to wonder if 4 DC is much more expensive than 3 DC?

[Rabbishes]

I have three DC, eldest is 5yo and youngest is 11mo. I thought we were done at three DC and agreed before even TTC that DC3 would be our last but within two months of the birth I knew I didn't feel like I'd finished and this feeling is growing. DH is on the fence, he had talked about getting a vasectomy but decided not to because he didn't want to close that door permanently. Some days he is broody for another, other days he definitely isn't. Either way, we're not considering it seriously until DC3 is at least 18mo.

We have a three bed house but two of the bedrooms are quite big so no matter which sex we had there are options there. If we end up with three DC of one sex they can share the biggest room, if we ended up with two of each sex then two DC in each of the big bedrooms and DH and I will have the smallest bedroom. We have lots of space downstairs too including a playroom, dining room, and a front and back garden so we don't really feel like we're on top of each other IYSWIM.

I am self-employed working from home (childminder) and pay NI so would qualify for maternity allowance, DH is working FT but home every night and off weekends. He is very hands on with the DC and does more than his fair share around the house.

I already have cot/pram/baby stuff and in the loft there are two giant suitcases full of boys/girls/unisex baby clothes so there'd be very little to buy to begin with. Plus my friends and I all have DC of consecutive ages so tend to hand lots of things down, pass things around, and lend each other stuff, we also do mutual babysitting and help each other out with things like school pick ups if one of us is poorly. My parents like to help out too and live locally so we have lots of support.

AIBU to be considering one more? Are four much more expensive than three? I got lots of, mostly negative, comments when pregnant with DC3 along the lines of why did we want one more, was it an accident, we already have one of each why bother with another, and so on. I dread to think what sort of comments we'd get about a fourth! I'm one of four though and four seems right to me, we clubbed together but we also had a 'partner' as we tended to pair up, us older two were at the same school and we're close in age so clubbed together while the younger two did the same.

I have 4 - 8, 6, 4 and 3. Three are now at school, and dc4 hasn't cost us much So far. We go camping in euro for holidays, clothes get handed down. For some strange reason it is a badge of honour for ours when an item gets handed down as it means they are 'bigger'. I don't know how much longer that will last for!

However, dc3 is just coming up for music lessons and gymnastics lessons, and she occasionally has after-school club. I'm aware of much the costs will escalate, and we still have dc4 to start clubs too (she does do swimming)!

But they do tend to pair off nicely as well, and can all play nicely together (and fight, of course!). We can afford them. I economise by buying clothes and boots etc in the sales for the year ahead. But I realise as they become teenagers, it'll be where we start really spending money. Up until now though, they are actually cheaper than I anticipated!

Oh, I could actually spend more I'd I wished, to go to the cinema would cost all of us between £40-50. For all of us to go to kids club, where the new releases are a term behind, it costs us a tenner for 6. I guess I compare that to how much it would have cost dh and I to go out before kids, and it makes it seem cheaper than I anticipated, if that makes sense...

I find it a lot cheaper having 3 children, than no children as well. Part of that, for me, is I know all the cheap deals now.

We spend 1k altogether which is for the mortgage, council tax, water, life and house insurance, 2 smart phone contracts, sky, netflix, AA, electric and gas, tv licence, and insuring both our cars. We then save the rest for the children, or use for holidays/disposable income.

We have four, 14,10, 4 and 2.
The teenager costs as much as the other three put together. She needs an adult ticket at theme parks, eats adult meals, wears adult clothes, kids club films don't cut it anymore, etc.
in most ways the big gaps we have make things difficult but wrt cost, I'm glad we won't have all 4 in high school together.

I have three, age 14, 11 and 8, so still a lot of spending to come! It is getting more expensive all the time.

Our food bill rises every month. my teen is forever hungry, and his siblings are going the same way.

Shoes and trainers and football boots etc for all three almost every half term because they out grow them.

Uniforms, clothes etc the same.

Holidays are difficult as they get older because when our last was little, we could pop him in a travel cot in a family room. Now, you can hardly find rooms for five, but 6 people would need two rooms. You can get houses etc to sleep 6, but flights cost adult prices once over twelve. hire cars for more that 4 people are expensive, people carriers abroad are silly money to rent.

Admission fees for everything add up. we went to London a few years ago...the London eye cost us going on £100 for five. London Dungeons etc were out of our budget.

A £6 total for 3 Happy Meal easy life dinners will no longer satisfy hunger....a meal in maccy d's (purely for convenience! ) now costs £15 for a lunchtime snack.

Mobile phone contracts cost money, even for a not very cool phone.

pocket money costs.

teens get image conscious and want branded clothes...not all kids are like this, admittedly.

And more importantly, I find three kids hard work. I found it a breeze when they were little, and was very calm for the best part. now, I struggle to give them enough time each. time for myself is almost non existent. chuck in work, and tiredness, homework, after school activities, hormones, and some kind of daily drama.....whilst I ADORE my kids, and wouldn't change it for the world, it is bloody hard work!

Ah yes clothes.
When they are little they are useually in clearly defined 'steps down' as far as clothes sizing goes.As they get older (particularly with the OP having them close together)

1. They wear them for longer and get too worn out to hand down
2. the kids catch up with each other in height
3. from early teens you are buying small size adult clothes rather than kids.

Judgerinder surely clothes don't always go up in price. It would depend on the size of your children.

I think you've already made up your mind OP, and that's fair enough. I guess I'm biased, because I'm currently expecting my second and last and would never dream of having a third, let alone a fourth. For me, having a larger family is just unworkable in terms of not having the money, the space (I would have hated to share a bedroom as a child) and the time to devote to each child. So, dare I say it, it's a case of quality (of lifestyle) over quantity (of children) for me.

Never mind the fact I hate being pregnant and struggle with the baby stage!

And I agree that the expense of raising a child just gets bigger and bigger as they get older, and if your children are all quite young it's not something you're able to envisage.

Clothes aimed at adults are almost invariably more expensive than those aimed at kids. Most clothing shops shop selling more than a token range for over 12s

I thought I was done after two children and then unexpectedly had a third, which (perhaps oddly) led to REALLY wanting a fourth. That didn't happen for me, and my three kids are now 15, 11 and 10. The fourth would have been affordable eight years ago, as a baby, but I think I'd be struggling now if I had an eight year old to buy shoes (etc) for in addition to the three kids I have - if that makes sense.

My sister-in-law has four kids. They have a big house and a big garden and her husband has a really good income. They manage to go on holiday, although they don't have money to throw around. But they don't go without either. One thing I've noticed: my sister-in-law sometimes takes the two eldest away for a few days break, and at other times her husband takes the two youngest, so in addition to a family holiday they do things in smaller groups. It seems to work well for them.

Places like New Look go up to age 16. The age 16 is way too big for me, and I am in my 30s

Yummy - I suppose it depends on the child. As an adult I can also often fit in age 14/15/16 clothing as am a size 6/8 adults. Small feet also. My brother on the other hand was 6ft 3 by 13 years, size 12 feet and adult size clothing to match. 4 tall teen boys would work out pricy!

We are quite lucky in modern times that even adult clothes are usually cheap. The amount of electricals, clothes, and toys you can buy now for next to nothing, probably makes this the first generation to have so much, for such cheap prices.

My teens are boys? Do NewLook do clothes for teen boys? can't see them on the website.
DS2 was nearly 6 ft at 13!

Why doesn't he just wear clothes from Primark or H and M like every other teenage boy?

You're saying some very peculiar things yummy. I understand that you want to justify your choices in the face of people who would not choose to have a larger family, but not everyone wants to eat just two meals a day to save money on holiday, and get all their clothes from Primark and H&M.

Besides, in my experience, teenage boys are much more label conscious than teenage girls. I find girls are much happier to shop in those stores than boys, who wouldn't be seen dead in them.

It just seems outside of my rl experiences. Every male and female of all ages buy their clothes from New Look, Primark and H and M. The boys are obviously more likely to be in JDs as well, I will admit, but those clothes do last.

I also don't do it to scrimp seaoflove. We save over a quarter of our income. I just love a bargain!

Yummy - I don't even shop in primary etc for my 3 year old. To me the ethics of child labour and paying people pennies to make an item doesn't make it a 'bargain'. It makes it sad.

Agree with clothing costs, the older they get the less you can "hand me down" especially if like my lot, you dd2 is taller than dd1 and more messy :) no way can dd1 pass on her clothes and wouldnt accept the state of dd2's (yup primark is a lifesaver)
You mentioned butlins, thats great if your self catering, but prices go up a lot when you have 6 in a dining plan.
Also, when they get past 15 they are classed as adults on some holidays and need 2 rooms :(
Food is another factor, when they get older they start to eat lots more and shopping goes up.
good luck with your descion, no one would regret a 4th I am sure, but you need to think of all the options.
4x pocket money, 4 x saving accounts. 4xuniversity fees etc
Oh god, what have I let myself in for? :D:D
mum of 4 children 9-17

Yummy I have 4 children!!
There comes a time when they can't pass clothes down anymore. There comes a point where they need an 'adult' wardrobe each.
It stands to reason that like for like adult clothes and shoes (oh the shoes!) are more expensive than those for the under 12s.

Holidays are so expensive.You really can't go in termtime as they get older and don't want to miss coursework.You can hre a hoiday cottage in the UK for about £1000k a week too, but you also want to give your DC experiences sometimes, even if you can't afford to every year..We look for the cheapest flights we can in the summer holidays and once they are found, we look for self catering accommodation and car.Sometimes we drive to Europe. It still works out a major major expense.

I prefer second hand for myself, and young children. Dd is a H and M fan, but I am second hand or ebay for nearly everything in clothes or otherwise. I only go shopping in town once a month to 6 weeks.

It is one of those where it depends on your lifestyle op. I live in a place which is an outdoorsy lifestyle, so won't have the typical of MN, London lifestyle.

I think it depends on your lifestyle. For example my sil often expresses jealousy that I worked part time and was able to have a third child whilst she works full time and felt she had to stop at two. However they like expensive holidays and my nieces attend expensive activities daily. I wouldn't have the money or time to do that as I wouldn't be able to actually spend time with the children. We aren't interested in expensive holidays, so our way works for us. And sil's way works for her.

It very much depends on your life I think.

Yeah judge I have 3 but spend 1600 all in a month. The rest is savings, and holiday fund. I never feel we do without.

I am pregnant with DC6 - ages of my DCs are - 12, 10, 7, 5 and 2. The cost is negligible when they are small but is much more the older they get.

My DD1 is at high school there are travel costs, lunches, designer label brands, activities, my DS1 is also becoming brand conscious - Nike, Adidas etc and football boots / trainers are expensive, are grown out of quickly and can't be handed down.

Little ones wear hand me downs, share toys, are happy with visits to the park etc but unfortunately this does not last.

Wouldn't change my big family for the world but they are VERY expensive