to wonder if 4 DC is much more expensive than 3 DC?

[Rabbishes]

I have three DC, eldest is 5yo and youngest is 11mo. I thought we were done at three DC and agreed before even TTC that DC3 would be our last but within two months of the birth I knew I didn't feel like I'd finished and this feeling is growing. DH is on the fence, he had talked about getting a vasectomy but decided not to because he didn't want to close that door permanently. Some days he is broody for another, other days he definitely isn't. Either way, we're not considering it seriously until DC3 is at least 18mo.

We have a three bed house but two of the bedrooms are quite big so no matter which sex we had there are options there. If we end up with three DC of one sex they can share the biggest room, if we ended up with two of each sex then two DC in each of the big bedrooms and DH and I will have the smallest bedroom. We have lots of space downstairs too including a playroom, dining room, and a front and back garden so we don't really feel like we're on top of each other IYSWIM.

I am self-employed working from home (childminder) and pay NI so would qualify for maternity allowance, DH is working FT but home every night and off weekends. He is very hands on with the DC and does more than his fair share around the house.

I already have cot/pram/baby stuff and in the loft there are two giant suitcases full of boys/girls/unisex baby clothes so there'd be very little to buy to begin with. Plus my friends and I all have DC of consecutive ages so tend to hand lots of things down, pass things around, and lend each other stuff, we also do mutual babysitting and help each other out with things like school pick ups if one of us is poorly. My parents like to help out too and live locally so we have lots of support.

AIBU to be considering one more? Are four much more expensive than three? I got lots of, mostly negative, comments when pregnant with DC3 along the lines of why did we want one more, was it an accident, we already have one of each why bother with another, and so on. I dread to think what sort of comments we'd get about a fourth! I'm one of four though and four seems right to me, we clubbed together but we also had a 'partner' as we tended to pair up, us older two were at the same school and we're close in age so clubbed together while the younger two did the same.

Yes they are proportionally more expensive. Just wait until you are buying school shoes and lunches!

I'm already buying school shoes for two - school shoes, PE shoes, wellies, out of school shoes - plus uniform and packed lunch for them too, plus shoes for the baby already :)

Most family cars can cope with 5 people, but if you have 4 children, you have no option but to get a bigger vehicle or leave someone behind.

3 when they get older and so much more expensive when they are little, we have 1 teen and 2 that are at later stages of primary school. The costs associated with their upbringing increase each year.

We get away with a new ford fiesta as a family car, another child would mean a 7 seat car, we have a large 3 bed house but we are bursting at the seams now, holidays are a massive expense. The more children you have the more per child it costs in my experience.

Yes, although not yet, unless you need to pay childcare. You're not really at the most expensive stages, besides baby equipment, with any of your children.

Do you have a 6 seater + car?
Do you go on holiday? You would now need 2 hotels room or stay in suites as most hotels have a room limit of 5.
Once they get to school, kids develop their own interests. All of which cost money.
4 lots of teenagers, driving lessons, uni fees.

We have 4 and I wouldn't change it for anything, but please don't underestimate how much a 4th costs, long term. It's definitely worth questioning whether or not having a 4th is worth the sacrifice that will go towards the childhood of the 3 you have, unless you have the potential to earn a high salary. For us, it was but it's not for everybody, in the same way that many people don't go over having 2 children.

And, I know lots of people do it, but I wouldn't have ever choose to have 3 kids sharing a room. It's all very well when they're small, but 3 teens sharing a room? I get a headache just thinking about it!

We have four.apart from needing a people carrier the extra cost is not so bad when they are little .Now they are aged between uni and ten, money is a constant worry

Also won't your own DC fill up your child minding ratios?

We had 5 DCs, 4 boys and a girl, spread over 16 years. We had a three bedroom house, and bought a VW Sharan people carrier when our youngest was on his way.
At one point, our pfb's fiancee came to live with us too, so there were 2 adults, 3 teenagers, and 3 "littles" in the house, and we managed.
Admittedly, our housing costs were low comparatively, we live in the NE, but we managed with DH earning just under £1000 a month and tax credits, while I am a SAHM.
If you want to do it, you will manage to do it. It's all down to what you prefer - if we'd wanted holidays abroad or in the lap of luxury so to speak, or a new car rather than second hand, and all the latest gadgets, we couldn't have afforded them. We cut our cloth accordingly a my Nanna used to say
I'm not sure how we'd have done if the children had been 5 close together in age, but we had three under 5 at one point, and did just fine, because we were in it together and it was what DH and I both wanted.

About the holidays, we either go camping, or rent a cottage that sleeps 6-8. It's not as expensive as you might think, and we have had lovely times, even when we had the 3 teens in tow!

Are you me??? I could have written your OP a year ago, even down to the house and parents being both local and helpful. DC4 is now 5 weeks old.

DH and I looked into the financial implications very seriously before TTC and yes, it is more expensive, for all the reasons LikeABad listed way better than I could have done. But once we knew that we could make an informed decision and decided that for us, for our family, 4 DC was right.

Do brace yourself for the comments from others though. I got very down about some of the remarks I got. Everything from laughter, to open mouthed shock, constant "was it planned" and my delightful BIL asking if we were going to keep it. Just ignore and do what is right for you.

When they get older and no longer need the playroom for toys, art things, ride ons, etc we would.turn it into an additional bedroom, albeit downstairs (so would probably become our room).

We don't have any childcare costs as I'm a childminder so I'm at home full time, as the children get older there is scope to expand my ratios which would increase my income (as each of my children turn 8 they no longer count towards my ratios).

I don't drive at the moment but I'm learning and we'd be getting a seven seater anyway for the extra space.

We do go on holiday, mainly in the UK but next year we're hiring a villa in Spain for two weeks. Our last UK holiday was to Butlins and the accomdation slept six (gold apartment) even though we'd only paid for four. The villa we've hired also sleeps six so bigger accomdation is out there. I'm not underestimating the cost, I just don't see it as being impossible to holiday? We don't really do hotels anyway.

The three children I mind at the minute are aged between 8 and 10, I do wrap around care in term time and have one mindee full time in school holidays (other two go to grandparents in holidays to save costs).

It doesn't mean no holdays, no! That's not what I meant.

But, please don't head into it blindly without taking some regard for the very big financial implication in the future. It's true that you cut your cloth accordingly. We're lucky enough to be financially well off so have a pretty big cloth to play with, but once you're looking at the biggest individual costs of parenting, from ages 10 onwards, even the biggest cloth can start to look small when you also need to be planning your own financial futures, post kids, too.

Four children will cost more than three children, but if you can comfortably afford three then you can afford four. Stuff like holidays, uni fees, activities etc. are all optional. You just have to split the available money four ways instead of three. For some people the second/third/fourth child is worth the financial sacrifice, other people would rather split the holidays/activities budget by fewer people. It's just about what you want really.

If you are struggling to provide for three though, then a fourth will tip you over the edge. It is a noticeable difference.

I hope I didn't come across as snark, you've certainly given me food for thought :)

We went to a museum today and my middle DC wanted a souvenir, this fluffy little bird thing (she likes to mother fluffy little things), it was £7. The baby didn't want anything and eldest DC misbehaved so wasn't allowed anything. I made a comment to DH that if all three had wanted something and we spent roughly the same on each we'd have spent £21. He remarked back that if we'd had another it would have been £28 (and if my mindee didn't bring their own money it would be been £36!).

I think putting it in those terms does help.

Watching this thread with interest we have two boys and decided to have another which turned out to be identical twins. Similar position to you in that we have a three bed so it'll always be 2 and 2 sharing. We do have a big playroom downstairs so I assume that'll grow to be more of a teenage chill out space. Ours will be close in age so I'll have 4 under 5 (eeek).

Although the twins aren't here yet biggest costs we've encountered is a seven seater, it'll cost a bit more to maintain and insure than our old car. I suspect I won't be going on holiday for quite some time but I've done lots of travelling and wasn't planning on going abroad till the dc were much older anyway.

I think the real cost of children becomes evident as they approach high school. I am forever forking out money for them. School dinners, shoes, clothes, activities, sports kits and as you say when you go out its five pounds each for a treat on top of entrance costs to attractions and snacks etc. My 18 month old costs me nothing except nappies pretty much. I do playgroup and swimming lessons with her but could easily skip that if money was tight. When you have a little (or big !) face looking up at you saying they need something for school or a sport it is very hard to say no!!!! When they get to age 8 or so they want to choose their own clothes, their furniture etc becomes more expensive ( a cot and pram are peanuts compared to kitting out a child with a decent bed, drawers and desk) and so on. I do everything as cheap as possible and was the queen of free activities and packed picnics when they were small but as they grow older that simply doesn't cut it in quite the same way. Sad but true....

One of my friends planned 4..and got twins so now has 5...

I love the word, snark!

Obviously a big car is a big extra expense but lots of things care based on 4 ( 2 adults and 2 children) so you are already over the 4 most holidays are either sleeps 4 or 6 not many things are 5 apart from seats in standard car.
I think 4 children obviously cost more than 3 but not 4 times the cost of 1

Regarding spending money it could change from 3 x £7 to 4 x £5 or 6

Oh but think of the fun.

Do it op-I'll bet it's one of those situations where you'll never regret going for a fourth, but may regret if you don't. Money, schmoney-you know you want to!

OP your kids are young yet, they do get more expensive as they grow.

Extra curricular classes are great for kids but can be expensive, as are school trips, uniforms, and clothes, especially when they are teenagers.
Add to the mix mobile phones, ipads, lap tops, x boxes, football gear, dance shoes, swimming lessons, driving lessons, University fees.
Feeding them is the cheap part.

We had 3 boys in rapid succession followed by a surprise which turned out to be a girl.

We had comments about having 4. Because of already having the boys we had a few comments from people who thought we had kept trying for a girl!

It does obviously cost more, all the reasons given above by posters. We had gone down the 7 seater route before DS3 arrived as we were driving both grandmas around too. So we had already faced that hit. We didn't have any specifically girl stuff though.

So many things do seem to be geared up towards families of 4 and having an extra one, two, three or whatever does push up,the cost disproportionately.

I would say though that, despite the extra costs, having the even number does help with the pairing up as mentioned by a previous poster.