AIBU to make up a fake dating profile as another person blocked me from contacting them?

[Mermaidhair]

I have joined an Internet dating site. I have been receiving a lot of interest but only one has taken my fancy. Organised to chat over Skype. We spoke for 1 hour the first time, very easily it felt like 10 mins. It is hard to make me laugh, but he had me in stitches. Phone call only ended as I had an appointment. Second phone call 2 hours same thing. I am very new to Internet dating, and was doing some research and read a lot about scams. My profile says I am a widow( which I am) apparently I am a target. Anyway I thought I would test to see if this guy was keen, and seemed legit. Well it backfired on me. Was all by instant messaging, sort of said I am not to sure, tried to back away a bit. He said he was devastated, that he really really liked me etc. He seems to tick all of my boxes and there was an instant attraction, heart flutters. You know when there is chemistry. He then sent a message to say goodluck with my search etc, then blocked me. Well that didn't go according to plan. I have left it a few days, can't get him out of my head. I asked God for a sign today about if I should try to pursue things. He is a fireman, ( sexy I know) anyway I got off the train and there was a fire and like 4 fire engines there. I took that as a sign. So I have made up another fakeish profile( my photo etc) so I could send him a message explaining the situation. It's done now so not much I can do but wondering AIBU, or is it follow your heart, you only live once sort of thing? If anyone's interested I will update as things progress

I'm sorry for your loss Mermaidhair

I think you should swallow your pride on this one, and chalk it up to experience.

It may be an idea to step away from internet dating until you are ready. The Dating Game is a dog eat dog world at the best of times, and internet dating can be a lot worse. It can knock your confidence quite a bit and make you doubt yourself in ways you shouldn't have to.

You sound like you have a productive social life with good friends and church, you are studying and you have 4 lovely DCs.
I think you should concentrate on the things you love in life. You never know, through friends, church or studies a lovely chap could come along when you least expect it.

"isn't "occupation:fireman" along with "pilot" up there in the top ten of lies that male players on OD use to reel in women ?"

But who falls for that shite? Sorry it is pretty easy to find out if someone is one of those professions, just as it is easy to figure out that I dont speak Swahili or not 6'6".

Flipping it around, I seem to recall during my internet dating days that there seemed to be a disproportionate number of women aged 39, never 40, but 39, and that the word 'curvy' should be treated with extreme caution.

the word 'curvy' should be treated with extreme caution

indeed, and iirc the male equivalent is 'rugby player build'

@Suzanne

First rule of internet dating.....always be suspicious if someones profile photo features only their head yet describe themselves as athletic/slim/whatever

I think just 'always be suspicious' covers it! :o

and be very wary of 'ex rugby players build' (it means I used to be a pretty big but now I've really let myself go)

Shame on you,some of the earlier posters on this thread

Oi...I'm an ex rugby player and still look awesome!

At least in my profile I actually uploaded a photo of me actually playing rugby! OK, I might not look like Dan Carter but at least I was being honest!

I didn't realise that Nigerian 419 scammers frequented MN.

We really need a 'grip' emoticon on here.

...aaaaaaand I just sounded like a total cunt.

Apologies, OP. Better luck with dating next time x

Mmmm, Dan Carter. goes into reverie

But who falls for that shite?

Err, hellooo, lots of rather vulnerable women do. The relationships board is littered with people who have been lied to and are a victim of hope over experience

Who falls for that shite My ex colleague. Every.single.time. She just couldn't understand that as far as she was concerned it was like shooting fish in a barrel for every "burly fireman" on the WWW.

Ok I have done this! First time online dating, been dating this man only a week and a half and I got carried away. Decided to test him...said I am not sure if I wanted see him anymore and he replied wishing me well!! lol. I backtracked and though he wasn't happy with my game playing he went on another date with me!

OP I feel for you! learn from this not get attached to quickly.

in fairness had the op posted that she was recently bereaved in her op people would have reacted vastly differently from the outset.

The fact is that there are game players of both sexes in the OD world and they vastly outnumber the genuine people out there, so to read of someone testing someone and then setting up fake profiles when getting blocked would rightly cause people to react wthout the history to back it up - iyswim.

I wonder what the statistics are for people getting burned in the OD world compared to people who meetup either through rl dating experiences or just through work/in the pub etc. Because it sounds from reading that most people online are either just players or users or not actually all they claim to be. Of course these people are obviously people in their own right and are real people somewhere, but it seems the internet gives them somewhat of a platform on which to play out their games.

I would never recommend online dating to anyone, especially not someone who was vulnerable.

We can never know whether this bloke is genuine or not, but would still say that OD probably isn't for the op at this stage. Agree though that meetup might be a good idea :-)

Err, she did post she was a widow..does the timespan make a huge difference then?

At what stage is she immune from the effects of bereavement or grief?

Two years? Four?

She posted it in the op which shows it was fresh for her psychologically if nothing else