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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I ask mil to change what she's feeding ds1?

90 replies

Tory79 · 24/02/2015 11:59

Background:
No mil issues, she's lovely, we get on fine
Ds1(3) goes for tea once a week, at her request. Obviously I'm very grateful for the break (although I still have ds2 with me) but just to be clear its not a favour or childcare.

So, mil is not a lover of cooking, anything that requires any real cooking seems to strike fear in to her! As a result, ds tea consists of either fishcakes or breaded chicken, waffles AND pasta (plain) AND a slice of bread and butter. I don't care about the fishcakes/chicken it's not the worst thing in the world, but I feel a bit Hmm about the totally unnecessary carb fest and total lack of vegetables!

Wibu to ask her to switch eg the pasta for some peas?! Or do I just leave it?

OP posts:
RestingFuckFace · 24/02/2015 12:01
Biscuit

Get over yourself.

TheWitTank · 24/02/2015 12:01

Just leave it. It's once a week.

RestingFuckFace · 24/02/2015 12:02

"Im very grateful of the break."

"...but its not a favour."

Hmm
Original poster
Tory79 · 24/02/2015 12:04

It's not a favour as in I didn't ask her to have him, obviously I benefit from it

OP posts:
Jackieharris · 24/02/2015 12:04

Stop being a control freak.

Your pfb is going to be fed much worse by other people as he grows up!

SistersOfPercy · 24/02/2015 12:05

It's one night a week at Grannies. It's not the end of the world.

cosmicglittergirl · 24/02/2015 12:05

Once a week doesn't sound so bad if he's getting a mix the rest of the week. Sounds like the sort of beige feast I had most nights as a child!

ijustwanttobeme · 24/02/2015 12:06

Assuming DS eats three meals a day every day, that means MIL gives him this (lacking in veg/ carb fest) for 1/21 meals a week......

Kewcumber · 24/02/2015 12:07

Or do I just leave it?

Depends if you want to look like a controlling loon over a portion of peas once a week.

AdoraBell · 24/02/2015 12:07

I would leave it tbh.

If he has no allergies that are being ignored then one meal a week that doesn't come up To our standard as the parent really isn't worth getting worked up over.

WorraLiberty · 24/02/2015 12:07

Poor little Prince

It must be such a difficult time for you OP Thanks xxxxxxxx

momb · 24/02/2015 12:07

It really isn't worth causing upset over. If she was having him every day it would be different, but once a week? Just make his lunch and supper that day as light and vegetable as possible to balance it out.

ILovePud · 24/02/2015 12:08

If it was me given that it's only once a week I wouldn't raise it but you know her best, how do you think she'd react, would it sour the relationship to any extent and is that a risk worth taking? What does your DH think about this?

Oldraver · 24/02/2015 12:08

Leave it its only once a week, we usually have a dinner like this, I think most people do at some point

Original poster
Tory79 · 24/02/2015 12:10

I know its only once a week, but it's every week!! I struggle to get ds to eat veg anyway, he'll pretty much only eat peas and raw carrot. I suppose I just want him to see it as a normal thing and not just something only mummy is always trying to get him to eat!

OP posts:
CrystalCove · 24/02/2015 12:10

Its not poison you know. What do you think is going to happen to your DS?

Feminine · 24/02/2015 12:11

Well...
I can't think of anything helpful nor silly to say.
I'd like to point out that it is just one meal though. :)

IHaveBrilloHair · 24/02/2015 12:15

Leave it, but perhaps do a big fruit salad for when he gets home on those nights.

Kewcumber · 24/02/2015 12:16

Grandparents don't want to "struggle" to get DC's to eat veg when they only have them once a week.

They want to do fluffy stuff and have DC's adore them and vice versa. They've done struggling with carrots.

Get her to offer a piece of fruit with pudding.

Lonecatwithkitten · 24/02/2015 12:17

I would leave it as you may have bigger issues.
My ExMIL believes that an 11 year old needs just a half round ham sandwich to get through from when they are picked up from school to the end of their after school activity at 9pm.

Jackie0 · 24/02/2015 12:17

It won't do him a button of harm, just leave it.
What's important here is your and your sons relationship with your mil.

Idontseeanysontarans · 24/02/2015 12:20

I would say leave it but if you want him to eat more veg anyway try roping Grandma into helping you out maybe?
A small strategic moan about how little veg he eats for you and could she help by serving a small portion of veg of some description? I know that my DC's would eat something for their Grandma that they refused at home when they were younger, maybe she'll find a vegetable that he'll willingly eat, even if it's only at hers Smile

Allstoppedup · 24/02/2015 12:21

My 14 month old stayed at his grandparents last week.

The crap he ate that I know about could fill the bathtub! I'll be honest I did inwardly cringe at the mentioning of some of it and I'm fairly laid back.

They do spoil him totally but I think it's just the deal with doting grandparents and its out job to make sure that they eat well and healthy the rest of the time. They and he are very happy with the arrangement and I don't think it's dangerous in moderation.

sparkysparkysparky · 24/02/2015 12:23

I'd let it lie for one night a week. I once had to have a quiet word about over reliance on processed meat and salami - what you describe doesnâ??t seem quite so bad for a once a week thing.

Figster · 24/02/2015 12:23

It's one day a week I wouldn't say anything if you want the arrangement to continue