Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to ask how wanky hiring a tutor for your DCs really is?

127 replies

Sharpelbowsornot · 11/02/2015 20:14

Because I've always thought it, well, not that big a deal, but a wee bit wanky, maybe because I only know people who already spend a ton on their DCs education and then pay for a tutor on top.

And now I am considering it for one particular subject myself. (For a DC in state education.) I can't really afford it, but it would only be for a limited time.

So, tutoring: is it a legit top-up to their regular education, or a sharp-elbowed way of shoving your pfb to the front?

OP posts:
Highedserf · 11/02/2015 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 11/02/2015 20:32

we used a tutor, not for GCSEs (because that would have been a waste of money since she literally threw them) but when she retook a subject she had always struggled with as her last chance saloon at age 18

she still failed it, but at least I know we did what we could and she tried harder that time

AnyFucker · 11/02/2015 20:34

we paid less than 20 quid for a newly qualified teacher

Flimflammer · 11/02/2015 20:34

Sharpelbows I googled local tutors and got a site where you could look at profiles of different people near you and choose for yourself. We got a real old school man, just about to retire. He had engineering and maths degrees and about 30 years experience. Worth every penny.I didn't realise that universities can ask for certain GCSE grades as part of entry requirements, and my sons secondary required certain grades usually at least a B, if you want to take the A level.

Flimflammer · 11/02/2015 20:36

It was The Tutor Pages we used.

AnyFucker · 11/02/2015 20:40

we rang the local high school and asked if anyone did tutoring and got a call later that day

Lagoonablue · 11/02/2015 20:42

My DD is in a class of 37 and is struggling. The tutor helps her confidence and gives her the support she doesn't seem to get at school.

ReturnfromtheStars · 11/02/2015 20:43

Ask your child. I am tutoring a really bright teenager who actually asked for a tutor herself. Also if not through an agency you might be able to negotiate the price (but you are also taking greater risks in terms of the tutor's ability and have to chase references yourself).

fluffyraggies · 11/02/2015 20:43

I found a maths tutor for DD3 when she was in yr 10. I just googled tutors in my area OP. IIRR i went through a sort of database onto which the tutors put their credentials.

I payed £23 for an hour every Wed after school. DDs confidence surged at maths within a few weeks, and her test results at school shot up. Her shite maths teacher tried to take the credit for DDs grades going through the roof. (About 30% of the kids in her maths class took tutoring to get them through the GCSE). All in all DD had the extra tutoring for about 9 months of yr10. Then we had to bite the bullet and stop the lessons. It was a struggle to afford them. She wouldn't have passed her exam without them.

The principal of having to do this appalled me. But DDs education was more important than principals.

arethereanyleftatall · 11/02/2015 20:48

It's only wanky if you're only doing it to show off to your friends competitors.
If you're doing it in the best interest of your child, with a realistic idea of their capabilities, it's fine.

Spybot · 11/02/2015 20:48

If I can afford it, I will use tutors to help my kids fulfill their potential. No apologies to anyone. Also, say you have a child who really loves maths, he is exceeding requirements for his year and he wants to do more. Would it be "wanky" to indulge his natural interests by using a tutor to broaden his knowledge?! Or a gift to him?

calmexterior · 11/02/2015 20:48

I don't like the idea of using one to get into grammar school. But, if your child is geared to grammar school but doesn't get in because everyone else has used a tutor to learn how to pass the exam....that would be hard to swallow.

engeika · 11/02/2015 20:51

Sorry, surely you help your DC with all sorts of things.

Do you pay for nice haircuts so she looks good? Give her pocket money so that she can keep up with her friends, (not everyone does), have a nice home that she /he can bring friends back to to help them socially, pay for swimming lessons whatever. We all do the best for our DCs and give them what we think they will need. Whether it is tutoring or something else if it is something that helps and we can do we generally do it.

arethereanyleftatall · 11/02/2015 20:53

The fairest way of doing it would be to ban tutors. That way the rich kid can't get an advantage over the poor one. But then you'd have to ban parental help too. Which is both silly and impossible.

littlebritain · 11/02/2015 20:53

Some might think I am wanky for getting a maths tutor for my boys who are currently studying GCSE and A level. They can think what they like. Personally I don't know why it would be considered wanly to invest in your children's education in order to help them maximise their potential.

NimpyWWindowmash · 11/02/2015 20:54

Wankiness not relevant.

Just do it if needed.

Try to care less what other people think of you Grin.

NimpyWWindowmash · 11/02/2015 20:56

The thing is, nobody likes other people's kids to have unfair advantages shch as private schools or tutors.

For their own kids it is ofcourse different

RiverTam · 11/02/2015 20:59

I thought the thing about tutoring for grammar was because not at state primaries were teaching what the grammars expected, so it was to fill in those gaps - rather than try to get a child who simply wasn't bright enough to keep up in a grammar into the school in the first place? Which makes sense.

Anyway, if you think your child would benefit then who cares if anyone thinks it's wanky? Your child, your money, your decision.

3boys3dogshelp · 11/02/2015 20:59

I had a tutor for chemistry a level and maths a level. I needed As in both to get into uni. In the tiny rural sixth form college i had to attend (3 buses to anywhere else!)I was the only student predicted above a D. I am far from a genius but i spent my lessons explaining stuff i had learnt at gcse to my classmates. If i hadn't had a tutor i would have not on the course and not had the career i do.
I am very grateful to my (pushy) mother for getting me a tutor!
If you can afford it op it really can't hurt.

RoadRunner123 · 11/02/2015 21:00

I remember reading on here once that a tutor is just that....a tutor. You aren't taking them to see a magician. They are helping your child learn no trickery is taking place..that's all there is to it.....they spend a few more hours learning with someone qualified to teach the right / appropriate things!

funnyossity · 11/02/2015 21:02

I want my children to have enough skills in Maths and English to take them onto the next level be it apprenticeship or FE. It's not a massive ambition. And it's not about getting one over on anyone else. So I'll help them myself, my DH helps and where we were not getting through anymore we opted for a tutor.

Scrounger · 11/02/2015 21:09

We use one for DS who is in year 3 for maths. He hit the expected level for the school but had significant gaps in his understanding. He spends his time playing games so enjoys it and he has come on amazingly. She tailors it to him and what he has been covering in class or is having difficulty with. For maths he needs all the building blocks oin place or he will find it difficult as he goes through school. His confidence has really increases. We are in a grammar area and I'm thinking of tutorig for that just so that he has seen the papers in advance.

fluffyraggies · 11/02/2015 21:09

learning with someone qualified to teach the right / appropriate things!

Which is frankly what they should be getting by going to school Angry I was so pleased with DDs tutor. DD passed her exam, and even started to enjoy going to her extra maths lesson! But when i think of how much money we spent (apx £800 all told) it makes my eyes water. As someone has said - the tutor was no wizard, just a decent teacher! We went without a lot of things to pay for it. And yes, i think of the parents who just could not have afforded it. It's not right.

Dunkling · 11/02/2015 21:12

My 17 year old son has a tutor at the moment. It could make the difference to getting the grade in the one subject that would get him into the uni of his choice regardless of his other grades, or opting for second best. If that is wanky, then I'm a wanker.Hmm

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 11/02/2015 21:15

I have a math tutor for my son in year 4 who isn't struggling, he just likes math and was excited at the prospect of doing extension for an hour a week.

The great thing about a tutor (for an able student) is that they can leave the less exciting groundwork to the classroom and focus on more interesting and creative problem solving (like probability, for example). It strikes his interest. I wouldn't be upset if anyone thought it was wanky.