to wonder how to confront misogyny

[Thehoardernextdoor]

Tonight DH,DBF (also male) and I went to our local for a drink, behind us and round the corner in the quiet bar were 4 men.
All of a sudden I was aware of one of these guys talking REALLY loudly about how Fred West had the right idea, how he wished he had a cellar/extension where he could do the same etc. Spouting horribly misogynistic stuff, his friends were laughing in an embarrassed way clearly not that comfortable with it, and I was so angry and upset, only woman in the bar, I knew I would have to say something, but I am terrible at confrontation. So we drank up, I told dh and dbf to get going and then I went over to these guys and said, "I don't know which one of you was saying all that disgusting stuff about Fred West but you obviously hate women and you've got a small dick." I turned and walked away,I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, but now I'm thinking I should have handled it better. How could I have humiliated him more in front of his mates? Should I have engaged him in a serious discussion? Basically, what would you have done or said?

"I'd have told him Fred was nothing without Rose, the real brains of the operation."

Ha. Good one.

Sooty I didn't want it to turn into a fight or even a protracted discussion. I wanted to go over say something concise and cutting and get out quick. As for the bar staff, I'd seen the landlord talking to them earlier but he'd disappeared-it was still quite early and I guess he'd gone until he was really needed. There was just one barmaid on and her daughter who was helping out with washing up-to be honest it never occurred to me to involve them

Yawn. Everyone just 'says' something dramatic and storms off here.... Almost never really rings true how it's reported, even if there might be a grain of truth.

Well there's clearly no point in hanging around if people don't believe me although why anyone would make such a thing up is beyond me

I am sure that the majority believe you - it seems like some posters see a troll on every street corner.

I believe you. I still think approaching the bar staff would have been a better idea.

I believe you too.

Thank you. I'm still glad I did something but if it happened again I would do it differently which was all I really wanted from this post. I was aiming for the Julia Roberts/Notting Hill scenario which someone posted earlier but in retrospect I probably came over as a middle aged Inbetweener

You did something anyway. We can all look and see better ways in hindsight and you've not lost your sense of humour!

I think you did really well

I believe you. You're not alone in thinking of the perfect retort some hours too late! Well done for having a go at him.

I think you were quite brave.