to be utterly furious with the GP for putting my DSD on sedatives?

[goldenteapot]

She is 16 and finding her GCSEs very stressful - but she is fine the rest of the time, and happy with her hobbies etc.

She sees her mother every other weekend (with whom she has a difficult relationship) and her mother has taken her to the GP about the stress, to see if he could advise about taking exams in a separate room etc. or refer her to CBT.

He has put her on sedatives, twice a day (beta blockers) with no end in sight.

She now thinks she is 'mentally ill' and needs daily sedation. I just want to cry. I hate being a step mother and having no control over this sort of thing. She is so young and vulnerable and I feel that this could be the start of her unravelling. She is spaced out - with no offer of counselling.

AIBU to be furious? What can I do?

DD2 takes beta blockers (by the sound of it the same) for cluster migraines. She's 11yo, and started them when she was 10yo.
The first week she was so drowsy, I thought she'd have to come off them as she couldn't stay awake. By the end of the second week, she was coping, and now we're back to the usual sound of "go to sleep" and her getting up with a bounce.
And even better she now rarely gets migraines. Last year we'd have periods of 2-3 weeks where she was getting migraines up to twice a day.

And I'm not sure why taking exams in a smaller room would help, I'm not sure the GP would see that either, unless there was a very specific reason.
Personally I found taking exams in smaller rooms much more stressful, because I felt more exposed. I'd have thought if that was her aim, then talking to the school would be much more productive. They could choose to put her in a separate room if they liked-I know a situation where a candidate was for a non-medical reason, but the school knew it could help them, so was prepared to do that.

OP - your step-daughter could be receiving CBT next week if you are prepared to pay for a private therapist.

If this is what she wants and you are sure that it is better for her than bb's then find a local therapist and book her an appointment.

Hanging around waiting for therapy on the NHS is not going to help her so why not be proactive and get her the help you/she feels she needs. Yes it will be expensive and you may need to cut back in other areas but if you think it's the way forward then do it.

How would going to a GP sort out a seperate room solution? Speak to the school ffs!

Sorry but anxiety about things that can be avoided/are very very temporary - is not, in my mind, 'Mental illness'.

Errr. I would say that any anxiety which means you have to make lifestyle changes to accommodate it - whether that's walking up twenty flights of stairs to avoid getting into a lift, or insisting on separate room exam conditions, or not being there when your children require injections - is not "life" and is definitely mental illness. Temporary or not.

It's no different to having a plaster cast for a temporary leg break which will heal.

However having read your posts further it looks like you've done some kind of project management role and now admin. So actually no work "in the field", but seemingly a lot of opinion.

She's at GCSE level.

Next year she will start A levels. The stress level ramps up considerably.

Then she will be sitting her exams again. Stress will rise further.

And then we have Uni. Even level headed, no nonsense DD1 struggled with the stress of A levels, and Uni.

Op the more you write on here the more I think you have to step back. It really does have nothing to do with you really does it. Your Sd is 16, old enough to deal with her own medical problems and needs and if not then really her dad and mother should be handling it. Usually I agree with sm being more involved completely but not at 16 years of age and not how you come across, as if you are projecting your own views and feelings on this girl and she should be able to make her own mind up.

If her father is concerned about her at school then he could perhaps set up a meeting with her HOY

"Her dad and mother should be handling it"

Yes like I say - I'm well aware of my"place"

My parents reacted pretty much the same. Until I rang them and said I would rather drive into a wall than have another panic attack. Funnily they stopped nagging me about "being careful" and "stigma of mental health"
I was on beta blockers, I've had CBT. Both helped. Am now on citalopram as a longer term help
Yes, things like exercise and counselling help and working through things but people need short term immediate help too and that's what the beta blockers can do. I took them as and when I needed them and had no issues coming off them

I don't think anyone has a problem with receptionists. Except when they pretend to know more than doctors.

I HAVE had panic attacks: I was in a MH hospital 20 years ago. I have had the police called for me when I hve suffered them and thought I was dying. I do get it. I DONT think it's something terrible and that you instantly medicate.

I think justifying my own 'credentials' is inappropriate though tbh.

OP if you are Band 7 then you are on a minimum of £30k so put your hand in your pocket and pay for a private therapist.

She knows my views on medication as my views are in teh public domain

Thought so, she only doesn't want drugs because YOU have pushed your opinion of them, on her! She probably thinks that all drugs are the route to hell & if & when she needs more help (i.e should she ever suffer with PND) she will refuse the meds can help her get better because YOU have pushed & pushed & pushed your agenda on medication.

That's a dangerous thing to do to a 16yr old girl, to be fair op!

Hi OP, I am sorry to see the hostile reaction you are getting on this thread. I don't think you are coming across as hysterical at all. I think you are probably getting this reaction partly because your a step-parent (I've seen this here before, and people being advised to post in the step-parent section instead).

It is interesting that some people are accusing the OP of projecting her experience on her step-daughter, and then proceeding to do the same themselves. Why should the OP's experience be any less valid than anyone else's? Surely it should give one pause for thought. And the OP at least knows the step-daughter and surely people can accept that MAYBE she might have more knowledge of the step-daughter and her life circumstances than the rest of us.

Just because some people had little or no side-effects from certain medications doesn't mean everyone will have no side effects. I was on beta-blockers for a physical health problem and I stopped them because of side effects. It was a good few years ago but as far as I can remember I felt groggy/lethargic on them. I got to switch to a different type but similar tablet, Procoralan, that had the effect of reducing heart-rate without causing the drowsiness for me (though people can get side effects from this one as well).

Personally I don't think that having a normal reaction to a very stressful abnormal situation (if the OP is correct about her mother) is an illness that needs medicating. The mother sounds like the one with the problem (again assuming the OP has read the situation correctly) that needs tackling. However medication might help reduce stress levels in certain situations if the offending situation cannot be avoided for now. It is thought that a lot of medications for mental health problems help by dampening down the person's emotions and stress levels, rather than by treating a disease, e.g. Dr Peter Breggin

There is another video with his testimony to congress

Medicating health problems can be problematic no matter what the condition because of side-effects, but it might be worse in the mental health field where they are giving medication without proper justifiable evidence of what they are treating, or testing for physical abnormalities before medicating (e.g. giving anti-depressants to a depressed person without testing Seretonin levels, or doing before and after tests. Some depressed people will have high serotonin so probably should not be given SSRI's. Apparently there is some evidence that anti-depressants will trigger biopolar in some). Medicating young people is more problematic than medicating adults as they are still developing. The fact that the GP was considering valium initially wouldn't fill me with confidence in their judgement.

People who question medication as a first step in treating mental health problems are not anti-people-with-mental-health-problems, they in fact are just questioning the dominant paradigm. There are plenty of mental health professionals and others who have researched it who worry about children/adults with mental health problems being over/incorrectly medicated. I am not a fan of CBT either as I think it is oversold by some high-ranking professionals in the field, and unfortunately a lot of them sell their own particular brand of bullshit (there is no escape!) .

Sorry but it's not really your business. Especially.as.it seems to come from you not approving of medicine. If you want to help surely not transferring your own neurosis on to her is better than undermining her ability to choose for herself.

She knows my views on medication as my views are in teh public domain - I have just spoken to her about how they work,

TBH she probably DOESN'T know my views as she only reads Tumblr.

Which is it, op?

She is under pressure from you to live drug free, because you do. Refusing meds when you know they can help you is shortsighted.

And regardless of her want to see her mother, if she really is being beaten every time they see each other, your dh needs to grow a pair, and involve the police. Or do you think assault is OK, as she is only 16 & it's her mother?

You are enabling her mother to beat her...that is probably why the poor kids is so stressed & tired. Her mother beats her, her father allows it.

Seriously, have a fucking word with yourself. Her taking a mild drug is nothing compared with the weekly assaults you are all colluding in!

The stress over her GCSEs are the least of her worries, honestly!

Mrs D What a failure I am. - the only failure here is the op & her dh! They let this child go off to her mothers for a beating on a regular basis and DO NOTHING!!

i think the fact that you came on here and you are genuinely concerned for this step dd shows what a good parent you are to her. Seriously? A good parent doesn't let a child go off to get beaten every week. To be honest, I am surprised there is so little outrage about that, considering the vitriol towards three adults who killed a 7yr old, on a MN thread recently. Or is that because the child here is 16?

and for those who doubt it, that's what parenting actually is No, this isn't parenting. parenting isn't letting your dd get beaten by an adult. Every weekend.

As I say, IF SHE WAS MINE I would have involved them. So how fart does her mother have to go before YOU decide that this girl needs protecting? Does she need to end up in hospital? Dead? Because if I knew this about a child I claimed to care about, SS/police would be on speed dial!

You are all massively failing this girl, It is clear to see that the GCSEs are a minor problem here. To be fair op, she isn't going to do well in her GCSEs while her mother is beating her!

Sorry but it's not really your business It certainly is her buiness, because I would suggest that the main stress in this poor girls life is her mother regularly beating her, & the GCSEs are secondary to that. Either that the poor kid is SO petrified of how her mother will react if she doesn't get good grades, that that is where the anxiety is coming from!

Not one of the adults involved with this girl are coming off well on this thread!

Certainly can't argue with that.

I think it is reasonable to question whether medication as a first response is the right course for OPs DSD's anxiety. However this is presenting as hysterical overreaction, misrepresenting beta blockers as sedatives, and blame of the situation on the DSDs mother.

OP you said that you DSD has mainly Only spoken to her father about how she feels. So perhaps there is more going on. Also I am a bit confused - you say she is perfectly fine and happy and you see no evidence of the issues the mother claims are there, but then that you know she is suffering exam related anxiety.

If her ONLY issue is exam nerves then beta blockers are a reasonable strategy - counselling and talking therapies are not likely to be offered if it is a short term issue. When I was first prescribed beta blockers, the GP who did so talked me through the reasoning and purpose at some length, they are commonly prescribed for people who are taking driving tests or other stressful situations and are taken by snooker players too apparently! And it is about controlling the physical symptoms of anxiety and breaking the cycle of anxiety / panic.

Do you know why the GP changed within the consultation from diazepam to beta blockers?

Royal College of Psychiatrists guidelines here for anxiety

information on anxiety for young people

useful website - Calm for kids

hercomesthefun thank you for posting those links - I've learnt that I'm globophobic!

I know I've mentioned this several times but I'm very sceptical about this prescription. First of all it was indefinitely and twice a day for six months. As a service user myself who has been prescibed anti anxiety medication and beta blocjers, this just doens't ring true.

With the caveat that I'm not a MHP, I don't believe any clinician would prescribe meds of this nature to a sixteen year old, who has never taken anything before, for 6 months straight - it's just not accepted practice (as per the RCPysch guidelines).

If the GP did do this it needs to be flagged up and raised with the relevant bodies, as it's inappropriate, to say the least.

I do think it's extremely odd that someone who says they are aware of mental health issues and has a professional interest in the area would not be aware of this.

Apologies for typos. I haven't had my morning coffee yet :)

So according to the OP, this was medication prescribed indefinitely, then for 6 months....

Op you were not in the consultation were you? Maybe your DSD was asking for help to cope with being under your roof? You don't know, you only know what you've been told. You are getting very worked up over all this when you have very little first hand info.