To feel we are all a little bit too obsessed with education and school?

[TheOddity]

I've seen threads recently about people remortgaging their house for private education, teachers publicly shamed in front of their peers for results beyond their control, people moving house to be nearer a good nursery, and on and on.
I recently moved to another country in Europe. I asked my new neighbour what the local nursery was like as that's where we intended to send our son. They said "it's very close and convenient". My spidey senses were tingling, did this mean it was a failing nursery? Next I go to the first parents' meeting. Not a word was spoken about targets, the curriculum etc. it was all about food and naps. In the end section for questions, the questions parents asked were about.....food and naps! He is there now for half a year, it's fine, And hopefully sometimes he is learning. There is one secondary school nearby so everyone goes there and again, it's fine. I am not overly worried my son will fail, because he is bright and I will help him.
I just think, are we all insane in the UK? Is it worth the stress? At the end of the day, if you are worried enough about them to remortgage your house, surely you could just do a bit of homework with them each night and it will all turn out ok? AIBU to think that school is all a bit out of proportion and life is pretty unpredictable unless your parents already own a fortune?

*NOschool could now get away with what some of us had to endure.

We need to remember that and try to not let our experiences prejudice our childrens' chances*

By allowing my experiences to prejudice my views I have two dc in the best school for them. I have enhanced their chances at a decent education and plan to do the same for dd.

That's true Mehitabel. I have regular rants about the schooling near us, and think it is ferociously, insanely unfair that for our DS, we CAN remove him from the system, because we blieve in education and because we can more or less afford to. It is NOT FAIR for those who cannot. It angers me so much that the students who go to the fucking dire local school have nothing better. They deserve better. There is a bit of a local attitude that if you want better it's because you are above yourself. It is a disgrace, that attitude. FGS, I live in England, one of the greatest nations on earth. No child should be failed by their school system in this country.

But there comes a point where they physically may not be able to understand the work set or help with homework.

It's a bit more complicated than winging your way through a fairy tale book of an evening.

look how many parents have to post on MN asking what the homework actually is.

ethics wont help where there's no understanding of a subject.

When I was in secondary school during the 80s no one was really bothered about the school you went to or the grades you got at the end. If you worked hard it usually worked out ok although all too many children were left behind.
We are now in a position where we can compare schools by exam results and by ofsted inspections everyone has bought into the belief that by one way or another they have to get their child into the best school rather than looking at what is the best school for their child. I hope less children are being left behind as the schools do seem to realise that it isn't acceptable for children to leave school without any qualifications

I believe In education. doesn't mean I can teach algebra if the school is failing my Dds.

But there comes a point where they physically may not be able to understand the work set or help with homework

Very true but they were still massively supportive-made sure he had the right environment-books etc.
If he hadn't been able to do the homework when he had been in the lesson then perhaps a highly selective school was the wrong place for him!!
It is the child who is supposed to be doing all the work and not his mother!

I gave up biology before O level - my child is taking it at A level.
So I am a chocolate teapot on helping with homework directly.

What I can and do do is provide a supportive home working environment.

I'm not talking about the parents doing the work.

but kids do sometimes like to show us what they or doing or have us test them on something or hell even just talk about it.

sometimes they need a bit of help determining what the question is as there's no denying homework can be very ambiguously written. [ see previous homework threads].

I'm just saying that it's very naive to think that attitude is enough. try maintaining an attitude when the school is failing to teach properly or support more or less able pupils.

It's not as simple as parents just being behind you.

I think it's out of control too. We're not in the UK and it felt like a weight was lifted when we moved. The attitude to school where we are is that you work hard, but the evenings and weekends children are not expected to do homework, they are expected to play and spend time with their families. There's got to be balance.

Giles - it does matter that kids with low aspirations are all crowded together in the same schools, where they happily undermine themselves and each other

I don't understand blaming in take all the time

In schools, as far as I am aware they get streamed?

If your in top sets you are not actually spending your time with those in the bottom.

Why should a child take responsibility for another child's learning and development?

How can a child do this? How can a child try and un do feelings of hopelessness and apathy probably set in from birth?

What are teachers roles, and head teachers role? Surely its their job to inspire and help children from such backgrounds, not another childs?

We are in a MC area and we still have shite and awful comps.

but kids do sometimes like to show us what they or doing or have us test them on something or hell even just talk about it.

I think they were quite capable of that! They were not thick but when you were born in 1920s you did not get opportunities that you get today.

I'm just saying that it's very naive to think that attitude is enough. try maintaining an attitude when the school is failing to teach properly or support more or less able pupils.

It wouldn't have been enough if it was a failing school and they were having to teach him. He was at a very good, highly selective school and so it was quite adequate.

I do think that people are muddling up attitude with attainment. My great grandfather was a labourer all his life, but I bet he was better read than many posters on here.

Muskey. You are so right about no one being 'bothered' in the 1980s . I failed my 11+ (can't even remember taking it) and it was assumed that the worst school in Kent was the right school for me. However, lets be truthful the education in the 'state' sector was awful in the 1980s if you did not fit in to 'boxes' regarding learning. I obviously had many 'learning' difficulties 'Autism/Dyspraxia, Dyslexia which was totally undiagnosed by anyone,.

It is therefore a 'very good' thing for pupils that the "laissez-Faire" attitude of parents about their child's education has gone. The belief of parents that whatever the school or teachers said was/is right, needs to be questioned especially if your child does not fit in a box.

Anyone who has spent any time in schools will know that what makes a school good or bad is not just down to intake.

That's a nice easy explanation but it ain't the full picture.

Things that have an impact on schools include the management, the staff, the disciplinary procedures, the resources etc etc.

Sorry I have no intention of basing my school choices for my dc on raising the aspirations of others.What is best for them will always come first.

I dont think you could raise aspirations anyway, I think thats the job of teacher and heads.

Things that have an impact on schools include the management, the staff, the disciplinary procedures, the resources etc etc

Yes, and when bad schools are turned round, bad schools in deprived areas, its exactly these points ^ Word raises, that are highlighted as used to sort them out.

They don't say " oh yes we turned round this failing school by booting out all SN/fsm and getting good MC dc intake in"

Anyone who has spent any time in schools will know that what makes a school good or bad is not just down to intake

Exactly. You can sit confident that you are in a good catchment area for when your 7 yr old turns 11yrs and it can be a completely different school by then!

There are three schools on a nearby town. All comps. All in a very middle class area.

One is great.
One is good.
One is not good.

Same intake. But all three run very differently.

Jimmychoos
Very few schools stream - streaming is a nasty system.
Setting is a different method
where kids of all backgrounds at acomp will interract because the top athletes and the best musicians and the best cooks will not be the same people as the best mathematicians.
Yes, socially like will stick with like, but in a Comp, the bright but poor get a chance.

You say your comps are shite and awful.
In what way - and please do not quote me raw GCSEs as they are not comparable with those of selective schools.

My local school was in the bottom 200 in the country, 15 years running. THAT is shite.

Interacting in the canteen is not the same as interacting in class and ime kids become friends with and spend time with kids in their sets ie the top and bottom set kids don't interact much at all.

talkin of the three schools I mentioned one still streams ( they call it something else but it's streaming ).

It's not the worst of the three but it ain't the best either.

word I know some do - one of the feeders for DDs college does. I still do not like it as it does not get the best out of everybody

No I don't like it either.

I can see it helps with time tabling but still...

One is great.
One is good.
One is not good.

Same intake. But all three run very differently.

And in 2/3 yrs time they could all be entirely different.

but with modern timetabling software there should be no need - its not like the old paper systems they had when we were at school

My sons have friends in top and bottom sets (private academically selective day school).

There will always be some schools and some parents better than others. That is just how life is and all we can do is what we think is best based on our principles whether that be free time, no school, home schooling or the opposite extreme or something in the middle.