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not pay an au pair other than room and board?

133 replies

smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/02/2015 14:13

now that I've got your attention, I'm not mean, I just want to know if it's legally possible?

Have a friend in desperate need of accommodation. Due to our deeds I cannot have a lodger but I can have an au pair.

I really want to help but I can't afford to PAY to have them stay. Can we do a straight childcare/home help for accommodation swap without any money involved?

Thanks

OP posts:
Moniker1 · 28/02/2015 14:34

Why can't you 'pay' her then she give it back to cover 'heating' or something.
But post on the legal board not Aibu
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters

Original poster
smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/02/2015 14:35

countessmarkyabitch she's probably not eligible :-( , I guess I'm clutching at straws. She's officially homeless with a baby, we've had them as "guests" but it's going to become apparent to neighbours (incl interfering residents association) that they are a permanant fixture as they're not getting anywhere with housing. It would help them enourmously to move on/up if they could officially live here somehow and have some sort of status.

But I don't want to make my family homeless either. Its a strict mansion block with an active freeholder and lots of rules. We need to be a "single family unit"

OP posts:
ThunderAndFrightening · 28/02/2015 14:36

It seems unfair on her, au pairs get paid (albeit not much) for a reason. How will she pay for anything? I guess you could agree a very low rate of pocket money and consequently ask for very little in the way of childcare and chores.

If she is applying for stuff - assuming you mean a job or benefits - I am not sure she can also be an au pair.

Original poster
smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/02/2015 14:37

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat In our deeds it's okay if everyone's related, so you can move granny in etc, but you can't have flat sharers. But when I looked up multiple occupancy maids and au pairs etc are exempt and you can count as one family unit so I was just hoping we could work something with that.

I'm sorry for posting in the "wrong" place, but I never get any replies anywhere else on here

OP posts:
Original poster
smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/02/2015 14:38

Thunderandfrightening she ideally would prefer to be a lodger and pay us what she can, but we can't offer that

OP posts:
Original poster
smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/02/2015 14:39

she's looking after her own child anyway so her availabitlity for work wouldn't change

OP posts:
countessmarkyabitch · 28/02/2015 14:39

It sounds like you're trying to do a nice thing, but this doesn't sound the way to go about it if your rules are so strict.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 28/02/2015 14:40

Depending on how committed you are, you could marry her?

WasabiPeace · 28/02/2015 14:41

Do you have a partner?

Original poster
smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/02/2015 14:42

That's a good idea but I'm married. Also we're a different nationality so won't get away with claiming to be siblings

OP posts:
loiner45 · 28/02/2015 14:43

I don't think she can be an au pair unless she is non-UK.

You could be a single family unit if she were your partner of course - which seems daft as the actual living situation would be no different, same number of adults and children. I would post this in the legal section - quoting a bit more about the actual terms of the lease. If you were a single family unit then that would have an impact on any benefits either of you might be claiming. Is there anything in the lease about how long a guest can stay?

Original poster
smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/02/2015 14:46

she's EU but not UK

she would prefer "lodger" because "au pair" doesn't sound like a permanent resident for purposes of whatever she needs to do to get back to housing/work etc.

OP posts:
WasabiPeace · 28/02/2015 14:47

Do you own the property? I'm pretty sure it's almost impossible to actually evict someone for breaking the rules like this. It would be a lengthy court process and incredibly expensive for the freeholder, I'm not sure they'd bother.

Original poster
smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/02/2015 14:48

nothing about guests, but I think we've already out-run that (or will soon)

She needs an address. It's hard to improve your situation without one.

OP posts:
Piratespoo · 28/02/2015 14:48

Can't she be your maid then?

catsandstuff · 28/02/2015 14:49

Could she not be a sister or a cousin? It would be massive faff for the freeholder busybody to prove you otherwise!

Original poster
smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/02/2015 14:49

Ironically one of the reasons we chose this place was because the freeholder here HAS previously taken back deeds for breach of rules

(I know that sounds odd, but our previous home had been on fire twice because of one of the leaseholders and the freeholder wasn't acting on it so we liked that this freeholder would remove dangerous neighbours)

OP posts:
Original poster
smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/02/2015 14:50

wouldn't we have to pay a maid?

OP posts:
catsandstuff · 28/02/2015 14:50

Ok, not a sister, cousin it is (second cousin if you must!)

countessmarkyabitch · 28/02/2015 14:50

If there is nothing in your lease about guests, how it is any of the freeholders business how long you have them for? Having a long term guest doesn't alter you being a single family unit.
I find it difficult to believe your freeholder has any say in this whatsoever.

InfinitySeven · 28/02/2015 14:50

If you're married, she won't pass as a viable partner.

Are you sure that officially moving her in will help? I mean obviously it gives her somewhere to live but it might make her lower priority for housing of her own.

Could you get a maximum guest stay in writing from the residents association, and ask a solicitor for advice on legality?

InfinitySeven · 28/02/2015 14:52

Ah sorry, many cross posts.

thoth · 28/02/2015 14:54

Can't she be maid in return for board and lodging? If you did a contract that would set out terms legally.

WhyNotSmile · 28/02/2015 14:55

Would the Citizens' Advice Bureau be able to advise you? They might have someone who could look at your housing agreement and tell you your options.

ssd · 28/02/2015 14:56

op, is it worth asking citizens advice and getting the correct legal advice?

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