To wonder where you stand on flowers being delivered to work....

[Behindthepaintedgarden]

from DPs and DHs for Valentine's day. Is it romantic or show offy? I can't decide.

I always have a moment of envy if someone at work receives flowers as DH just doesn't do them, then I give myself a bit of a grip by remembering all the other lovely things he does which are better than flowers as they just die anyway

I'd die of shame.
I'm a professional person and my personal life and my working life do not mix.

I would absolutely hate it. So did the only woman I know who this happened to. Probably because everyone knew she was shagging the boss apart from her poor dh.

I think it is lovely when if happens to other people. I would hate it if my DH did it to me. But the only reason I wore a veil on my wedding day was because I couldn't stand the idea that everyone would look at me. I'm weird.

I sent my brother flowers to work on his birthday when he was going through a messy and acrimonious divorce. He said it really lifted his spirits and set tongues wagging!

To me it's desperately un-romantic as it's so cliche and impersonal. A one-size-fits-all gesture.

Gifts with meaning and given spontaneously are truly romantic. D'aw.

I've had this a few times and never minded. Not Valentine's Day though and from friends as well as partners.

There is a lady at work who receives ostentatious bouquets every fortnight from her newish partner, now dh. He brings them in himself and she has to go to reception to collect. He's been known to bring in picnics. And the worst bit, actually proposed to her at a work do in front of us all. Cringey.
I think their entire relationship has red flags all over it

I think it's a step away from marking someone with you scent - it's basically saying he/she's mine stay away! I work in an office where lots of people have flowers from their other halves who WORK IN THE SAME OFFICE!!!!

think I agree tbh. They might as well piss up your leg

Jeez Louise. It wouldn't be for me but I wouldn't assume they were sending flowers in an attempt to 'mark someone with their scent'. Some people are bit showy and flamboyant and like public demonstrations of affection. The kind of people who think flash mob proposals filmed and uploaded to youtube are the most romantic thing ever. Bit cheesy but no harm.

My first instinct is to think it's really cringey, but only because of my own experience of receiving totally unwanted and unsolicited flowers at work from an ex. He sent me red roses for Valentine's Day AND a bouquet for my birthday a few weeks later.

We had split up a few months earlier and he knew that I had started seeing now DH and that we worked together. It felt rather as if he was trying to send a very passive-aggressive message to DH "fuck off, I saw her first" and that he wanted all our colleagues to know about it. DH was very grown up and just ignored it but I was fucking livid. I still am actually and it's 17 years ago

I think its nice. Never had it done.

The only time I've witnessed it being embarrassing was one a work colleague got some delivered (not from her boyfriend but from another work colleague) and it was a random day (not Valentines or birthday) so everyone was looking.

She told me that she gave them to her mum for brownie points

Gosh there are some bitter women on this thread.

I've never had flowers sent to me at work.

I don't feel the need to be horrible about those that have by insulting them and their partner.

Would it be different from a friend though?

I remember one Valentine's day the florist coming up my path with a massive bouquet, was so delighted and overcome until he asked me if I could hold on to it for next door as she wasn't in!

My dh has done this quite a few times over the years on Valentine's day because they needed to be signed for and I was obviously not at home! I was really pleased to receive them to be honest and didn't give much thought to the fact I was at work. They actually came in boxes both times so I had a peek then put them in the car. I didn't display them on my desk or announce it to the whole office.

That's exactly what I say gileswithachainsaw

Yes extremely bitter mighty

I think id rather have a night off cooking or he taken out to see a film or have someone else out the washing away or tidy up

but of course nothing says I love you like mutilated dying foliage

I would hate it. An ex once sent them to me at work and I spent all day cringing. I think it is fine if other people get them for anniversaries, birthdays or other special occasions if they like that kind of thing but it's a bit naff on Valentine's day.

a bunch if flowers from a friend who knows your having a hard time brought round with a bottle of wine and some kleenex is different. It says "I'm. Thinking of you" but a partner you live with should be showing you daily through their behaviour and actions how they feel. not making grand gestures to keep up appearances to the public

Bah humbug.

Gosh there are some bitter women on this thread

Aren't there just, MightyMightyToros?

An unpaid intern received flowers in my office. We get a lot of free things so just assumed she'd got them from a grateful client and thought nothing of it except that it was a nice present to get so we all smiled and congratulated her.

All except one person - our overall boss. Her secretary went to the intern and demanded the flowers and then arranged them on the boss's desk. This wasn't the PA's doing, she'd been sent by the boss, who despite being on a good salary, generous expense account and being a freebie-magnet on account of being the boss, was a spiteful greedy bitch.

The person in charge of the intern questioned her gently because she looked a bit glum and found out that her boyfriend had sent the flowers because the girl was having a shitty time at the hands of our overall boss and he'd wanted to cheer her up. What a sweet boy. Not a control-freak or scent-marker.

She marched into the boss's office and demanded the flowers back . I think I love her and him.

a partner you live with should be showing you daily through their behaviour and actions how they feel. not making grand gestures to keep up appearances to the public

Gileswithachainsaw when we were first together DH sent flowers to the office on high days and holidays or just when he felt like it.

It was a completely showy-offy gesture and I loved it.

He doesn't do it any more. However, we've been together 26 years, so I'll let him off.

About five years ago I became conscious that I wasn't pulling my weight chores-wise and asked him how the washing machine worked.

He wrote out a list of instructions. I didn't feel he was spraying on me like a tom cat.

I think the odd grand gesture is to be applauded.

Show-offy; cringe-makingly-so. Makes me wonder who is trying to prove what to whom.

I wonder why people like you feel that way. What a sad outlook on life to think that if someone sends flowers to their loved ones work place they must really have a crap relationship and just trying to prove something to someone.

Why can't it just be that they are trying to be nice and put a smile on the face of someone they love while they are working? I understand people not liking it for themselves but making judgments about someone's relationship based on one thing? that is weird.