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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be utterly furious with the GP for putting my DSD on sedatives?

250 replies

goldenteapot · 20/02/2015 17:25

She is 16 and finding her GCSEs very stressful - but she is fine the rest of the time, and happy with her hobbies etc.

She sees her mother every other weekend (with whom she has a difficult relationship) and her mother has taken her to the GP about the stress, to see if he could advise about taking exams in a separate room etc. or refer her to CBT.

He has put her on sedatives, twice a day (beta blockers) with no end in sight.

She now thinks she is 'mentally ill' and needs daily sedation. I just want to cry. I hate being a step mother and having no control over this sort of thing. She is so young and vulnerable and I feel that this could be the start of her unravelling. She is spaced out - with no offer of counselling.

AIBU to be furious? What can I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
goldenteapot · 20/02/2015 18:55

Yes I know that she won't get a quick referral - we were hoping that she would get pushed this way, however. Her mother is very against 'counselling' and has been pressuring her not to do it - we were offering to pay.

OP posts:
Original poster
goldenteapot · 20/02/2015 18:57

P.S. I know they are sedatives but this is AIBU and obviously a snappy title helps....

OP posts:
flippinada · 20/02/2015 18:57

I think, at 16, your DSD is old enough to make the decision about what to take.

I understand that you are concerned but I wonder if this reaction is making your DSD feel worse? If her mother is being awful and calling her names while at the same time you and her dad are going off on one about her being on medication and how awful it is, then that is not going to help.

Also agree that any referral to therapy on the NHS is, realistically, going to take a long time and probably won't be within a suitable timeframe to help with her exams so if this helps her then surely it's a positive thing?

diddl · 20/02/2015 18:57

It must be hard for her, trying to please everyone.

Perhaps she needs permission to do what she wants!

Pagwatch · 20/02/2015 19:00

To be honest I think you need to leave it alone.

Your attitude towards 'mental illness' sounds incredibly negative. The medication won't hurt her and, in the absence of any cut or other therapy, it's better she has something to help her stress.

Between her mother calling her weird and your hand wringing 'the end is nigh' reaction she must be all over the place.

Original poster
goldenteapot · 20/02/2015 19:01

I think her decision was NOT to take medication but her mum and the GP have pushed her this way.

She knows my views on medication as my views are in teh public domain - I have just spoken to her about how they work, about looking into it herself and deciding whether to take them or not and thinking about how they are affecting her body when she is taking them - and also encouraging her again to look into talking therapies/CBT.

I have only been hysterical on MN.

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 20/02/2015 19:01

cbt not cut.

Pagwatch · 20/02/2015 19:02

Boggles at 'my views are in the public domain'

Tom Cruise?

Kittymautz · 20/02/2015 19:04

Propanalol isn't a sedative, but it isn't right for everyone, it can have side effects which might be affecting your DSD.

I took Propanalol for a few months (for migraines, but it had no effect on migraines so I came off it). I had terrible nightmares on them, I mean really lucid, horrible, realistic scary dreams, so much so that I used to dread going to sleep. I was also really sluggish in the morning, it was so so hard to wake up, and it took a while after getting up before I felt properly awake. Of course not everyone will get these side effects, but they are known side effects for some.

Now I only took the Propanalol at night, but if your DSD is taking them in the day time, then she could be having side effects that are making her feel groggy in the day.

googoodolly · 20/02/2015 19:05

This whole thread is odd.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 20/02/2015 19:05

I didn't think propranalol caused sedative effects or tiredness... I'm on 160mg a day for migraines and have never had tiredness from them. It isnt heavy medication and it isnt addictive that im aware of.

her mum definitely isn't helping by calling her weird though.

Original poster
goldenteapot · 20/02/2015 19:06

am not Tom Cruise :)

have written and talked about it as ex-service user

OP posts:
Original poster
goldenteapot · 20/02/2015 19:08

TBH she probably DOESN'T know my views as she only reads Tumblr...

OP posts:
LineRunner · 20/02/2015 19:09

Different people have different or no side effects with any medication, I suppose.

Original poster
goldenteapot · 20/02/2015 19:09

Propranolol made me faint a lot

I thought it was cool though like a Victorian Lady

She says she is exhausted and spaced out and I have no reason to doubt her

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 20/02/2015 19:09

Well if you have written and spoken about medication in an immensely negative way, I would imagine that you would be the very last person to whom she would admit that she wanted to take the prescription.

But you and her mum should continue to tug of war over her mental health. I'm sure it will help her stress levels enormously

Pagwatch · 20/02/2015 19:11

"She knows my views on medication as my views are in teh public domain -"

"TBH she probably DOESN'T know my views as she only reads Tumblr..."

Okay.

RestingFuckFace · 20/02/2015 19:12

Beta blockers are excellent for exam stress and aren't sedative at all. Hmm

I don't think you are helping the situation with your hysteria whatsoeve.

Seriously, what the fuck? Hmm

Pishedorf · 20/02/2015 19:14

You were not in the consult. How do you know the GP pushed her into having the script? Probably her mum pushed her in to it.

Let your DH take her for a review in a week or two and stop posting hysterical misleading titles on your threads. People may have given you some advice and helped to calm you down. Perhaps post in mental health too? You sound like a lovely stepmum and clearly care for your DSD, so please try to not let your prev experience cloud this Flowers

Notrevealingmyidentity · 20/02/2015 19:14

Have thought that maybe she did want it but was going along with your views so as not to cause issues ?

Original poster
goldenteapot · 20/02/2015 19:15

Most of her conversations have been with her dad. We've never really spoken about it much until today.

Obviously IRL I am not being this hysterical.

I work with a lot of psychotherapists and they are all very negative about medication - and my own experience is dire. But I appreciate that IABU and your points have helped talk me down... so thank you.

OP posts:
gobbynorthernbird · 20/02/2015 19:15

If she lives with you and she doesn't want to take the medication, why the bloody hell is she taking it?

gamerchick · 20/02/2015 19:15

Maybe but you're talking about your stepdaughter in the language of getting one up on her mother.

That beta blocker takes away the physical effects of anxiety. That's it!

When I take a pill I just want it to piss off. I don't want to take the time to talk it out with some fucker.

The only drug that affected me in the way that's being described in this thread was amitriptyline which was given to me to go hand in hand with the beta blocker.

Is she telling you the truth I wonder.

GoadyGeisha · 20/02/2015 19:18

TBH she probably DOESN'T know my views as she only reads Tumblr...

Oh I think she is probably very aware of your views about medication, I doubt you were neutral when discussing "how they are affecting" her body.

Again, why don't you pay for private therapy/CBT for her if this is what she wants?

but this is AIBU and obviously a snappy title helps....

Yes, you'll find that deliberate misrepresentation of the truth gets a fair few responses on AIBU

anewyear · 20/02/2015 19:19

I have not read all the thread, But seriously at '16 they are not a child'
Dont get that statement at all?
Could someone please enlighten me please.