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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to worry that 50 shades will lead to more sexual violence

118 replies

magrate · 12/02/2015 09:40

I haven't read the whole book, did find it poorly written and comical. However s and m in something so mainstream just doesn't sit right with me. Seems a step backwards.

OP posts:
MissDuke · 12/02/2015 09:45

Do you think that action films increase the rates of violence? There is already a thread on this btw.

Trapper · 12/02/2015 09:46

Good point. I remember when Frozen was released. Suddenly it seemed as if everyone wanted to build a snowman! I take that as clear evidence that people are unable to think rationally and understand the difference between entertainment and reality. Cinemas should be closed forthwith.

TwoOddSocks · 12/02/2015 09:54

I don't think there's anything wrong with S and M, I don't really care if it's "mainstream" or not (I don't really care either way about other people's sex lives). From what I've read (I promise :)) I think the S and M community are very big on consent and making sure both parties are happy at all times. I thought they were mainly very against the book because it showed what they're into as abusive.

I think the vast majority of men understand the need for consent etc but there are definitely a minority (probably of women too) usually not very socially aware who think they have to be assertive to attract women and we secretly all want to be dominated. I think there should be a strong voice countering the kind of relationship that's portrayed in that book.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 12/02/2015 10:00

The front page of the Times yesterday was 'Almost half of teenage girls coerced into sex acts'. 2/5ths suffer pressure or violence.

Do I think one film changes behaviors massively? No.
Do I think it will contribute to a drip-drip message kids are getting that women don't know their own minds and/or are up for it all the time.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 12/02/2015 10:00

I forgot to answer my own question!
Yes, I do.

pineappleshortbread · 12/02/2015 10:05

This has already been down BTW and yabu. Plus to link S & M to general violence is a little offence people who practice bdsm do so with consent

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 10:07

I bought the book at the airport before a flight at the insistence of a friend. I read about a quarter before I bined it. It's shit. It's repeatative and badly written.

I don't think it's going to encourage DV but I do think if sexual violence is happening it could normalise it.

Who the fuck wants to get fisted? Hmm

JohnFarleysRuskin · 12/02/2015 10:15

I do think if sexual violence is happening it could normalise it.

I agree.

kittentwo · 12/02/2015 10:16

as the french have given it at 12 certificate can't help but think people in this country like to get there knickers in a twist over nothing. Of course it won't lead to an increase in violence utter nonsense

pineappleshortbread · 12/02/2015 10:16

Maybe but it probably won't cause those who wouldn't be sexually violent to suddenly decide to do it

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 12/02/2015 10:18

QueenLiz there is no fisting in 50sog, have you read it?

pineappleshortbread · 12/02/2015 10:19

Good point there isn't any fisting ha I hadn't even picked up on that Grin

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 10:19

Yes I did about two years ago , wasn't it on the list of things she had to sign off on? If though she didn't sign it it was still expected ...

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 10:20

And as I stated I didn't read it all because it was shit. Cheap thrill for bored house wives ...

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 10:20

Even though*

pineappleshortbread · 12/02/2015 10:21

It may have been mentioned as a word but never done plus fisting isn't sexual violence on its own just like bdsm and s and m aren't sexual violence on their own. It is only violence when there is no consent

DioneTheDiabolist · 12/02/2015 10:23

YABU.

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 10:29

I never said fisting was sexual violence on its own. The whole bloody book is about it.

MephistophelesApprentice · 12/02/2015 10:29

Increased portrayal of sexual activity in media correlates with lowered incidences of sexual violence within society.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 12/02/2015 10:33

So you read one quarter of one book in a trilogy? And now you assume it's all fisting and violence. I think to an express a measured view it's handy to read the entire book. Hmm

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 10:33

He has angry anal sex with her then leaves her crying.... Yep sounds like consent was given there...

And I'm sure he damaged her ribs but I could be wrong. It's unplesent and that's why I couldn't be arsed finishing it off, people that get off on that or romanticise it need to get out more.

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 10:38

james reading the whole book did not interest me one bit. I got the measure of the book rather quickly. Do I care about s bloke that has ordered that his submissive not look him in the eye while he is fucking her.. No sorry I dont. I don't need to read two, three books in to find out all he really is a messed up abused little boy and wait for his softer side to come out.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 12/02/2015 10:39

Grin Ah well, your loss.

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 10:45

ah well your loss - hardly.

If Christian Grey was a Bin Man, had teeth missing and a bald patch and give that list to his new girl friend and was that sexually agree dive he would be locked up and called a pervert. But because he is a billionaire and handsome - it's sexy and romantic Confused

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 10:45

*agressive