AIBU to make up a fake dating profile as another person blocked me from contacting them?

[Mermaidhair]

I have joined an Internet dating site. I have been receiving a lot of interest but only one has taken my fancy. Organised to chat over Skype. We spoke for 1 hour the first time, very easily it felt like 10 mins. It is hard to make me laugh, but he had me in stitches. Phone call only ended as I had an appointment. Second phone call 2 hours same thing. I am very new to Internet dating, and was doing some research and read a lot about scams. My profile says I am a widow( which I am) apparently I am a target. Anyway I thought I would test to see if this guy was keen, and seemed legit. Well it backfired on me. Was all by instant messaging, sort of said I am not to sure, tried to back away a bit. He said he was devastated, that he really really liked me etc. He seems to tick all of my boxes and there was an instant attraction, heart flutters. You know when there is chemistry. He then sent a message to say goodluck with my search etc, then blocked me. Well that didn't go according to plan. I have left it a few days, can't get him out of my head. I asked God for a sign today about if I should try to pursue things. He is a fireman, ( sexy I know) anyway I got off the train and there was a fire and like 4 fire engines there. I took that as a sign. So I have made up another fakeish profile( my photo etc) so I could send him a message explaining the situation. It's done now so not much I can do but wondering AIBU, or is it follow your heart, you only live once sort of thing? If anyone's interested I will update as things progress

Second story, same friend different boyfriend broke up with her. This guy got a new, prettier, smarter, talented girlfriend. Well now this guy had a very unusual car, with a very loud distinct sound. Friend invested a few weeks sitting in different cafes on a well know eat street(Australia) in town. She would take note of this car, times etc. H was know to go to this street daily. One day she was driving near this street and she saw his car parked in unfamiliar drive. Took notes etc. worked out that this was new girlfriends, brothers house. Smallish town, people know people. Anyway one day boyfriend and his new girlfriend go to this brothers house to find my friend sitting in the kitchen with this brother, drinking cordial and he was showing her his family albums! Boyfriend nearly died! She was laughing as she told me, they never did get back together. No one called police, she had told brother she was a friend of new girlfriend and wanted to introduce herself. I don't feel so bad now. Thinking about it, I would be freaked out if a guy did to me what I tried to do, I would be thinking of police. Fireman had also lost his girlfriend 6 months prior. Sexy fireman+mermaid=two grieving fucked up people

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A goodly portion of men who OD have given up on the idea of actual sex with another person and just look for some online interaction to help them get aroused in order to jerk off?

He's not a fireman, he didn't lose his girlfriend, he's just saying that to get you to feel a connection to him so that he can manipulate you if he wants to.

It's so good that I can post and get honest responses, and lots of differing opinions. It's like the best girlfriend. I declare before all of MN that I Mermaidhair will stay away from Internet dating.

Agree he was not what he seemed OP. Probably had a lucky escape there. Onwards!

I have deleted his Skype profile( even though I am blocked!) I am feeling really calm now, it has been driving me insane the last few days. I could have had a knock at my door from the police, now that would be embarrassing!

Mermaid - I totally understand what a head fuckery world OD is. It's so easy to get carried away with it all. The trouble I found was that it was all I could think about, obsessing over every word choice in the messages, filling in the long hours between messages with imaginings and fantasy. As you have said, you are still vulnerable and not quite ready, give it time and try again.

(I now have a lovely DP from OD and a baby.)

You sound fab! (Albeit with a temporary-stalker moment).

Just remember that - and when the time is right any man (fire or otherwise) would be lucky to have you.

I met my fiancé OD, five years this year. It can be a crazy world with weirdos, willy pics and headfucks but there are some decent guys out there. You have to treat it as an adventure and not the be all and end all in finding 'him'. But stop with the mind games, if you wouldn't like it done to you then don't do it. Step back for a while - which I notice you have!

((hugs)) Mermaid

Guess what the funny thing is? I wrote " please no players"!!!!!!!! I am fucking hilarious!!!! I am now picturing sexy fireman as the exact opposite of his picture. I am also having a good giggle.

Have a look at meetup.com. Not a dating site but you can join interest groups locally- a good way to meet people. Even joining a female dominated one will get you out and about and maybe meet people in real life through new friends.

I feel for you op, people haven't read the post properly and seen you're a recent widow.
I can only imagine the pain you're going through, and all you wanted was some love and compassion. I can't totally understand why youdid what you did, you felt the need to grab hold of something that was already slipping from your grasp.
Be kind to yourself, have a cry, and then step back for a bit from OD.
Do you have friends you can socialise with?
Concentrate on you, and any children you have, remember there's no time limit with grief, so if by chance people are saying it's time you moved on, and found someone else, well, it's not, is it?
My dad died last June, he and mum had been married 58 years....she will NEVER get over losing him, and I wouldn't expect her to...she lives, day to day, but is hugely unhappy and lonely.

Give YOURSLEF time and then think again x

i have 4 beautiful children, some very good friends, a very active church/serving life. Have also just started studying. I was actually thinking if sexy fireman ever did want to meet, I am only available Sunday from lunchtime. Or maybe Monday evening. I am chockablock busy every other evening/ day. I just miss having a partner in crime. It doesn't sound like I have time anyway does it?

Agree he's not a fireman - he probably works on the fish counter in Asda (nothing wrong with that BTW)

Just wanted to add "block and move on" is often given as online dating advice. Especially if you liked someone but it wasn't reciprocated. He may well have been genuine (therefore you don't need to beat yourself up about your instincts too much!) Or he may have been a married loser with an active imagination. The point is that you have learnt from this - you put yourself out there and found that it wasn't a good time for you. No shame in that at all

isn't "occupation:fireman" along with "pilot" up there in the top ten of lies that male players on OD use to reel in women ?

oh, and "separated but still living together for the kidz"

OP!

You are too good for OD even when you are ready (and tbh this incident doesn't mean you're not, just that this wasn't the right guy/time/situation).

To me it sounds like though your caution might not have been as tactfully expressed as it might have been him being "devastated" (having spoken to you three times had he picked a ring!?) and blocking you makes him at LEAST a very insecure drama queen. He could also be a lying scam artist of course, but assuming he isn't, he still doesn't sound like a brilliant partner for someone such as yourself who is coming to terms with a pretty devastating loss still fairly recently.

I doubt you really need to do internet dating. I BET if it got around your church and social groups that you'd dabbled in internet dating (no details of course, just that you'd decided to try it) then a number of suitors who have been waiting tactfully in the wings will offer their arm. When I split with my ex, a number of months later when I went on a date with an old friend (now my DH) another three people I knew suddenly asked me out too. None of them wanted to be seen as tactlessly quick off the mark. I was flattered and insulted (felt like "oh the shop's open again"!) in equal measure.

More to you. You are not a mental stalker, you're just a bit lonely, a bit unpracticed at all this and a bit unsure of yourself.

No leave it. If you charted on Skype I'd just create a new Skype account in a months time if your still thinking about him and transfer his user name access and act all innocent.

Bless you Mermaid. You sound lovely and well done on taking such a beating on here so well. Some of the posters on here could be doing with taking a leaf out of your book with treating others with a bit of respect.

With regard to the fake profile the op didn't open it to fool or trick anyone.

Good luck op and I'm sorry for your loss.

You do sound lovely, Mermaid, and with a very healthy sense of humour and irony!

We've all done daft things in the name of love/lust. I cringe thinking about some of the stuff I've done.

Good luck

I don't think you did anything terrible. You put your own photo on the fake profile, so you weren't hiding that it was you trying to message him. Just arrange to meet up somewhere safe if you meet someone you like online again, rather than testing them. Good luck!