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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU to not want to share my experiences anymore with people who lie?!

36 replies

Number3cometome · 27/02/2015 10:25

Partner assaulted me. 31 weeks pregnant. What do I do? Please help.

This was on AIBU yesterday and has been deleted by Mumsnet with this note 'Message from MNHQ: We've looked into things, and we've reasons to believe that the OP isn't genuine, so we thought it best to remove this thread. Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond and offered their advice flowers'

I am so fucking upset. I shared my story on here about my own experiences and gave advice.

Why would someone make this up?

I am disgusted.

I missed the end of the posting as I was at home sleeping, can anyone tell me what happened?

I feel like keeping my experiences to myself now Sad

OP posts:
countessmarkyabitch · 27/02/2015 10:26

Everyone lies. It's just words on a screen, every single post could be a lie. Best to not get so invested in anonymous forums.

Charlotte3333 · 27/02/2015 10:27

Jesus, what an awful lie to post.

No idea what happened but Flowers because although the op may not have been honest, you shared your story in order to help someone in trouble. You're awesome for doing that.

afreshstartplease · 27/02/2015 10:28

When she mentioned the motorway thing I was a bit Hmm

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/02/2015 10:28

Genuine posters may also derive support from your posts, even if they didn't start the thread. You probably need to work on the basis that everyone on here is a 14 year old boy trying to wind you up.

Original poster
Number3cometome · 27/02/2015 10:30

I missed the motorway thing?

What happened?

countessmarkyabitch everyone lies? Speak for yourself!
But yes, I shouldn't have got so emotionally invested. I guess I felt someone was experiencing something I have been through, and that thought alone is very upsetting.

Charlotte Thank you - I was trying to help her, but obviously she needs more help than we first thought.

OP posts:
APlaceInTheWinter · 27/02/2015 10:30

Someone else reading the thread might have benefitted from you sharing your story. So although the OPon the original thread seems to have been a troll, that doesn't mean that the entire thread was a waste of time or that you haven't helped some MNer lurking on the thread and not posting.

Flowers but it's always worth remembering not to give something you can't afford to lose whether that's your time, advice or a personal story.

WorraLiberty · 27/02/2015 10:30

I don't know what happened on the thread as I went to bed too.

It's shit, OP. There have always been trolls on the internet but just lately MN seems to have more than its fair share of the emotional leech type trolls.

There's nothing you can do except make yourself a personal rule that you'll never share more than you're comfortable with, because anyone could potentially be a liar/troll.

SolomanDaisy · 27/02/2015 10:30

I didn't even open that thread, the way the title was written and the fact it was in AIBU were enough. Sorry they tricked you into sharing, that's one of the worst things about trolls.

Original poster
Number3cometome · 27/02/2015 10:31

I'm pissed off with myself for not spotting it.

Usually I'm the first one yelling "TROLL!!"

Urgh.

OP posts:
afreshstartplease · 27/02/2015 10:32

Something about him trying to kill them on the motorway yet she was still pondering if he would harm her again

GiddyOnZackHunt · 27/02/2015 10:33

It is horrible when that happens to you and yes it does make you very guarded as to what you reveal. In some ways although it's really upsetting at the time, it does remind you that you know very little about most posters here - even if you feel like you do.
Just very sad that some person getting their fun from a few sentences posted on a forum prevents genuine posters getting the same help offered in future.

WorraLiberty · 27/02/2015 10:35

You probably need to work on the basis that everyone on here is a 14 year old boy trying to wind you up.

I disagree with that, because most 14yr olds (either male or female) would probably choose Twitter/Facebook/Anything more interesting than a website for parents, if they wanted to troll.

Personally I think the majority of trolls/bullshitters on here are probably female and aged around 30+.

I don't really know why I think that...probably just the subject matter and experience of MN for the last 3 years.

But whenever anyone says "Oh it must be half term", I still think the trolls are bored adults.

Charlotte3333 · 27/02/2015 10:35

I was trying to help her, but obviously she needs more help than we first thought.

Absolutely, but her need for help doesn't reduce your loveliness for having shared something so huge. And as APlace says, someone else who genuinely was going through something similar could easily have been reading and have been grateful for your words.

FarFromAnyRoad · 27/02/2015 10:36

That's really shitty and I'm sorry you feel this way OP but as others have said - whatever you posted was a. 100% genuine and b. almost certainly of help to someone else who may be in trouble so don't feel too bad. I don't know why I had a funny feeling about that one but I did - but nobody's ever going to be Hmm on a DV thread are they - these strange internet liars know this and they choose their subjects carefully. I'm sure the OP of that thread will be watching and reading - I urge you to get the help you so obviously need to resolve your issues. You cannot go through life like this - it's just wrong and karma will bite your trolly ass before too long - of that you can be sure.

JugglingLife · 27/02/2015 10:37

I got sucked into that one too number3. So fucking gullible. And why, just why would somebody do that? Puts you off hand holding doesn't it, think I might stick to klaxons and sporn in future.

AndyWarholsOrange · 27/02/2015 10:39

I don't usually post to moan about trolls because I feel like it's just giving them attention but that one really pissed me off. A friend of mine miscarried at 21 weeks after her 'D' P pushed her down the stairs so it really resonated with me.
To those of you that posted and shared difficult things, just remember that you're all lovely people who were trying to help whereas the OP is just a tragic fuckerFlowers

pressone · 27/02/2015 10:39

I wrote a huge long message sharing my experiences and giving advice and support only to find when I went to post that the thread was closed with no explanation. It may have been a reverse with the abuser looking to see what advice a partner may be given so they can prepare their defence. It may have started off genuine but the poster got carried away into things that were not quite true (she did not seem to think that what was happening was that bad, or she may have been craving support and wanted it to continue), the partner may have got hold of the thread and continued to post more extreme things, or it may have been a complete load of bunkum to start with.

I agree with the others that whilst the OP may not have needed your story and support many others wilol and therefore your sharing is still valid and useful.

ilovemargaretatwood8931 · 27/02/2015 10:39

number3, I feel the same as you. I'm shocked, upset and feel sick.

I so nearly wrote a long, empathetic post to her myself, as I could identify with some of what she was (supposedly) going through. I refreshed the display before composing my piece- and glad I did. Just WTF really...

I'm very sorry that you feel like this, that this happened. I empathise with you. Thank you for your bravery in posting though. Flowers

SylvaniansAtEase · 27/02/2015 10:53

'She' updated to say she'd gone home with him, hadn't told anyone, then he was swerving and trying to crash the car on the mway with her and toddler in back, then more drama at home with him threatening to kill himself. And then 'But will it happen again, maybe it won't, he can be sooo lovely.'

Bleurgh.

Sorry you got sucked in OP. But you did a GOOD thing - someone somewhere will have seen your post, and not felt so alone. You may have helped someone, even if it wasn't the idiotic OP.

I've been here a long time, through many namechanges, and I don't share. I rant, dictate, urge, vent (mainly on relationships) - but I don't share. Then when threads like this are busted, at least I know I may feel annoyed, but I don't feel angry or upset.

I'm sorry for your experiences Flowers

SilenceInTheLibrary · 27/02/2015 10:57

I posted on that thread - but there was something about the later posts that made me think 'wind up' tbh. She was milking it a bit.

Beggars belief what some people will do for kicks.

yanbu.

Griphook · 27/02/2015 10:58

You probably need to work on the basis that everyone on here is a 14 year old boy trying to wind you up.

Why just a boy not girl? Such sexist shit

SilenceInTheLibrary · 27/02/2015 11:08

Get a grip, griphook.

MuttersDarkly · 27/02/2015 11:08

Lurkers vastly outnumber active posters.

You may never know how many people found your generosity useful, helpful or "light bulb moment" causing. However an awful lot of the time the majority of people aided by somebody stepping out of the comfort zone in terms of sharing experience ... are the people you never hear a peep out of.

It feels horrible to be duped into taking that step. But in all probability it had real value, for real human beings who read it.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/02/2015 11:29

14 year old boy because that was a shortcut to saying that you can't rely on people here being who they say they are. Afaik boys are never pregnant. Find some actual sexism to fight against.

EatShitDerek · 27/02/2015 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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