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AIBU?

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Original poster

school nurse letter

495 replies

devonshiredumpling · 14/02/2015 18:42

got a letter this morning rom the schoolnurse service to say that after being weighed my dd has been catergorised as severely overweight. we also got a leaflet saying that her diet could be better (she has at least seven portion of friut and veg) we also need to increase her activity level but since moving to the country we cannot get her out of the garden and off her bike ,she is tall for her age at 122.8 cm and she weighs 29.9kg but you cannot see any fat on her she is five .any help would be good aibu to feel peeved about this (she is five and half)

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AnyoneforTurps · 14/02/2015 19:11

It's worth talking to your GP (I'm a GP). She is very tall for her age - above the 98th centile (i.e. in the top 2%) of children. So you would expect her to be substantially heavier than average. However, even allowing for this, she is on a even higher centile for weight, so proportionately heavier than she is tall. This may be no big deal as children often don't grow evenly - they tend to gather a bit of weight, then shoot up so the weight then evens out. However, it is worth a discussion and please do go with an open mind. No one is trying to make you or her feel bad.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/02/2015 19:12

I've noticed your User Name. Please bear in mind that I an far from skinny when I ask; are you and the rest of the adults in the family overweight? This could mean that you aren't assessing her as well as you might but also that you have some genetic stuff going on or the school is worried as a result. IWSWIM.

britnay · 14/02/2015 19:12

Another thought OP, how are the rest of your family (yourself included) in regards to weight? If you are all on the larger side it might be difficult to know what normal actually should look like. Perhaps portion sizes have been creeping up?

mommy2ash · 14/02/2015 19:14

i dunno my dd is eight and does have a bit of chub on her in places, she has always had a chubby face even as a skinny baby so has a bit of a chin and has a little bit of a tummy. other people think she is skinny but i notice it. she is 129 cm and 28 kg.

i cant see how your dd doesn't have extra weight on her. do you think you just don't notice it? thats not meant as an insult as most people don't.

maybe keep a diary for a week of her food and exercise and see if it could be improved. it is better to do this now than to allow an entire childhood of bad habits that she has to try get over as an adult.

sticklebrickstickle · 14/02/2015 19:19

The suggestions (more fruit/veg, more exercise) are probably standard suggestions given to all children flagged up as being overweight and not necessarily targeted at your daughter. I wouldn't take the suggestions personally.

However it does sound like your DD is overweight and maybe you could look at her diet and ask if there is anything you could change? For example seven portions of fruit a day is good but fruit is very high in sugar - could you swap some of the fruit for veg which tends to be lower in sugar and thus calories?

Also what is your DD eating on top of the fruit? Lots of fruit is one aspect of a healthy diet but if the rest of the diet is made up of high sugar or highly processed foods then the diet may still be unhealthy. Outside of the fruit what else is she eating and is there anything you could cut out or swap for a healthier option? I also agree you could look at portion size and maybe reduce the amount of food she is eating?

Maybe keep a food diary for a few days of everything she eats and then work out how many calories she is consuming a day. There are lots of apps and websites which can help you find the calorie contents of almost every food. A child should eat around 1500 calories a day. I did this myself when I was piling on the weight but convinced I ate a healthy diet - turns out I was consuming way more calories than I should have been, and lots through foods I considered healthy like nuts, cereal bars and fruit juice!

fishesgirl · 14/02/2015 19:34

My DD was also in the severely overweight category in reception (and was almost the same weight at age 3 too). She is also very active and eats a good diet with plenty of fruit and veg. It was worth talking to the school nurse-although we had made some changes from age 3 we discovered we were giving her huge portions of carbohydrate. We were told they are supposed to have 3 portions a day and a portion is one slice of bread or 3 tbsp cereal/pasta/potato/rice etc. We were probably giving her double that. A year later she is on the 60th centile for BMI.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/02/2015 19:44

Sorry but my DD is 8 and 138cm tall and weighs that, that is overweight

FightOrFlight · 14/02/2015 19:50

Re: her 7 a day, fruit is very high in naturally occurring sugar especially fruits like grapes and bananas. Ideally you should be aiming for 6 veg and 1 fruit portion.

Try and serve lower fat meats like chicken and turkey (no skin) rather than fattier meats like lamb and pork. Bear in mind her portion should be substantially smaller than yours. Load up on lower calorie veg to help fill her up, avoid the higher calorie ones such as sweetcorn and carrot.

Serve lower calorie sauces on pasta, such as tomato rather than white/cheese sauces. Limit cheese to a small slice - even an adult portion should be no larger than a matchbox.

Mistigri · 14/02/2015 19:54

Are the figures you gave in the OP the ones they recorded at school? Are you certain they are correct?

It's not unknown for them to make mistakes; we were once informed by the school nurse that DS was borderline obese (BMI on the 98th percentile for his age). It was obviously a nonsense (his BMI was actually around the 25th percentile) - and I believe they had most likely mixed him up with another child.

However if the figures are correct then there is a issue. If diet and exercise are OK then most likely the problem is portion size.

bumbleymummy · 14/02/2015 19:58

Sorry but I agree that it does sound quite heavy for her height. I know it's sometimes hard to really 'see' your children but is it possible that she is overweight even though you think she isn't?

dixiechick1975 · 14/02/2015 20:20

I read an article on here about being over tall as a sign of being overweight in girls. Can't seem to find it now sorry.

I'd see your GP for advice.

One of the other effects of being tall and heavy is possible early puberty so if there are steps you can take to help her avoid all the hassle associated with that it is worth it.

WhataMistakeaToMakea · 14/02/2015 20:43

Op my DD was also 'very overweight' measured by the school nurse. She's got a slim waist and big legs and bum (same shape as her African side of the family). And when I say big it's solid not wobbly at all! I know she walks over a mile every day (school run) and does 5 sports/dance activities a week as hobbies (which she loves). We don't have meat every day and it's usually only chicken when we do and it's been commented my lunch boxes are the healthiest out of the class (the school dinners are full of crap like burgers and chips so I don't let the kids have them). To be honest I'll wait it out a while before I panic about it as her sister had similar results and then shot up and evened out weight wise- the same body shape but kind of taller and leaner.

You know your own DD better than us lot on here- although I would say school nurses are normally lovely and approachable (I work alongside them often) so it would be worth having a chat and get their opinion/advice

Pico2 · 14/02/2015 20:45

Ave you checked that her height and weight were accurately recorded?

Musicaltheatremum · 14/02/2015 20:47

You can't use adult BMI charts for children. I've just looked up the children's charts and she is very overweight so they are right to bring it to your attention. She is on the 99th centile for weight which even at her height is too heavy. You don't want her to loose weight but you need to try and stabilise her weight as she grows. And as someone said above be wary of fruit sugar. Bananas are lethal for that.

Musicaltheatremum · 14/02/2015 20:50

Meant to add, my daughter was overweight as a child. I did over feed her as a baby. She is now 22, and beautifully slim and tall so it can be sorted. You might need to reduce portion size and snacks. Hope it works out.

EdSheeran · 14/02/2015 20:53

I don't think people saying "you know your child" is helpful as it's been shown that we have lost perspective with regards to looking at people and ' 'just knowing'. Studies have shown that parents underestimate their children's weight and can't judge accurately by looking. We need to stop making excuses and tackling the issue.

Ikilledlucybeale · 14/02/2015 20:56

If those measurements are correct, she is overweight. No one likes it being pointed out, but it needs to be, as parents just don't see it. Overweight kids have become normalised in our society, sadly, just compare the old 'Augustus Gloop' with the new one, to see what 'fat' used to be, and how extreme they had to make it to appear 'fat' now. Our gauge is skewed, which is why they do the letters. Being too tall and too heavy is a sign of problems in kids, even if it's in proportion. Sorry, I know it's hard to hear.

Mumteadumpty · 14/02/2015 21:09

The letters are standard ones that are sent out to parents of children who are above 'normal' growth measurements. It may be a good idea to discuss it with a school nurse or GP in person to see if there are concerns, or whether your child is simply taller and proportionally heavier than others of the same age. It figures that tall parents will have bigger children, are you or her Dad bigger than average?

AddToBasket · 14/02/2015 21:14

That Augustus Gloop thing is interesting. Yes, we've definitely lost sight of what 'normal' is in children.

OP, children change shape quickly so it won't be hard to bring her weight back into a healthy category if you choose to make changes. It might be worth taking a hard look at the family habits, though, so you can really make sure this doesn't happen again. Do you have other DC?

peutetre · 14/02/2015 21:14

I killed I think you've hit the nail on the head! We have both Charlie films and even the kids have commented on the difference in size of Augustus Gloop.

minionmadess · 14/02/2015 21:32

OP - my ds (6.9) is exactly the same weight as your dd is but is 139cm tall.

He is not at all skinny and on the BMI chart he is smack bang in the middle of the healthy range.

britnay · 14/02/2015 21:37

I get a sense of denial from the lack of response from the OP...

Janethegirl · 14/02/2015 21:42

I refused to let any person/body weigh my Dcs or do dental checks on my Dcs at school as it was done through gps or the local dentist. What is the point of this interference in family life??

BMO · 14/02/2015 21:49

It tends to be the parents of overweight children who refuse to have them weighed.