To ask how you deal with cold callers.

[Missrubyring]

Hi, I'm new to MN and just wanted to post something light hearted to start me off so ....

How do you deal with cold callers. Both at the door and on the phone.
I once had one ring who was trying to sell me something, I didn't have time (I never do) and so simply said 'I can't talk right now, I'm driving.' To which he simply said 'okay, sorry, bye.' Not realising the number he had called was a landline. (Not the funniest i know)

So has anyone else got any funny/ creative ways to deal with cold callers, whether they've been put into practice or not??

I had one chap who refused, point blank, to take my name off his call list, unless I gave him my postcode - there was no way I was going to give this person any more information about me! He wouldn't stop arguing, so I put the phone down on the table next to me, and got on with the sudoku, whilst the phone quacked away next to me. Eventually he gave up and hung up.

About 10 minutes later, the phone rang again, and I just had a feeling in my bones that it was him again, so I answered the phone in French, but in my own voice - so he must have known it was me. I kept on telling him I didn't understand English, could he speak to me in French please - until he gave up and hung up, and didn't ring back again.

If he had, I was going to try German on him - but after that, I would have been completely out of conversational foreign languages, though I could have recited the Welsh national anthem for him.

One of the problems with ticking a box on the marketing material or website, etc, to opt out of getting future cold calls, is that the companies have wised up to this.

Read the small print carefully. Sometimes you're asked to tick the box to say you do want the calls. The opposite to the usual request.

Or they might phrase it a little differently.

I remember once when I was in college I went home with one of the girls for lunch and met her family. in the middle of chatting someone started walking up the drive and they all jumped off the sofas and lay flat on the floor. I was so confused and they were whispering to me to get down on the floor so I had to. the guy outside could see in as they had blinds but they were pulled up and he was waving at us through the window. it's was the strangest experience of my life and they said they do this whenever someone selling something calls to the door lol

We don't open the door if we aren't expecting anyone, and I screen all phone calls. It saves me slamming the door in someone's face or hanging up. Why would you open the door to a complete stranger? Don't you read the newspapers?

My ex mil passed away, and tv licensing rang to speak to her son. He said it wasn't a good time as his mum had just died. The cheeky bastard started asking who would be taking over her licence and when could they change the details over! We hung up on that.

I sometimes say let me get off this ladder, followed by a scream and then hang up.

Why would you open the door to a complete stranger? Don't you read the newspapers?

Not the ones you may have been reading, no!

I open the door to complete strangers all the time... why wouldn't you open the door? What a boring life if you only ever talk to people you know..

what about someone who moves in over the back and wants their ball back, the new postie delivering a package you weren't expecting, someone who found your credit card in the street, someone who needs to claim on your house insurance because a tile flew off your roof, a friend of your kids calling round to ask about homework, or deliver one of their borrowed books - or one very lucky, very memorable time the premium bonds people called on my neighbour to let them know they were rich! (not me unfortunately )

We have a phone with caller id and I don't answer any number that I don't know. The spam calls are usually easy to recognise so we just don't pick them up. If one with a seemingly 'proper' number does get through, I just say 'no thanks' and put the phone down. We are registered with the TPS but it doesn't work for all calls.

With people who call at the door - if I remember to look through the spy hole and think they're selling something, I don't answer; if I do answer, and it's JWs/anyone else I don't want to talk to, I just say 'no thanks' and shut the door. I don't engage with them because once they start on their spiel they won't stop. I don't feel guilty - I'm not rude, but I didn't ask them to come to my home so as far as I am concerned I don't need to talk to them.

I just had a call to book my boiler service, if I hadn't picked up I would have had to put up with when THEY want to come, or ring up to rearrange - both an inconvenience. Instead I answered the phone, which was showing a number I did not know, and arranged stuff at their call expense, not mine.

People really are getting more and more insular.

I tell them arlagirl is dead.

Occasionally if I have had a succession of them I just tell them to fuck right off.

We have a window at right angles to the front door so we open the window and speak to them through that. It has the advantage of making us slightly higher than them and provides a natural barrier so they realise we aren't going to be interested. Then all you have to do is smile and say 'No thank you'. I wouldn't actually be rude to a cold caller as in the past DS1 and DH have both had to resort to cold calling jobs when we were desperate for cash, but I wouldn't want to waste their time/ get their hopes up either.
The phone is more tricky. I like the one I read on Mumsnet once 'Sorry, I'm busy right now, but give me your home phone number and I'll ring you back tonight'. Never had the guts to do it though.

I used to work in telemarketing, unfortunately! I was a uni student and it was the only place to get a job. Most places refused to hire students because some were unreliable. It is a seriously crap job, miserable and low paid. You can be sure if someone is doing it then it is because it is that or nothing.

The whole office I worked in were students, we actually enjoyed most people trying to wind us up. It made a shift more interesting. The worst calls were to elderly people who would literally agree to anything but clearly had no clue what you were talking about. We were told especially to get those people to agree to appointments

My friends and I used to handle it by saying 'I am so sorry we wont be able to help you today' regardless of what they said and then tell the manager they lived in a council house or some excuse and cross them of the list.

Personally I handle telemarketers/charity collectors/religious callers or any number of people I don't want to speak to at the phone or at the door by saying 'no thank you, bye' and hanging up or closing the door. No apology, no explanation and no conversation. My husband finds it terrible rude, he will explain for ten minutes why we don't want something while they try and talk him round.

I'm on the telephone preference system but I still end up getting cold calls, always from India, asking for "Mrs Meercat" ??! I've lived in my house for 10 years and the former residents definitely weren't Meercats, it's very strange. Often I play along with it, pretending I'm interested in what they want to sell me, and then when they eventually ask for personal details, I say things like: Zebedee, Xylophone, Bazooka and they eventually hang up on me!

One time I'd had 3 Mrs Meercat calls in one morning and was feeling pretty exasperated when the landline rang for the 4th time.
Caller: I received two missed calls from this number this morning
Me: Er, no - I haven't called any one on this number
Caller: Who is this?
I refuse to give my name. Altercation ensues, caller insistent I phoned him, me insistent he hasn't, until I ask: What's your name?
Caller: Mr Upatree
So yeah...no only does my OH not know our land line number, neither of us recognised each others' voices, and he'd completely forgotten that he was the one who used the land line to call his own mobile because he couldn't remember where he'd put it!!

Regarding callers at the door, I have a sign on my letterbox saying they are not welcome. I often point it out to them and they get really arsey! The sign says no junk mail too and I take great delight in crouching by the front door and pushing the mail straight out again as they try and put it through my letterbox. I've even been known to "woof" at them on occasion!

How could you not recognise your OH's voice?

DBil is American and while over here staying with MIL recently he answered the phone to one of these and told them that he was in the FBI murder incident room in Chicago and what did they want?!!

I tell them I've died on the phone don't think every had a door one.

I am very boring and polite to most cold callers because, as someone else said, it is a grotty job and not something you would do unless pretty desperate surely.

It is the charity callers who get my goat. Sorry, am wandering from the light hearted tenor of this thread into grumpy old woman territory.

I think it is a great idea to be able to give text donations but I am considering stopping now because it is always followed up by some drone trying to get me to give more. Fair enough they ask about gift aid but as I like to point out to them, if they care so much they would be better off saving the call and donating their salary for the time spent on cold calling to the charity.

What happened to volunteering for charity work? Ooops, that's another thread topic!

The best thing to do is to say that you're a business address - they have to take your name off. Playing games won't actually stop them calling you, you'll just be on a list to call back again

Just annoyed a cold caller without even being rude. Call saying it has come to their attention that I am using a bank account without taking advantage of the full benefits. Told them that wasn't the case. Then he asked if I had taken out any loans, credit cards etc in the last 10 years. I told him I wasn't willing to discuss that and he sighed and just said ooooookay, and hung up. Why would a stranger think that I would want to discuss my personal finances?

Nadia "How could you not recognise your OH's voice?"

Because he never usually calls on the landline, plus he'd put on his posh phone voice because he had no idea he was phoning me, as opposed to a business number!

I've not done too bad, 12 years and no cold calls except random number diallers, 'microsoft' and 'the accident group', I had some fun wasting the Microsoft guy's time before he hung up on me and the accident bloke got very offensive and personal when I told him he should have my details if calling me!

DH has been telling the same JWs that the owner is out, he's just working here, for years.

On the phone? I admit I sometimes put on an accent and shout a bit - maybe a Dom Jolly HELLO! Or a Lesley Phillips Helloooo!. Had one the other day who asked me what my phone number was (think they were looking for someone else) - so I told them truthfully that I don't know what my number is.

I told someone on the phone this morning that I couldn't read. I didn't mean to say that, but she was selling a weekly magazine at a high price that I didn't want.

I had a couple of god-botherers start with "I won't keep you a mom..." to which I said "got that right" and pointed to the No Leaflets/Sales/Religion... sign on our door as i shut it in their faces. That felt good.

Telephone is harder. We're on the TPS, but that hasn't worked well, and not just with international calls. Got a "recent accident..." phone call the other day, from a UK number (!) and Virgin Media were useless tossers when i rang them to complain.

I find it odd that people don't open the door if they aren't expecting someone. The last late night call we had was the lady over the road plus two tiddlers as her pipes had burst and needed help

Such an isolated life.

I have had an emergency medical situation and did not have enough energy to even be hacked off at the family member who did not answer the phone as they were't expecting a call :/