AIBU to not want to share my experiences anymore with people who lie?!

[Number3cometome]

Partner assaulted me. 31 weeks pregnant. What do I do? Please help.

This was on AIBU yesterday and has been deleted by Mumsnet with this note 'Message from MNHQ: We've looked into things, and we've reasons to believe that the OP isn't genuine, so we thought it best to remove this thread. Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond and offered their advice flowers'

I am so fucking upset. I shared my story on here about my own experiences and gave advice.

Why would someone make this up?

I am disgusted.

I missed the end of the posting as I was at home sleeping, can anyone tell me what happened?

I feel like keeping my experiences to myself now

The thing is you never know who else may have been reading and had their eyes opened by the reply.

I'll admit I didn't see the thread in question and yes it is horrible to share something so personal and see it, well trampled on, but.

Now my recollection may be wrong but this is how I remember it.

There was a thread a while back , the initial thread I think, though I may be wrong the poster and partner had discussed children had 1 or 2 and the Husband/partner wanted another and she didn't and wanted advice on how to bring this up, or something like that.

The thing is there was one poster that was adamant that because the OP had agreed to 3 (or whatever) children she couldn't back out now

Long story short; and a few more threads it turned out this lovely woman was being horribly abused in every way and was so used to it that it was her 'normal'. And one of the ways was her husband insisting on having more children. He want X amount, she loosely agreed back in the days when they were dating, therefore they were going to have that many no matter what she wanted.

The fact that most couples discuss things like how many children to have and that either had/has a right to change their mind seemed alien to her, the thread was not a light bulb moment but a clink of light.

Now this is my hazy recollection I may have it totally arseways but the point is it wasn't till someone else shared and others agreed with their stories that she started to see her 'normal' wasn't normal

Last thread I read from her she and the children got out and were doing really well. I still think of her often, and no matter how much shit goes on and is said about this site for me the thought of her and her children safe and happy makes it worth it.

I have shared shit stuff that has happened to me and it has been nice to know I'm not alone, that it wasn't me. . .and it is shitty to think that someone might be getting sick jollies off it.

But somewhere out there there may be someone thinking hang on a minute!

This is what's happening in my life and all of these people believe her!

And they're saying its very wrong. . .

Is it?

Maybe it isn't my fault?

Maybe it's not that I make him so mad that he has no choice but to hit out, just maybe he's the one in the wrong. . .

Sometimes these threads just plant a seed, that maybe there is a different way.

As others have said, lurkers outweigh posters.

Saying all that OP, it is shitty to start troll threads andit does hurt.

Smallcog said everything I was about to say.

Sorry to rise a dead thread. I just wanted to apologise and say that I was the Op of the thread this was about.

I was blocked by mumsnet and thread removed with no warning because they thought I was not genuine. And obviously all of you people that helped me have jumped to that conclusion too because it was removed. I know there are awful trolls on here but I've never seen it for anything as serious as this and unfortunately I was being completely truthful .

I just want to say thank you to everyone that helped and supported me. And that I've been staying at my mums the last few days. I'm sorry to say I've still not told anybody about what happened, but I think it also hit me fairly hard that I was receiving so much support on here and then all of a sudden I was blocked and saw this post. And I thought jesus. If a load of people on the Internet don't even believe me then how will anyone else . I kept trying to re register and it felt like all of the support i had had just vanished. Which is such a let down and a shame because I was a regular poster with a different name. If they had bothered to look back through my posts they would see that only last week maybe the week before I was helping someone on here support their friend who wasn't ready to leave an abusive relationship. I had been happily actively chatting on loads of serious as well as light hearted issues and I just felt gutted and like a lifeline was gone.

I know people have posted on here that they were a bit about what I had said and that I was taking it seriously one minute and not the next but I was very much in a state of shock. In a matter of weeks I'll be becoming a mum all over again and every little part of me was just praying that it wasn't quite as bad as I thought and that it might not happen again.

I know I probably sound really sad but a lot of you seemed to understand how I was feeling. He was my fresh start. He was having hypnotherapy for stress at work and I have suggested we have some sessions together. I'm terrified of having this baby without him. Of him not getting better. He is really remorseful and says he wants help but I really don't know if I can believe it or not.

I'm so sorry to those of you that thought I was a troll. having read this thread I'd just like to reassure some of you too about what happened on the motorway. My toddler was not in the car thank god. I had managed to get him to my parents house. It was late at night and we were on our way back. Motorway was restricted down to 50 anyway and dead at that time of night. He started to swerve and I pulled the handbrake. It didn't stop the car but did slow it down enough to regain control of the situation.

I was so scared that the only thing that kept me safe driving home was telling him everything would be ok and that I loved him. I felt I had to do that to save my life. He seems genuinely unstable at times but so loving at others. If that makes me sound like a troll I'm so sorry but some of you seemed to relate and I do need some sense talking into me as my head feels like a tazmanian devil.

Thank you again to all of you that were there for me that night. I was checking my phone while I was in the loo and it was the next morning when I was trying to reply that I saw it had been deleted. Thank you again so much for reaching out to me.

Pineapple, if you are a genuine poster, report your posts to MNHQ and they will talk to you. For some reason they didn't think your last thread stacked up, and I don't think posting on here is the way to go if you are genuine and wanting help.

Thanks RJ. It would be nice if they had asked me to verify something before outright blocking me. Because I know I need help but I'm just pointing out (long handedly I know) that in a situation like mine, cutting the person off from posting at all is very isolating and I understand they are suspicious of lots of posters. But if you just think for a minute about how it must feel if those suspicions are wrong, your help is cut off at your time of need.
And sometimes anonymous help is invaluable.

It's sad and I do feel a bit let down by mumsnet. Especially as I posted a while ago but forgot to name change and panicked a bit later. It was a post that had changed the odd detail so as not to be too identifiable but the more people got into it I started to panic about my ex partner identifying me and asked mumsnet twice to remove it. They wouldn't.

But when I do name change and am honest about what's happening it's removed without a word. Fair enough. remove the thread but maybe have a word with the poster before blocking their whole account

Hi there
Just to clarify, we don't ban people or delete threads lightly.
In fact, we always give folk the benefit of the doubt - but we do have a duty of care to the other members when we discover things behind the scenes that breach our talk guidelines.
Thanks
MNHQ

i didnt see that thread but how creepy to lie about. Not everyone is a troll though

Sorry you felt so hurt op, it's not nice to feel lied to. It takes a lot to share difficult parts of your life, i understand why you are upset.

I'm going to ignore the other part of this thread as I dont think it's helpful to the op of this thread really.

Well this has taken an interesting turn....

OP, I was almost sucked into sharing some very personal information that I believed would be supportive to poster when I first joined MN. I was fortunate that AnyFucker spotted my suckedinness and pm'ed me. I now just try to remember if a thread seems unbelievable, it probably is..if the OP keeps adding more and more details, be very wary and the ol' MN chestnut..Never give more than you can afford, emotionally or financially.