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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect dh to understand why I get up later

112 replies

lostinegypt · 23/02/2015 02:35

I'm so fed up with dh right now. We have a 5 week old baby who I am breastfeeding and a 4 year old who wakes at least once a night. I see to ds the majority of the time but if he wakes up whilst I am feeding the baby I have to wake dh up to put him back to bed. dh is always grumpy about this. We have just had a row about this and i told dh 'ffs u have had to get up once im up loads' to which he replied 'yes and u make sure u wake everyone else up' this is bs as dh is happily snoring away when the baby or ds wake up! he denied this then said but you sleep all day so u can take ds to nursery tomorrow. I dont sleep all day!! i get out of bed at approx 10am and dont sleep again for the rest of the day. I am usually awake around 6/7am feeding the baby and sometimes get up to put the washing on and load/ unload the dishwasher but then go back to bed. aibu to think dh should get up with ds in the morning so I can have a lie in?

OP posts:
Brandnewattitude · 24/02/2015 16:51

You say you don't 'expect' him to work. Why the hell not?!

expatinscotland · 24/02/2015 17:00

A sperm donor would have been far less trouble.

realgonekid84 · 24/02/2015 17:03

If he is not working he should do bulk of childcare and housework. If he doesn't want tk do this thN he should get a job.

Fairylea · 24/02/2015 17:08

I'm sorry for you op. You must be very upset and angry given his latest outburst. He really has shown you who he is. You need to make it clear that you won't put up with this.

Figster · 24/02/2015 17:08

Jesus Op let him leave you'd be better off what a dick!!

mutternutter · 24/02/2015 18:54

Expats right

lostinegypt · 24/02/2015 20:19

well the row must have worked as when I came home all the ironing was done!

He doesn't work as with his old job he worked opposite hours to me (he was a chef). We never saw each other and couldnt go on holiday as we couldnt get time off together. If hr had the same job me and the kids wouldnt see him. Also as I earned more it made sense for dh to stay at home. Plus with my work I cant take or pick up my son grom nursery or school.

OP posts:
lostinegypt · 24/02/2015 20:19

well the row must have worked as when I came home all the ironing was done!

He doesn't work as with his old job he worked opposite hours to me (he was a chef). We never saw each other and couldnt go on holiday as we couldnt get time off together. If hr had the same job me and the kids wouldnt see him. Also as I earned more it made sense for dh to stay at home. Plus with my work I cant take or pick up my son grom nursery or school.

OP posts:
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 24/02/2015 20:29

Not seeing him sounds like a bonus right now.

I am sure there must be some other job he is qualified to do!

tallwivglasses · 24/02/2015 20:33

I give it a week, max. And that's being optimistic. Seriously OP, have a think about how you could manage the kids without him when you rtw.

Jackieharris · 24/02/2015 20:55

He could get a part time kitchen job.

What does he think other male chefs do when they have DCs?

NaughtyRed82 · 25/02/2015 04:03

So he did the ironing, but needs to be doing a hell of a lot more than that still! Sure he could of done plenty more off his own back while you were out. And you shouldn't have to nag him to get things done, he should just be helping out and doing things anyway and be happy doing so, keeping the house running, kids fed and his wife, you, happy which he isn't right now

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