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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

That other children come round every day to play

36 replies

Yesitismeagain · 09/02/2015 19:36

We live opposite a recreation ground, which is great as my children go out to play on their own or if we have a formal play date the children can go with me.

However, I am not exaggerating to say that every day I have at least 2 children pop round and ask to play. This is because the parents have dropped them in the park and they get bored or cold etc.

The weekends are worse. I just want to wear my pjs and slum it round the house but we are never just our family.

When I politely say no (my child) isn't coming out to play I get it in the neck from my children who love to play with all the friends.

Am I just being a grump?

OP posts:

LondonRocks · 09/02/2015 19:37

For heaven's sake. Just say no and set a new precedent.

Original poster

Yesitismeagain · 09/02/2015 19:38

I have a heavy cold. When each child came out of school and asked if 'so and so' can come and play, I said no because I was ill/too busy etc.

However, I still ended up with two 11 year old boys and a 10 year old boy who just happened to be in the park.

OP posts:

Lepaskilf · 09/02/2015 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phineasferb · 09/02/2015 19:40

Mine do this. I have never considered getting properly dressed. You are in your own place why do you need to?

ImperialBlether · 09/02/2015 19:41

Do you mean the children want to come into your house, or that they want your children to come out to play?

TheDietStartsTomorrow · 09/02/2015 19:43

Are they just random kids who know your dc or are they actual friends? I'd be surprised if so many different children came round to my house claiming to be friends with my dc. They have a circle 5-10 friends each who they meet regularly.

I find it just as hard when my DB drops my nieces and nephews for a few hours on a day when I want to slum in pjs. I love my nieces and nephews but on days when I can just about find the energy to entertain my own DC, I can't be entertaining others.

pictish · 09/02/2015 19:44

I'm not one for having other kids in my house a lot. I do my share of hosting but no more. Yanbu.

googoodolly · 09/02/2015 19:45

I don't get it. If you can't be bothered, surely your kids can go out and play without you? I wouldn't want random kids in my house all the time either, but I would happily send my DC out if the park was opposite my house.

Original poster

Yesitismeagain · 09/02/2015 19:46

A bit of both. If it is cold or wet, they want to come in to play. My children offer their friends to come back 'to their's to play'. I say over and over and over again... nobody to come back.

Every bloody day they bring home people.

Today I was signing for a package at the door and I could hear my 11 year old walking up the driver with a friend. Before he had even walked up the steps I said that nobody could come home as I wasn't well. He looked really ashamed as he had clearly told his friend he could come back and play.

I am happy for my children to go over the road to play in the park alone, but it never seems to work out that way... "mum can X have a drink? ... mum can Y use the loo? ... mum can Z come and see my new toy?..."

It is never ending.

OP posts:

phineasferb · 09/02/2015 19:49

I let them in and say they can play in their room. I lie around in a onesie, with crazy hair playing on my phone. That is what mums are meant to do

Lepaskilf · 09/02/2015 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 09/02/2015 19:50

I think you have to be hardfaced and say, "No, why don't you go round to "friend's" house instead? I'm busy/ill today."

There's no reason why your children can't go to their friends' houses, is there?

Original poster

Yesitismeagain · 09/02/2015 19:55

My house is always a mess, a REAL mess. Think knickers on the floor, something on every step of the stairs, no beds made, poo in the loo (I'm the only person who flushes). I tidy downstairs more than upstairs, upstairs is for my family only.

I can't trust any child to stay in the child's room. I know for a fact that they walk into every room. I am the only one with a full length mirror and my daughter and her friends go into my room regularly.

I don't want some random child I don't know well to find my 'rabbit' in my room?!!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Yesitismeagain · 09/02/2015 19:58

The other week my daughter and I were in the local shop and a mum said shouldn't I be at home with my other children (and her son). This son (who is lovely) had not been invited, he just happened to come round to ours as soon as his mum has driven away from the park.

I said that the boys were home alone as I needed a few bits but if she was worried she could come round and pick him up!!!!!!!

Bloody cheek"!

OP posts:

sanfairyanne · 09/02/2015 20:03

it is entirely up to you

i absolutely genuinely love my kids having other kids over. there are always kids in and out of the house. we have simple ground rules - my bedroom is off limits completely for instance.

ImperialBlether · 09/02/2015 20:10

Your children need to tidy up after themselves and certainly need to flush the toilet after they've used it - could this not be used as an incentive?

grobagsforever · 10/02/2015 06:52

I think YABU. Unless you have circumstances you've not mentioned I think you and your house should be in a fit state to receive visitors. Lovely for DC to have mates over. My mum was always difficult about having ppl over and it made me sad. Chuck your jeans and t-shirt on and pick the knickers up

mimishimmi · 10/02/2015 07:33

I'd have more of an issue with the parents dropping their kids at the park and leaving! Would they hold you responsible if something horrible happened to their kids?

youarekiddingme · 10/02/2015 07:41

I'm another who never feels the need to dress to attention when children turn up! I also live opposite a park.

I just made it clear to DS that if he wanted friends to be allowed free acess to food and drink here or to take shelter here and no where else he had to pay towards it. As he has no money we've found a nice balance.

ihatethecold · 10/02/2015 07:42

I understand your frustration op. It would drive me nuts also.
Why should you have kids over constantly and the favour not be returned.
I do think you and your kids should tidy round though, sorry.

flanjabelle · 10/02/2015 07:45

I don't mean to be rude, but why is your house like that? It sounds really quite gross actually.

I wouldn't want kids constantly in and out of my home either though and would have to have a proper talk with the dc about it. I would tell them that under no circumstances are they to tell children they can come to play without asking you first. I would explain that if they continue, they will be the ones being embarrassed as you will refuse to let them in/ask them to leave/call their parents to pick them up.

If you don't want this to happen you need to be firmer about it.

MumSnotBU · 10/02/2015 07:45

If my dc are home alone they are not allowed other kids round. I know my own dc and trust them to be sensible.

I tell their visiting friends they have to go home when I go out.

Most children do not pass value judgments on the state of your house or what you are wearing, but I find it more relaxing when things are tidy and I am dressed in daytime unless I am ill.

bigbluestars · 10/02/2015 07:47

"My house is always a mess, a REAL mess. Think knickers on the floor, something on every step of the stairs, no beds made, poo in the loo (I'm the only person who flushes)."

Sounds grim tbh.

Bonsoir · 10/02/2015 07:48

Just say no!

Explain to your DC that your home is a private property and your sanctuary, not a warm extension of the public park.

Mrsbird311 · 10/02/2015 07:59

Ah grobag my mum was the same, we lived in a show home but couldn't enjoy it), my house is a free for all, always full of visitors and I wouldn't have it any other way , I love listening to the kids playing and laughing ,

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