To feel we are all a little bit too obsessed with education and school?

[TheOddity]

I've seen threads recently about people remortgaging their house for private education, teachers publicly shamed in front of their peers for results beyond their control, people moving house to be nearer a good nursery, and on and on.
I recently moved to another country in Europe. I asked my new neighbour what the local nursery was like as that's where we intended to send our son. They said "it's very close and convenient". My spidey senses were tingling, did this mean it was a failing nursery? Next I go to the first parents' meeting. Not a word was spoken about targets, the curriculum etc. it was all about food and naps. In the end section for questions, the questions parents asked were about.....food and naps! He is there now for half a year, it's fine, And hopefully sometimes he is learning. There is one secondary school nearby so everyone goes there and again, it's fine. I am not overly worried my son will fail, because he is bright and I will help him.
I just think, are we all insane in the UK? Is it worth the stress? At the end of the day, if you are worried enough about them to remortgage your house, surely you could just do a bit of homework with them each night and it will all turn out ok? AIBU to think that school is all a bit out of proportion and life is pretty unpredictable unless your parents already own a fortune?

I agree with cookied - give them the chances and then if they want to take a very different path - low pay, arts or whatever they can do so. My children have been/are at very academically successful schools as much because of the family'/s love of classical music because I want that music to be available in the form I like it (boys of 10 singing Handel in latin etc - 3 won music scholarships as much as I want them to have the chance if they want to take it to be the doctors and lawyers common in this family).

My daughter's old school got 99% A* or A by the way at GCSE last year so a 60% A - C which some people on the thread are saying is good is not - although of course the big difference is whether the entrance is selective so a fairer comparison would be a state grammar in the SE (Henrietta Barnett 90% - not as good but still good -selective SE state secondary grammar).

Sometimes a mother can go back to full time work when the children are 4 and earn enough to pay £12k after tax for one place at a very good private primary whereas if she stayed home she could not. All part of our choices and those of husbands too of course.

But chasing top grades if they aren't that way inclined isn't giving them 'every chance'. Amongst the As they may well not actually have the qualifications they need.

Giving your children every chance is about getting them to understand their strengths and how to use them effectively in the workplace/ to make money.

I am all for cookie giving the best education- I just find it worrying that she has desirable careers sorted out when some people would find them very undesirable. Nothing at all wrong if she accepts they may use the education for a very different career.

As long as the children are allowed to choose their own subjects and are not constantly pressured to get grades higher than they are capable of.

And as long as no mentions it being 'a waste of money' if the choose to go to art college, become a science teacher etc etc

I know personally several people who have had high flying careers in the City and have given it up for something they found more satisfying.

Yeah but I know plenty who are still working in then city and happy as Larry.

I also know lots of people in low paid work who are miserable as sin but can't give it up because they don't have a financial cushion.

The truth is we set all being squeezed both in terms of resources and work. The perfect storm.

Our DC will feel this whatever sector they work in.

CookieDoughKid - I very much agree that to compete internationally for globalised jobs it is vital to be equipped with several languages, excellent quantitative skills and to have a proven track record of accomplishment through extra curricular. Plus a whole host of social skills.

Most UK schools don't enable the study of languages and of maths and science to a high level up to 18.

Of course lots are happy! Cookie is obviously happy for a start! Lots thrive on it. We are all different. My word of caution is that you can't assume your children see it the same way. If you are lucky they do.

Several languages are an advantage for anyone.

Fair dos mehit it's just that onN there is often a pervading suggestion that those in high paid work are unhappy and stressed.

It's a very easy way to keep those jobs within a certain group; convince the others that they wouldn't like it.

Languages are certainly A Good Thing. But are they essential?

We're lucky that English is still the basic language of global business.

Certainly DH works all round the world with no more than ' dos cervezas' under his belt .

And my friends children have manged to score jobs with the usual suspects with only a GCSE French to their name.

I know plenty of Americans and Brits whose finance careers have come unstuck mid-career because they lacked the language skills to conduct business in uncharted territories. I also know people who weren't the absolute top of the bunch initially whose careers overtook others thanks to their language skills.

IME language skills are not something that is required consistently throughout a career but have a lot of VA overall. Also, if you speak a couple of languages, learning a new one as required in your forties or whatever won't be hard.

The "names" in any high finance firm might need languages and MBAs and all that guff
BUT
look at the numbers on the payroll / subcontractors who actually keep the place going.

• cleaners
• cooks
• building maintenance
• data storage
• back room software
• drivers
• travel planners
• secretarial
• concierge
• office supplies
• security

THOSE are the jobs that are off the radar for all the posh London selective schools
yet without people willing to do them - almost all from non selective state schools - the cosy little bubble would collapse around you all.

REMEMBER that before you slag off a school that provides an education to the 40% who may not get stellar GCSEs
but know how to keep your car on the road.

Support staff are not "the people who keep the place going".

But unless you're fluent having a language is pointless. No way could you survive in a cut throat business that required speaking an alternative language on limited language.How many people are top notch fluent in a variety of second language?

Also surely it must vary.In IT the ability to code would come above being able to speak a handful of languages not very well.Being able to order a coffee in German,French and Italian ain't going to do you much good if your coding skills are so shite they've just cost your company thousands.Unless you're on the coalface so to speak and having to speak other languages I don't get the importance. Obviously some jobs will require that but many won't.

I know masses of people who are totally fluent (C1/C2) in 3/4 languages. Where I grew up it was normal.

But they may be very lacking in other areas.Being competent in your field and have a fluent of languages you're fluent in is surely rare.I simply don't think there are huge amounts of people out there competent in everything.

Also you'd have thought that France,Spain and Italy would would be hoovering up all the jobs across Europe considering that second language teaching is much better but their unemployment rates are dire and ours are heaps better and rapidly improving.

And someone who is not a natural linguist but good at coding is far more likely to be successful if they concentrate on developing their skills in the latter.

REMEMBER that before you slag off a school that provides an education to the 40% who may not get stellar GCSEs but know how to keep your car on the road

They may not get stellar GCSE's but they deserve a good education. Not to be stuck in a bad school which will get them E's when they could have had C's. There's nothing wrong with not being one of the 'high flyers', but there is everything wrong with being given bad teachers and an environment so lacking in aspiration that they leave school without the skills they could have had.

I very much agree that to compete internationally for globalised jobs it is vital to be equipped with several languages, excellent quantitative skills and to have a proven track record of accomplishment through extra curricular. Plus a whole host of social skills.

My husband does admissions for a Russell Group university. He says it is notable how his Chinese/Singaporean/non-UK European applicants all have multiple languages, excellent analytical skills and are massively accomplished. They are often streaks ahead of the UK students - very often it is only the UK private school applicants that even come close.

I suppose that it depends with whom you think your children are competing. If you want them to be in the high-flying jobs, or to be able to move easily across the EU/world, you need to be heavily invested in their education and skill acquisition.

They may not get stellar GCSE's but they deserve a good education. Not to be stuck in a bad school which will get them E's when they could have had C's. There's nothing wrong with not being one of the 'high flyers', but there is everything wrong with being given bad teachers and an environment so lacking in aspiration that they leave school without the skills they could have had.

Indeed, but most of the education policy and thought is done by those who ALWAYS assume their kids will make the cut into selective schools
so really do not care about the rest
in fact are willing to pay good money to be segregated from them

Surely it depends on the field.

In IT the British are renowned for being able to problem solve and think out of the box.Last company my dh was in closed down their European office as staff just simply couldn't do the above as well.They got fed up with having to fix their problems.Sure they all had excellent second language skills though.

Language teaching in France, Italy and Spain is not good in normal school settings. However, more parents than in the UK value languages and pay for private tuition (sometimes within bilingual schools).

I also know plenty of tri+ lingual engineers/lawyers/economists. Much rarer among medics however to have language skills.