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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask you about gay saunas

110 replies

workadurka · 24/02/2015 22:39

We've booked a hotel in Brighton to stay with my DP and our DC which has a gay sauna, and I'm wondering if the sauna is likely to be open late and be noisy. I'm a bit naive about saunas and don't know how they usually work - do they often play loud music like a club or are they fairly chilled? Appreciate it probably varies from place to place...

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 25/02/2015 08:42

It sounds like the person responsible for booking hotel rooms at your DHs work didn't really check it out that much.

Perhaps your DH should contact them and get them to arrange somewhere else? Or you could phone the hotel and just make sure you get a room far away from the sauna?

BitOutOfPractice · 25/02/2015 08:42

Where did she say that Santas?

Figster · 25/02/2015 08:44

If it is a work trip do they know you and dc's going too? Should you be?

If they do ask them to change if they don't I wouldn't go is it over a weekend?

Lj8893 · 25/02/2015 08:44

Im not normally a very naive person and knew exactly what a gay sauna was........but had no idea that gay friendly hotel was code for gay brothel?!? Well i never.

nannynome · 25/02/2015 08:46

I think the problem you may have is that the gay sauna bit is part of the hotel and therefore it may not be the best environment for children as it is a destination specifically for gay hookups. I lived with a lot of gay guys and have utterly no issues on that side of things, my DS has gay uncles and aunts and he will, as he grows up, be brought up to accept everyone as people, However I would not take him to a hotel sporting a gay sauna as it is utterly inappropriate. I am happy for everyone to do their own thing wherever they choose to do it (within reason ) however that is what the hotel will be about and that is therefore not a suitable environment for children

Galvanized · 25/02/2015 08:47

It's not, LJ88. Gay friendly can just mean welcoming! But this thread is about gay saunas.

nannynome · 25/02/2015 08:47

That was meant to read equal not people lol

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/02/2015 08:48

Oh my goodness, it's far too early for this

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 25/02/2015 08:48

In her last but one post. I can't copy & paste on my phone but after reading all of the replies the comment was something along the lines of "I don't have a problem with a gay friendly hotel. Should I?"

No, of course not. But that's not the same as a sauna. Hence my comment!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 25/02/2015 08:48

Gay saunas are not brothels. But they are full of men fucking each other. The Amsterdam hotel looks nice enough from the outside, I assume the hotel is just a gay friendly hotel and you are unlikely to run into any fucking.

Lj8893 · 25/02/2015 08:49

Oh well yes that's what i thought!
but some people were implying gay friendly hotel meant something different.....or it could just be early still and i haven't full woken up yet!

Mrsjayy · 25/02/2015 08:52

Well maybe not technically a brothel but a place men pay to go into to have sex so the owner is benefitting from it they are not going in for the benefit of the steam are they

Lj8893 · 25/02/2015 08:54

I nearly booked a gay sauna for my hen party.......i googled Bournemouth spas and Bournemouth sauna came up, took me a while to click what it actually was when i went onto the website. That would have been an interesting hen do!

icelollycraving · 25/02/2015 09:01

Oh god,this has made my day. The comment about the scissors!!!

BitOutOfPractice · 25/02/2015 09:04

Santas she has made it very clear that she knows they are not the same thing. Hence she has no problem staying in a gay friendly hotel. But is concerned about the sauna.

And of course it's nota brothel.

Lifejustbounces · 25/02/2015 09:07

Hi OP, I've been to the bar there (not the sauna) and it's nowhere near as seedy as it might sound. I'd call them and say you'll be staying with kids and ask about the noise from the bar (rather than sauna) as I expect that will be what keeps you up to be honest. It's a proper hotel, not a knocking shop and is in a great location.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 25/02/2015 09:07

Dear Any Fucker, it's one of my favourites too and I think it is not out of place here. Thanks for dusting it off.

The reason I said it was out of place was because it describes the homelife of plenty of queens. Nevermind, I won't try to crack a bad joke again.

PatriciaHolm · 25/02/2015 09:11

The hotels website states over 18s only.

If your DC are younger, then you need to find somewhere else to stay. I'm guessing his work don't know you are tagging along?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 25/02/2015 09:13

Bit the post of mine you are picking up on is a direct reply to OP's 8.22 post & was x-posted with her next post. The 8.22 post absolutely does read as "I have no problem with a gay friendly hotel." Which hopefully no-one is suggesting she should.

Another poster also raised the exact same point before me so I am obviously not the only one to read it that way.

DaygloYellowLady · 25/02/2015 09:14

Lifejust is right, give the hotel a call. I've developed a little bit of knowledge about saunas through my job - some are pretty raucous and some are fairly peaceful.

BitOutOfPractice · 25/02/2015 09:15

Fair enough santas. It just sounded to me as if you were reprimanding the OP somehow but that could just me being in a bastard of a mood this morning. Sorry if I took my anger at Barclays Bastard Business Banking out on you [bush]

BitOutOfPractice · 25/02/2015 09:16

Damn fucking smileys! I didn't mena to show my [bush] but a

Littlecaf · 25/02/2015 09:22

A gay friendly hotel is not a brothel. That is ridiculous.

A gay sauna is a place where gay men (usually) can meet with little clothes on. Sometimes they might have sex.

I have friends who have been to the sauna in the hotel mentioned up thread. They weren't that impressed with the clientele. (An older crowd apparently).

The Amsterdam is clean and gay friendly - it doesn't have poor reputation. It's not a seedy hotel - gay people like swish furnishings and comfort too! I've been to the bar there too - and most of the other ones along the seafront which are all definitely not seedy.

The Queens is a big corporate hotel on the seafront. It mostly does weddings and Groupon deals.

I would either call the hotel and ask re noise/music etc - then take the DCs anyway - perhaps they might like to see a gay friendly hotel - (not the sauna!) or rebook somewhere else.

PS straight or gay, avoid Pride weekend. The parking is horrendous.

Littlecaf · 25/02/2015 09:25

X posted - soz - but yes, if it says over 18s only then I'd definitely ask!

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 25/02/2015 09:27

Ah, I've had 'Barclays rage' many times myself Bit

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