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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that you don't go out for dinner before going out for dinner?

134 replies

cremedecacao · 21/02/2015 16:18

It is my DHs birthday and I have booked a table of 8 at a new restaurant for tonight. Usual bunch of friends going. The restaurant serves 'small plates' for sharing- think posh(ish) tapas but not necessarily Spanish food.

Just met up with a couple who are coming and this was their exact response:

"I don't like anything at that restaurant, it looks like Waitrose threw up on it, so we are going for tapas before we join you at the restaurant for drinks. You are too posh for us!"

I found this really rude, especially as we are due at the restaurant in a few hours and they have only just told me they don't intend to eat. They actually invited another friend along (without asking first) who is also now not eating, so that means 3/8 of us will be hogging the table with just a drink. Can't see the restaurant being too happy about this!

a) AIBU to think that you should not go out to eat before someone else's birthday meal out, and sit at the table with just a drink (on a busy Saturday night)
b) AIBU to be offended by my friends reaction to MY choice of restaurant. I would never remark on someone else's choice of restaurant in that way! When we go to burger places I would never say "oh, I'm not coming, you are too common for me!"
c) AIBU to find it a little rude to invite a friend along to a small Birthday gathering when she has no idea who anyone else is?

Not a big deal, but would you find any of this odd behaviour?

OP posts:
ShipwreckedAndComatose · 21/02/2015 17:27

Or 'feeling a bit messed around here and confused about the booking. Would rather meet you later for a drink if you are not eating a full meal'

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 21/02/2015 17:33

Or holding's suggestion. I like the idea of bingo!!

cremedecacao · 21/02/2015 17:38

Yes Holding! Grin amazing!

OP posts:
HoldingtheFortress · 21/02/2015 17:39
ShipwreckedAndComatose · 21/02/2015 17:43

Can we have an update tomorrow because this has the potential to be hilarious!

Clutterbugsmum · 21/02/2015 17:45

Make sure to make them aware you will split the bill, so they don't order the cheapest thing then eat from everyone else's and the claim they only ordered 'xxx'.

diddl · 21/02/2015 17:48

She sounds horrible!

"It looks like Waitrose threw up" "you're too posh"

how about sorry, don't like that place, should we meet up when you've eaten?

as for inviting another friend...

Yarp · 21/02/2015 19:03

They are rude AND chippy

TwoOddSocks · 21/02/2015 19:07

YANBU it's rude. If I were them and hated that restaurant I'd just have a sandwich on the way there so I wouldn't be drunk after one glass of wine hungry then pretend to enjoy the tapas.

Whereisegg · 21/02/2015 19:15

You really need to tell her she can't bring her other victim bridesmaid to a strangers birthday meal.

When is the wedding? Can you arrange to be a live donor or something so that it clashes?
I suspect it would be less painful with a shorter recovery period.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 21/02/2015 19:24

is it just me but I am looking forward to the bridezilla threads from you crème

wowfudge · 21/02/2015 19:32

Bloody hell - they sound like hard work and selfish too. Make sure they are billed separately from the rest of you: I foresee a row about the bill, 'but we only had one plate each' while conveniently forgetting how much they had to drink....

HeisenbergsBlueMeth · 21/02/2015 19:46

How rude

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 21/02/2015 19:48

fivego I'll be booking my place on that thread!

cremedecacao · 21/02/2015 20:02

Oh! They LOVE to row about bills after a meal!! It is a bug-bear within our friendship group.

I'm off!! Will update you later!

OP posts:
chachachar · 21/02/2015 20:10

Argh! I need to know how this pans out..can you update from the toilets??

JenniferGovernment · 21/02/2015 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSchadenfreude · 21/02/2015 20:29

It is rude, yes, but are you paying for everyone or splitting the bill? If the latter, maybe they can't really afford it? Hence the comments about "posh".

ilovesooty · 21/02/2015 20:42

The OP says they are able to afford it. Even if they couldn't their rudeness is inexcusable.

meandjulio · 21/02/2015 20:55

Get the restaurant to run separate tabs for everyone? I do wonder if they are genuinely struggling financially and have no idea how to handle it gracefully?

Ludoole · 21/02/2015 21:15

Hope your dh has a great night whatever happens.
Please update when you can Smile

lomega · 21/02/2015 21:18

I'd be saying not to worry, don't bother if you can't be arsed to celebrate my birthday with me. YANBU, obviously!

riverboat1 · 21/02/2015 21:21

I hate small plates and tapas both, but regardless of that that text was unbelievably rude!

passthewineplz · 21/02/2015 21:45

Wish I was a fly on the wall right now! Buzzzzzzzz! Lol! Grin

cremedecacao · 22/02/2015 01:49

Update:

They came. Arrived before us and sat in the middle of the table so DH had to sit right at the end. They ate two small plates each. Most people had four but never mind.

Bill paying: she grabs the receipt from my hands and (I didn't hear this bit til we got home) decides that DH and his friend owe half the bill between them for ordering more wine than other people! DH pays £75 for us two and everyone else pays £23 each. Whaaaat?

Never mind. We had fun.

OP posts: