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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to say DS can't go on holiday with his friends?

110 replies

turningvioletviolet · 22/02/2015 13:18

I'm ready to take this on the head if i really ABU....

DS (18) strolled into the kitchen last night and said he and a group of friends are thinking of going on holiday this summer, after A'levels.

To Magaluf.

Over. My. Dead. Body. I said.

I mean, i know IBU. But ugh. Magaluf?

OP posts:

bubalou · 22/02/2015 15:01

My mum had this worry about my brother a few years back when he was the same age.

She sorted out his passport. Bought him a hat, plenty of sun cream and condoms.

Somethimes it's best just to help them be safe and sensible rather then hold them back - especially when they are adults.

Brother was fine by the way and so will your DS.

iklboo · 22/02/2015 15:02

Red daisy they were somewhat she'll shocked & .

Mum's fault. She's a bugger for 'getting in' with people on holiday. Last one before Kavos she 'got in' with a Greek family who mentioned they had a bar & flats on Corfu. Invited folks over at the very start of the season, to stay in one of the flats. Mum jumped at the chance but failed to check details.

Neither parent drives overseas, can't walk far due to health reasons & didn't take a lot of spends. So they had to rely on bar owners for transport to town.

Bar owners obviously like to open at 'peak' time & stay open till everyone is passed out ready for bed. My folks usually go to bed at 10:30pm.

Alisvolatpropiis · 22/02/2015 15:08

If it makes you feel any better, my brother went to a simialr destination last year, after his A Levels.

No amount of teasing would dissuade him. He came back darkly proclaiming "it was a shit hole, full of disgusting people" and he won't ever be going again.

This summer he's going interrailing with some more like minded friends.

SpringTimeIsComing · 22/02/2015 15:09

Think yourself lucky it's just Shagaluf. My DS fucked off backpacking for 4 weeks to Thailand and Vietnam when he was 18. I never slept properly for 4 weeks. I was that mother at the airport telling him it wasn't too late to change his mind with tears streaming down my face. He got on the plane anyway but came back safe and sound having had a great time. It was 3 years later his pal blurted out (while drunk) the gut wrenching "funny parts" of the trip .

Annunziata · 22/02/2015 15:14

My DS went to Paris and got engaged, I thought I was traumatised by Zante but the idea of my baby being married :(

I was am a wreck when my babies go away without me. And DD was so kind to show me the edited selection of photos. Holy Mother of God I dread to think what the unedited ones were. They are printed on my soul, so they are.

Jackieharris · 22/02/2015 15:16

At least he told you!

I went off to a notorious resort without telling my parents.

They only found out when I phoned them asking for a money transfer after I was robbed and had no money or passport to get home!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 22/02/2015 15:19

he doesn't want to take in culture and history ... he wants to get so pissed he sicks up his own colon and shag a lot

Any tips for how I get the tea I just spat over my laptop out of it again??!!

Hakluyt · 22/02/2015 15:26

Lots of my Dd's friends went on holidays like those. If you ask any of them about it when they are alone they all hated it. Together? It was the best week ever..............

Shesparkles · 22/02/2015 15:29

He'll maybe bump into my dd and her pals who are all going there this summer!
She'll be just turned 18 too.

Yes I hate the idea
Yes I'd rather she was doing something "cultural"
No I can't stop her
No I wouldn't stop her

Yes I went away with my pals at 18 and spent a fortnight drunk

Original poster

turningvioletviolet · 22/02/2015 15:42

she sparkles in advance, just in case we become related through unfortunate circumstances this summer DS is a lovely young man who many people have said is a credit to dh and me he's just really lazy and his room is a pig sty and he's not working very hard for his exams

OP posts:

dejarderoncar · 22/02/2015 15:45

On a slightly more serious note (sorry!) but hopefully reassuring , the authorities in Magaluf are tightening up public order control considerably after all the bad publicity they received last season re. the encouragement of excess drinking and sexual shenanigans.

Roussette · 22/02/2015 15:47

ikiboo I nearly choked on my cuppa reading that your parents went to Kavos by mistake. Please please tell me what happened

My DCs have done all this especially the oldest one and I think her worst was a caravan park in Devon somewhere after either GCSE's or A levels. The caravan park was patrolled by drugged up bouncers with alsatians looking to get laid, someone who was off his head got his friends to tip my DD's mobile home completely on its side, it could have exploded! But she had a great time. Apparently.

Roussette · 22/02/2015 15:47

Ooops! Must just qualify. The alsations weren't looking to get laid. The bouncers were.

Roussette · 22/02/2015 15:49

I feel your pain Turning. He'll go away a boy, and come back a man

BuzzardBird · 22/02/2015 15:50

I went to 'Mega-rough' in my early twenties...it was a culture shock!

flipchart · 22/02/2015 15:52

I'm just bloody glad all my 18 year old DS wants is skiing holidays in Austria!

Original poster

turningvioletviolet · 22/02/2015 15:54

He went on a camping weekend in Wales with his friends last year. For 'reasons' they cleverly pitched their tent next to the river and then it rained and overflowed 5 x 6ft teen boys ended up sleeping the night on the floor of the disabled toilet (i know, i know). Best holiday ever allegedly.

OP posts:

specialsubject · 22/02/2015 15:55

These places do serve a purpose; making the rest of the planet a good spot for normal people to holiday in. I do feel for the locals who have to mop up the vomit and worse, but they don't live within earshot so can get away from the screaming.

so let him organise his own passport, and travel insurance; mostly they come back alive but the odd one does return in a body bag so remind him you don't want to pay for that. Also remind him that it doesn't pay out for drunks or drugs, and that with no cure for HIV a tattoo is a bad idea.

then leave him to stock up on condoms and arrange it. Do NOT pay for it.

strawberryangel · 22/02/2015 15:57

I agree with others...you can't (and shouldn't) stop him.

I'd like to say though...if he's doing a levels and holding down a job, and is able to save the money for a holiday, then he sounds sensible. You've raised a good 'en.

Original poster

turningvioletviolet · 22/02/2015 15:59

that's a lovely thing to say strawberry. Thank you. But then again, you don't have to live with him.

OP posts:

Shesparkles · 22/02/2015 16:00

turningvioletviolet

Ditto

I'll admit to being really nervous about it but just have to keep reminding myself that she's a good kid and has a decent set of values except when it comes to working for exams and bedroom tidying

pilates · 22/02/2015 16:07

Sorry, YABVU but I would feel the same as you. Put on a brave face and wave him off sweetly. I'm dreading it, mine is only 10 but I know it will come round really quick.

P.S. I went to Magaluf for my 18th.

ChaiseLounger · 22/02/2015 16:10

Of course he should go. You sound like a right fuddy-duddy.

EatShitDerek · 22/02/2015 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spanieleyes · 22/02/2015 16:14

My pfb son went to Saloufest when at uni and he went with the girl's rhythmic gymnastic team! He had a great time, spent most of it keeping the girls out of trouble and came home none the worse for it!

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