I was going to name change but, frankly, can't be arsed and am willing to take criticism constructive or otherwise for the way I feel. This is also probably more of a rant as well (sorry).
Ok, before I start, I would like to say that this has NOTHING to do with my dsd and EVERYTHING to do with my OH's attitude. I do not resent my dsd (quite the opposite), I do not find her an inconvenience and I very much enjoy her visits, as does our ds (her brother) who adores her. I feel the need to put that in to rebuke the claims before they come.
My issue is that my OH never books any decent time off when dsd visits. She lives 400 miles away, comes for a week at a time. Perfect example....this half term. OH booked no time off during the week (he works Mon-Fri). I was furious for DSD, it basically meant that he had one full day with her, Sunday, and both Saturdays were spent in the car travelling to/from pick up/drop off. The rest of the time was spent with me and her GP, who had to travel 100 miles and book 2 days off work to look after her as I'm never told when the holidays fall until about 2 weeks beforehand and I was already working.
His attitude is 'why should I book annual leave just because DD is coming? I don't get enough to cover it all' [mad] He just doesn't get that she comes to spend time with her daddy, not step-mother or GP's and one day out of 7 just isn't acceptable time to spend with her.
I now have to book my annual leave around her visits as, otherwise, there would be nobody here to look after her (ds goes to nursery) and my poor MIL has said that she isn't willing to cover his backside again (this isn't the 1st time she has had to take time off to provide childcare as OH hasn't organised time off!)
This has been happening since she moved away 3 years ago and I'm sick of it. I know part of the problem is that he and his ex find it incredibly difficult to communicate and avoid talking to each other but it's ridiculous. I have now discovered there is a break coming up. He hasn't told me, I went online to get the dates myself, he hasn't booked any time off and he hasn't made any arrangements as to when the pick up/drop off will be (guaranteed this won't happen until the week before, at best). I have also had to book 2 weeks during the summer holidays but he wasn't happy as they might not agree on those 2 weeks (this is despite me telling him I had had an email asking me to book annual leave for the year as there are over 70 staff to accommodate, in the end I just had to book it). I've told him it's tough, it's those 2 weeks or nothing.
I want to scream that she's his dd, not mine, and his responsibility, not mine, but I realise what a cuntish thing that is to say. I also realise how that could be twisted into a 'you resent dsd' but it's not, I just resent his poor time management and his view that he doesn't have to book time off for dd because everyone else picks up the slack.
Sorry, needed to get it off my chest before he gets out of bed! And, in so many other ways, he is an amazing OH. He is thoughtful, kind, loving, caring and would do anything for me and his kids, but this has been a bone of contention for a very long time!