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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to worry that 50 shades will lead to more sexual violence

118 replies

magrate · 12/02/2015 09:40

I haven't read the whole book, did find it poorly written and comical. However s and m in something so mainstream just doesn't sit right with me. Seems a step backwards.

OP posts:
JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 12/02/2015 10:51

Well if you look at the bdsm community it isn't all made up of attractive billionaires, but there are still a hell of a lot of people out there having consensual fun! Should we lock them all up for daring to have anything other than tepid vanilla sex?

worksallhours · 12/02/2015 10:58

What is it with this 50 shades panic? Confused

You know what really is leading to a very worrying increase in sexual violence and dodgy sexual behaviour? The prevalence of hardcore porn and torture porn on the damn internet, and the sheer ease of access to this material for young men -- to the point where some young men now think it represents "normal sex".

Honestly, worrying about 50 shades of smudge is pretty much like fussing over the curtains when the house is on fire.

kittentwo · 12/02/2015 11:03

Exactly worksallhours

JohnFarleysRuskin · 12/02/2015 11:07

Its just unfortunate isn't it, that The prevalence of hardcore porn and torture porn on the damn internet, and the sheer ease of access to this material for young men -- to the point where some young men now think it represents "normal sex". collides with a major block buster mover targetted at women based on a book presenting an abusive relationship as a love story.

No panic, just, 'sbit grim, that's all.

Almost half of teenage girls now coerced into sex acts (rates far higher in the UK than elsewhere). Perhaps people think that comes from nowhere and has nothing to do with our society, I don't know.

Brandysnapper · 12/02/2015 11:13

tepid vanilla sex
Yawn. That's being very tolerant of difference isn't it. So there is something wrong with people who don't want to dominate/submit, we just don't know what we're missing out on? Now what does that sound like?

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 12/02/2015 11:15

Well exactly, it's not black and white is it? You might say human sexuality is fifty shades of...

I'll get my coat. Grin

IrianofWay · 12/02/2015 11:17

Worrying about Fifty Shades is perfectly rational as part of the gradual shift in the media as a whole.

someonestolemynick · 12/02/2015 11:18

Well john, hard core and rape porn is available in pretty much all countries don't the internet. It's called the world wide web for a reason.

The set up of British society with its reluctance to talk about sex and were saying no is outright rudeness might contribute.

Books and films ate fiction and don't turn people into rapists on their own.

vinegarandbrownpaper · 12/02/2015 11:20

Kinky bin sex!

JohnFarleysRuskin · 12/02/2015 11:21

Books and films ate fiction and don't turn people into rapists on their own.

Has anyone said otherwise, Someone?

VoyageOfDad · 12/02/2015 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCrimsonQueen · 12/02/2015 11:30

You need to find something else to worry about. I'm sorry I don't wish to be rude, but really!

Sparklingbrook · 12/02/2015 11:33

Can we have a 50 SOG topic? For something everyone seems to want to ignore and boycott there are a lot of threads about it.....

pineappleshortbread · 12/02/2015 11:39

Queen he did have angry anal sex with her in the first book
She asks for anal later on and suggests it too him nd they start slowly like your suppose to

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 11:39

I'm not worrying or in a panic and I agree with john it is grim.

Vanilla sex Grin

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 11:42

pinapple well the angry anal sex that left her in tears (rape) was worth it then if she 'got' to like it in the end. Nothing like a bit of anal to appease your man!! Wink

pineappleshortbread · 12/02/2015 11:47

There is no anal in 50 shades at all the only anal that ever happens is in later books when she suggests using a button plug and he says they need to start with a finger. NO ANGRY ANAL SEX

KidLorneRoll · 12/02/2015 11:55

It certainly might lead to more "literature" with absolutely no merit whatsoever.

pineappleshortbread · 12/02/2015 11:58

We could do with more literature with any kind of sex in at because at least then people are discussing different kinds of sex. Being open about sex does make things better

FreudiansSlipper · 12/02/2015 12:03

Unfortunately it plays into the notion that women have to step up to keep their man happy so he will not stray

FreudiansSlipper · 12/02/2015 12:04

Yes I do agree with you

Fine it that is what you are in to and have a full understanding of what it is about not so fine if it's something you do because it is expected of you

Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 12:05

pineapple your right - I appologise BUT he does have angry sex with her that leaves her crying. Where in that is the romance/love/tenderness?

It's scenes like that - that are damaging to our young girls. That is not normal OR healthy.

pineappleshortbread · 12/02/2015 12:07

She shouldn't be crying no but not all sex is loving tender and romantic and maybe that should be discussed and that it is okay to enjoy rough sex that may not be those things as long as it's what you want

JohnFarleysRuskin · 12/02/2015 12:10

We could do with more literature with any kind of sex in at because at least then people are discussing different kinds of sex.

There is masses and masses of erotica out there. An incredible amount. Fifty Shades of Grey did not invent sex writing by any means although it may be the first for many people to read.
(Unfortunately)

Owllady · 12/02/2015 12:10

When did vanilla become a term to describe sex/relationships?
I've always been much fonder of vanilla ice cream and I'm perplexed that it's seen as a boring thing? Chocolate ice cream is just horrible, strawberry even worse. Neapolitan ice cream, is just wrong
Mint choc chip is ok, I suppose
Proper vanilla though is just the nicest imo
Carry on, as it were