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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For considering letting DD(16) go to a weekend festival?

48 replies

ThatsHandy · 11/02/2015 06:26

DD is 16, final year of school. She has asked if she can go to a (local- nearby city) weekender festival in the summer with two good friends, camping in a tent. Her boyfriend will also be there with his cousins (separate tent) so I know she'll be in a big group. They're all good kids, I've had a lot to do with all of them over the years and they're all sensible (well, AFAIK..!) and get on great. DD and BF have been together two years; he is a year older than her and working.
Basically I don't know if I would be being unreasonable to ask her to wait another year to go. Technically, she is allowed to leave home, get married, get a job etc so is it silly of me to try and stop her?
I'm just curious; have any of you been in this situation?
For the record, I trust her; we have a good relationship and talk about sex/drugs/ alcohol etc. She is really into the bands that are playing there so I have no doubt it is all about the music.
Plus my brother lives a ten-minute drive away from the festival location, so in case of an emergency he could be there straight away.
What do you think?

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 11/02/2015 06:37

i let mine so I cannot agree you make her wait, oth dd was 17 and went with a large group, she loved it, but had experience of concerts anyway.
ds was 16 i think but parent with hus gf and her mum but i think had along leash
what sort of concert might make a difference? #reading is full of post gcse teens

Joshuajosephspork · 11/02/2015 06:40

Let her go. It sounds an ideal 'first time'. I went to Switzerland on the train for a fortnight with two friends at that age.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 11/02/2015 06:43

I went to Reading festival for the first time the summer after GCSEs, so I was 16. I went in a group. We were fine.

Original poster
ThatsHandy · 11/02/2015 06:45

Thanks so far for these replies; I kind of think she is old enough to go, and she has never really done anything to make me not trust her so I would probably be unfair to refuse her...

OP posts:
Original poster
ThatsHandy · 11/02/2015 06:47

Horace:it's LeedsFest

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 11/02/2015 06:48

Yes, it's fine to let her go.

CuttedUpPear · 11/02/2015 06:53

It makes a bit difference which festival.
Reading, I would say no. I worked there for years and saw too many alcohol and drug related casualties to allow my children to go. The tradition there is for big groups of lads to get completely wasted and go on a destructive spree.

Glastonbury, Beautiful Daze, Sunrise, End of The Road and many other smaller festivals have a culture of people looking out for each other on the campsites.

Don't believe that stuff about separate tents though - festivals are where these things happen so make sure she has contraception and knows what to do if she vomits if she's on the pill.

SummerHouse · 11/02/2015 06:53

You sound like the kind of mum I look to for advice and she sounds like a sensible girl. Security is good at these places. I would just say don't take anything you would not want to loose. Its a brilliant opportunity for her and she will have a ball.

cathyandclaire · 11/02/2015 06:58

I think it's a kind of right of passage thing after GCSEs to go to Leedsfest, my 16 year old's going too.

I do feel nervous but it seems pretty well run and hopefully safe, although I walked through one of the campsites a couple of years ago and was horrified at the state of it. I was tempted to nip home for my marigolds and a load of black bin bags.

We live quite near... Any problems send her round mine for a hot bath and a bacon sarnie Grin

silverstreak · 11/02/2015 06:58

I would let her go. Sounds as safe as it could get in the circumstances! :)

Original poster
ThatsHandy · 11/02/2015 06:59

She is already on the pill. I was pregnant at 15 and very rebellious. I really try to make sure DD learns from my experiences, so I am very open and honest with her.

OP posts:
arlagirl · 11/02/2015 06:59

She will love you forever.

TheWitTank · 11/02/2015 08:25

Yes, let her go. I remember going to see Oasis at Knebworth when I was a teen with my mates. It was amazing and I will remember it always. It's one of those things that defines your teen years (well, it was for me anyway!) .

pbwer · 11/02/2015 08:53

Get her a pack of three. As she is on the pill I presume she is already in a sexual relationship with the BF, but because she is on the pill he won't be thinking of bringing johnnies.

If she does puke then she has the johnnies as a backup. ( yes i know the other option is not having sex but, y'now its a festival )

hellsbells99 · 11/02/2015 09:22

I think my 2 DDs are both going to Leeds festival - they will be 17 & 18 by then. Lots of their friends went last year.

Mylittlepotofjoy · 11/02/2015 11:02

My daughter first went to Leeds festival at 15 with a large group of friends. He brothers went separately at 16 . We drove her there and picked her up after. She had a great time !!!! She's now 22 and has been all over Europe with friends and is off to South America soon. I hope your daughter has a great time :)

muffinmonster · 11/02/2015 13:16

Another vote for letting her go. My DD went last year shortly before her 27th birthday and had a great time. She was with a group from school, including her boyfriend, her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend. She had a ball.

I was nervous about it but as you say she is old enough to get married. I had to remind myself that my DD would be leaving for university in just over a year (as it was then).

There were some idiots there but she stayed clear of them.

You trust her and have good lines of communication, and you even have your DB in the wings in case of emergencies.

CaptainAnkles · 11/02/2015 13:20

I started going to gigs and festivals with friends at 14, so I see nothing wrong with it. You know she's in a group and safe and sensible, why shouldn't she go?

FightOrFlight · 11/02/2015 13:21

16 is fine especially as there is a relative living close in case of emergencies.

Both my boys went to weekend festivals by themselves from the age of 15/16 and they were fine. Mind you I'd been taking them to fests since the age of 6 so they were already very 'savvy' in that respect. One of the advantages of having an old hippy as a parent Grin

Nabootique · 11/02/2015 13:28

Agree with CuttedUpPear about depends which festival. I went to my first one with one female friend at 17 but it was V Festival which is very well lit, security watching everywhere from towers the whole time, etc. Very safe. Reading/Leeds was a very different experience. However if she's part of a big group and knows not to go wandering off alone in the dark, etc. (Of course she does) I reckon it's okay.

Mistigri · 11/02/2015 13:32

Check the festival requirements re entrance for under 18s if not accompanied by an adult, as some festivals have much stricter rules than others. I would do this before shelling out for the ticket.

FightOrFlight · 11/02/2015 13:40

Mistigirl

Leeds and Reading only have restrictions for 15 and under - 16 is fine.

Summerisle1 · 11/02/2015 13:46

I'd let her go. Both mine did their first festival weekends at 16 and loved the independence as well as the fun of being in a group of friends.

ladymariner · 11/02/2015 13:47

Ds was 16 when he went to Download with his mates for the weekend, he had an absolute blast. We were a bit worried about letting him go, but we made sure he had emergency money and a fully charged phone, and waved him off.....really glad we did. He went again the following year for the five days, and again, loved it.

Birdsgottafly · 11/02/2015 13:52

I was lucky that I had screen year she gap between mine, so my eldest took my middle DD.

I've always been open about drugs, the tablets about just aren't safe enough to take a chance.

I was always the "Mum" that was contacted if things went wrong. Which stopped any really bad happening.

So I'd say it's more about openness rather than trust. You need to teach your teens how to stay safe.

Going in a mixed sex group is a good safety precaution.