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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

school nurse letter

495 replies

devonshiredumpling · 14/02/2015 18:42

got a letter this morning rom the schoolnurse service to say that after being weighed my dd has been catergorised as severely overweight. we also got a leaflet saying that her diet could be better (she has at least seven portion of friut and veg) we also need to increase her activity level but since moving to the country we cannot get her out of the garden and off her bike ,she is tall for her age at 122.8 cm and she weighs 29.9kg but you cannot see any fat on her she is five .any help would be good aibu to feel peeved about this (she is five and half)

OP posts:
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6
Bunbaker · 15/02/2015 12:25

SugarplumKate I used to have that problem with DD. she has always been at the lower end of the centile range and I used to struggle to get clothes that were long enough and narrow enough for her.

On one occasion I had her at the GP for something else and mentioned that I was worried about her being underweight. She looked at her and said that she was how children should look and that most children were overweight. She said that you should be able to see a child's ribs.

DD is now 14 and wears an adult size 6, and has been for the last couple of years. Clothes for teenagers are way too big for her. Therefore most manufacturers must assume that teenagers are overweight.

Older · 15/02/2015 12:59

Suburban you seem to determined to nitpick my posts. I did say in my experience and in my experience they have limited their care to what is appropriate which I think is the correct thing. You seem to assume I implied 'don't do very much' as a negative comment. Otherwise I'm not sure why you feel you need to tell me my experience is wrong.

Original poster
devonshiredumpling · 15/02/2015 13:07

Just a quick update. Yesterday my dd had bran flakes for breakfast and left around half of what I gave her she had some party food which she had three small sandwiches ,carrot sticks ,cucumber sticks grapes and a few sausages followed by ice cream for her main meal she had homemade pizza with peppers, sweet corn ,tomatoes ,mushrooms and tomato purée on the cheese was half fat and for afters she had her birthday cake from the party. Her activity level for the day was two hours in the soft play centre and an hours running around the wood near us Any ideas of what I am doing wrong

OP posts:
slithytove · 15/02/2015 13:21

Could you calorie count that devon?

I think she needs around 1500 and it's possible depending on portion size, she could be over that.

The sausages, ice cream, cake, cheese, and pizza dough are all quite high.
There is also a lot of sugar in that day - bran flakes, ice cream, cake, fruit

Any idea of portion sizes? I'd start weighing her food.

slithytove · 15/02/2015 13:22

Does 3 small sandwiches mean 3/4 of a 2 slice sandwich?

CantBeBotheredThinking · 15/02/2015 13:22

What are you classing as a small sandwich are you talking 2 slices of bread made into a sandwich then cut into 2 or 4. Children do not need a sweet after at every meal, if anything is wanted then fruit or yogurt would be a better choice.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 15/02/2015 13:24

The issue may not be what you are giving her, but the portion size. Try measuring the quantity of food you normally give her, and compare that with recommended portions. For example, 30g of cereal is a very small amount, much, much less than a bowlful.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 15/02/2015 13:27

See a dietician who will help with portion sizes. I think that's your main problem. Yes she's overweight but you can change that there's plenty of help out there

soverylucky · 15/02/2015 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eva50 · 15/02/2015 13:27

You don't mention her having any fluids. Did she have anything other than water to drink?

fattymcfatfat · 15/02/2015 13:27

sugar is a killer. thats what my downfall was (I downloaded mvp and kept a log, turns out its all the sugary drinks that sent me over my calory and fat intake each day)
a portion should be approximately the size of her fist so not big at all.

Sirzy · 15/02/2015 13:27

I don't think the day of a birthday party is a fair judgement.

What does she eat in an average day?

BMO · 15/02/2015 13:29

It depends on the portion sizes. My DS1 is 4.5 and a small eater (weighs about 15.5kg) and he would eat those things in a typical day, but the portion sizes would be:
cereal in a plastic Ikea children's bowl
party food - he'd only eat 2 quarter sandwiches (one slice of bread), a couple of cocktail sausages and a couple of carrot sticks, handful of grapes. Tablespoon size portion of ice cream
One slice of pizza (an 8th of a whole pizza) and a small slice of cake

fattymcfatfat · 15/02/2015 13:29

but definitely look at an average day as this is a party so obviously having much more sugar and junk than usual

SuburbanRhonda · 15/02/2015 13:29

older, then perhaps you should have said "at my DCs school", or "at a school where I have worked", rather than saying that in your experience, schools do this, that or the other. You make it sound as if you have wide-ranging experience of first aid in many schools, all of which do "very little" because they are in fear of doing something wrong.

Our trained first aiders are called that precisely because they are trained to deliver the correct first aid in an emergency. Their practice is not driven by fear of making a mistake.

slippermaiden · 15/02/2015 13:30

She does sound overweight to me. My 7 year old weighs 24kg and is 132cm. Thin as a rake tho!

tobysmum77 · 15/02/2015 13:31

Are you sure the measurements are right op?

I think it's difficult for any of us to say, because children have different metabolisms.

I have 2dds, both of whom eat well. One has a bmi 16th percentile abd the other is 60th Confused , both have the same build I would say....

Can you go to a dietician and get done proper advice?

Older · 15/02/2015 13:36

Perhaps you could write my posts for me in future suburban in order that they include every possibility, caveat and no ambiguity can be read into any small detail, date name, spelling and clearly state the perspective of the reader, writer and any outside influences on said post

Or maybe examine your defensiveness

Verbena37 · 15/02/2015 13:53

That food seems fine Devonshire.
Peeps.....that is one day and sounds like a normal kids party Saturday! Im sure she isn't having pizza and ice cream every day.

I think everyone is being harsh. As others have said, some kids grow outwards before they grow upwards and to me, it sounds like Devonshire knows what children should be eating.

She obviously doesn't want to make an issue out of this to her dd. Or she could end up having food issues for life!

FWIW, I refused school for school nurses to weigh my DD and measure her height.....partly due to the Derbyshire hooha, where children were seeing the letters sent to parents saying their kids were obese!

For my quite emotional child, being weighed by strangers was not something I knew what would be helpful. We have always kept an eye on her weight and altered her diet/exercise accordingly.

The OP sounds like a caring, sensible mum who feeds her children healthy food and gets them out in the woods/outdoors regularly.

Simply by feeding healthy, child size meals, having regular activity time and keeping an eye on how well clothes fit, Seems a much easier way of assessing how healthy a child is.

BMO · 15/02/2015 13:56

Simply by feeding healthy, child size meals, having regular activity time and keeping an eye on how well clothes fit, Seems a much easier way of assessing how healthy a child is

That quite obviously isn't working though Verbena, if parents with severely overweight children don't think they look fat at all.

SuburbanRhonda · 15/02/2015 14:06

Or maybe you could just post what you mean and save us all the bother, older.

Mrsmorton · 15/02/2015 14:09

The portion size for breakfast cereals is absolutely tiny so it's really easy to overfill a bowl.

Does she have cereal every day?

CantBeBotheredThinking · 15/02/2015 14:14

keeping an eye on how well clothes fit problem with that is that manufacturers allow for the fact that some children are bigger so allow more room. I find it very hard to find clothes to fit my normally built child without them being too loose.

codandchipstwice · 15/02/2015 14:22

Sorry, one 23kg one 30kg!

Idefix · 15/02/2015 15:02

Devonshire I would try and get an appointment with the practice nurse and ask for a referral for the dietician. There will not be judgements made on you as a parent - you sound understandably like a concerned parent. As others will say you need to focus on portion sizes and measure things such as cereal - fun for your to be involved and doing the measuring. Look at plate sizes, when dc were this age they had a smaller plate (side plate) than the adults. There are lots of places that you can find information on what portion sizes for children such as
www.gosh.nhs.uk/children/general-health-advice/eat-smart/food-science/improving-your-diet/

www.nhs.uk/change4life/

www.nhs.uk/livewell/childhealth6-15

The last one is as it says for children from 6yrs. It is important to get age appropriate advice from a professional.

Not popular on mn I have noticed, but swapping higher fat products for lower fat products - I also use half-fat cheese :) this is still high in calcium :)
Realisation is the first step in making positive changes op. So many parents that I meet are in total denial about this issue. But on a daily basis at work I with the fallout of obese children who grow-up to be obese adults. As others have said before one whilst your child is growing quickly you can buck the trend.

As for Jane words fail me???did I read correctly that you worked in a&e? Or was just that you met your son there after his accident at school? Really struggling with the idea that you might be a hcp.