...to ask MN-ers NOT to join in this glorification of domestic abuse? (contains spoilers)

[Floundering]

Fifty Shades of Shite

Can't believe the naivety and abuse deniers on here and amongst my friends.

DV campaigners such as Womens Aid & National Centre for Domestic Violence are urging people not to see this film.

It is not "just a piece of fun" it normalises abusive, controlling relationships as sexy, and it really bothers me so many women are colluding in supporting such crap that could hurt other more vulnerable women.

The BDSM community are frothing too as if done properly between 2 consenting adults with lots of planning, mutual respect and lots of affection and downtime after it can, for some, apparently be mindblowing. ( doesn't lift my skirt but respect those who do enjoy) this is not portrayed safely in this film.

Saying bdsm is sadistic is fine but saying that those who enjoy anything from light whipping to full blown bdsm are sadistic is wrong. I am not a sadistic person because I enjoy whipping. It does not extend beyond the bedroom and does not make me a bad person or morally inferior to people like you

Yes consent is key and the op was consenting. She has told you again and again.

To ignore adult women like this is very patronising but obviously you know the ops relationship better than she does.

Wow just wow.

I did correct flora on that comment and that it wasn't that I said no and he did it anyway it was that I changed my mind after lengthy thought by myself. I say no during sex sometimes but it is understood between myself and my husband that I do not mean it he knows when I truly want him to stop and no boundaries have ever been crossed we have complete trust and it works for us. Not saying anyone should mimic my situation at all

Plus if I was stupid enough to film and someone wanted to prosecute my husband I would defend him by explaining our relationship and I doubt anyone would prosecute when in sound mind the alleged victim defends the accused and will testify in defence

Exactly I am not sadistic because I am the sub my dh the dom does not get pleasure from it is so is not sadistic

But pineapple what if you looked through your window and fantasised about whipping your next door neighbour surely that's illegal? Or the same as chopping his legs off or strangling him.

Do you not know this?

All of these scenarios have been touted on here.

House do you think it's normal practise for a couple who love and trust each other to feel the need to continually ask each other's consent in the bedroom?

Serious question,

Have you never been in a fantasy situation with a partner that would have been totally killed by that?

If he starts treating her like a princess later then what message is that giving to young women and girls? "Don't worry if your partner seems abusive at first, he'll change".

Why do you assume that young women and girls would be so thick that they believe this fiction reflects real life?

You have manage to distinguish that it is not real life. So you are pretty calling them stupid and clueless.

I by said further up that I was consenting at the time and have said that over and over

I agree house. I have always aww yes discussed with my dh what I like and don't what is acceptable and not and where my limits lie. He knows my boundaries and what I enjoy sometimes better than I do. Just because I personally do not need a safe word it does not make it unsafe

He knows them because I have told him we explore together and he asks if he should do it harder or if it's too much. We have been doing it long enough that I no longer need to specify everytime

Ffs this is still going on?

Tell you what, I'll just pop down the police station shall I?

'Officer my husband did something to me that I wanted him to do, explicitly told him to do and I loved every second of it.

However mn says he's technically a rapist so I guess you better throw the book at him'

And fuck off with your 'safe' words. We haven't got a rulebook on bdsm in the cupboard, we just do what feels nice.

I don't need a safe word. I'm an adult with a brain. If we were doing things such as strangulation or something more physically 'demanding' then I'd have one.

But I am quite capable of messing around with my husband without him accidentally raping me. Believe it or not he is actually capable enough to read a situation and my tone of voice.

Now if you were rape role playing with a practical stranger who you didn't know/ trust implicitly then yes you would be playing with fire there potentially.

Now excuse me while I go spend some quality time with a deranged rapist. I believe he has just finished his crossword.

It is consensual in my house and yes I am aware or proper bdsm practices and if ever asked for advice I would recommend a safe words and signal and to discuss all practices limits and boundaries before hand. I have done my research and just because I don't follow the rules it does not mean that I am ignorant to them

We don't do bdsm randomly or the acts such as whipping randomly in sex we start and end with it if we are both in theood for rougher play. We do vanilla as well and in that context we are aware that no means no I keep the two kinds of sex separate and the rules for each are separate. It is agreed on before we start bdsm that no means yes and he knows when is enough because we have discussed in length.