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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want my 3rd child to be referred to as my second, because the second died

109 replies

redandwhitetoadstool · 19/02/2015 08:44

my dc3 keeps being called my 2nd

keep getting comments like when its your second xyz

comments like oh yeah the second doesn get more ill because they are exposed to more germs etc

I think its well ment and not ment to harm but painful

I honestly don't know if im being over sensitive about this

but our second child died shortly after being born, on the same day
so will always to us be our second
but of course we never actually had the chance to parent our second child

to other people, I get that it seemed a bit to them like that child never existed
but this is actually my mother that keeps doing this and it keeps really upsetting me Sad Sad

OP posts:
redandwhitetoadstool · 20/02/2015 03:48

Thanks for reading the entire thread
Tbh i actually don't know what to think right now
All i do know is these comments set me right back for days
And affect me really badly
And i need to protect myself

OP posts:
FishWithABicycle · 20/02/2015 06:15

YANBU and I'm glad you managed to speak clearly about it. So sorry for your loss.

I think what a pp said above "never attribute to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity" applies, and also that it's a generational thing - up till really very recently miscarriages, stillbirth and neonatal death were hardly acknowledged or talked about, and nobody bought gifts for a newborn until he or she was safe home and healthy as a legacy of the years when vast numbers of babies died. Your mum is coming to this from an entirely different cultural perspective from you. No excuse for her insensitivity obviously but I don't think it's lack of care or love. I hope now you've spoken more clearly she can adjust her perspective and start being more sensitive.

momdirection · 20/02/2015 07:25

OP I admire you hugely for making that phone call to your mum - I can only imagine how nervous, wound up and desperate for her to say the right thing you were feeling. I'm glad that call and this thread has helped in some small way to alleviate your feelings.

I am actually crying here reading all the stories of loss.

I hope that all posters on here who have lost children in whatever circumstances know that there are many, many people who care very deeply, who shed tears for you and your lost little ones, who listen carefully to how you want us to respond and not to respond.

Mumsnet has taught me an awful lot on this subject and for this I'm so grateful to the posters who share their experiences and feelings on this terrible subject Thanks

Crocodopolis · 20/02/2015 10:40

I am so sorry for your loss.

YANBU, but I fear that your mother is not going to change what she says.

worksallhours · 20/02/2015 12:59

I think this is a very difficult situation and you have my empathy and understanding, op.

I am in somewhat of a similar situation because my first child was a prem stillborn, so the child I currently carry will always seem to me and DH as our second child, but to the outside world, he or she will always appear to be the first.

The difficulty is that whenever anyone asks you how many children you have, this issue is always going to arise. The question, which is fairly commonplace, is always going to be a trigger for you. My advice would be to decide how you are going to manage it now and for the future.

One of the things to consider here is how much you want to tell other people. I, personally, feel that our experience with our first baby is a very private matter and not for public consumption, so do not want to invite questions by saying our second baby is our second, which then may lead to enquiries about the first.

More pertinent for your circumstances, I also do not want to give myself further upset in additional to the memories and pain if a close family member refers to my second as my first. To this end, I am going to let this sort of thing go -- even if my mother or MIL does it.

Whenever anyone refers your children and "numbers" or birth order, it will always cause pain for you by conjuring up memories of your second child, regardless of whether they refer to your third child as your third or your second. The question you need to answer is the extent to which you wish to provoke further pain and sadness for yourself on top of the pain of those memories by getting upset about their mistaken comments about birth order.

When it comes to the loss of a child, we need to protect ourselves. It is such an enormous pain, and one that will never truly ease; it is a pain that tattoos your soul. And it is a pain so unfathomable, so fundamental, that I think we need to take care not to inflame the wound further by reacting to what other people say.

var123 · 20/02/2015 14:47

OP I am truly sorry for your loss. I've witnessed the impact of infant death and stillbirth twice in close family. I could see the pain and helplessness both parents suffered.

It perhaps doesn't seem relevant when you are in such pain but the pain is also felt by the extended families too. We lose a niece or nephew or grandchild too. Also we grieve for the parents. So its a tough time all round.

The wound has never healed over for DB and SIL. I think they still tell everyone who asks they had 3 children but one died, even the lady behind them in the queue at the supermarket who asked if DN was SILs oldest child.

I understand where SIL is coming from. Sometimes though I think people are only making conversation or are hoping she'll reciprocate with the same question.

SamiBE · 20/02/2015 15:46

That's so insensitive of your mother Sad
So sorry for the loss of your dc Flowers Flowers

Royalsighness · 20/02/2015 15:50

YANBU and I am so so sorry x

OwlinaTree · 20/02/2015 15:59

Sorry you are going through this op. I hope you and your mother can make peace soon.

kitchentable your post nearly made me cry. I'm so glad you have a family now. Flowers

Someone said to me when I was pg with my son after loosing my daughter at 3 days old 'put your feet up this Christmas, you won't get a chance next year'. 'Well, I would rather be watching my 16 month old opening her presents but don't let that stop you commenting.' Is what I wish I'd said. Of course I said nothing. Person didn't mean to be unkind, but meh. Not a close person but they knew.

But had a close family member said that I'd have been so upset. I really feel for you op, as a pp said you need to feel people are with you on this one.

It is hard acknowledging a loss at times. Loads of people ask if my son is my first. Yes he's my only one at the moment I say.

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