That other children come round every day to play

[Yesitismeagain]

We live opposite a recreation ground, which is great as my children go out to play on their own or if we have a formal play date the children can go with me.

However, I am not exaggerating to say that every day I have at least 2 children pop round and ask to play. This is because the parents have dropped them in the park and they get bored or cold etc.

The weekends are worse. I just want to wear my pjs and slum it round the house but we are never just our family.

When I politely say no (my child) isn't coming out to play I get it in the neck from my children who love to play with all the friends.

Am I just being a grump?

Put your used knickers in the washing basket, you dirty besom .

Sounds like your dc aren't getting the message so as pp says you need to have a stern talk about your house not being the local drop in centre - and also about flushing the bloody toilet! If they're old enough to be playing out at a park and posing in front of your full length mirror, then they're old enough to do some housework.

so basically you don,t want folk in because you are lazy and your house a tip .tidy up simple .sorry i can,t understand your point children bring friends back its not there fault you hate housework

We too live opposite a playground. It's annoying as kids always knocking on the door for my boys. But although I feel like grump no is no. I'm not a free childminder. X

Doesn't sound like it's being reciprocated though Aprilanne. It sounds like Mum or Dad are dumping their kids at the park and then telling them to go over to Yesitsmeagain's when it gets dark/if they need something etc..

What about agreeing with the children a particular day of the week where they can invite people back?

And maybe the rest of the time a rule that if they invite people back not only will they not be allowed in, but your children will not be allowed out the following day.

I think that it's only going to stop if you stop giving in once they're at the door. At the moment, your kids know it's quite likely that if they actually come, you'll let them in, so they don't take you seriously.

Yes, I think you're being a grump. I think there's a compromise to be found. I think that it is far too much to be an open house but it's good that your children feel they can bring friends round to their house. Certainly when I was a kid we all used to do that and our parents never gave a stuff. Kids in and out all day. But, you're not me and this isn't the 70s and if it bothers you, it bothers you, so make changes.

We had the same problem when mine were a bit younger as we back on to a park with a gate leading from garden to park. DDs were constantly back and forth with groups of other kids, many of whom I didn't even know, not from the same school

I'm all for friends coming back but it got ridiculous. It was a tradition at their primary school to all pile up the park on the last day of summer term. Well one summer the weather changed suddenly and it started pouring down .... I ended up with about 50 kids in my house. Stressful but my DDs have fond memories of it.

Best put some rules in place I think.

His mother came round to complain that someone was playing a game in a room her son had been forbidden from entering?!

I wonder whether anyone here is going to admit to being one of those mothers, who throw their kids out of doors and tell them to go to another child's house if they need anything.

Crikey OP - if your Dc are aged around 11 they are surely old enough to flush a toilet and help tidy up after themselves a bit? And old enough to remember your repeated requests not to keep bringing all and sundry back.

I think someone upthread had a sensible suggestion about restricting visits to certain days and making it clear they are not to go issuing random invitations on other nights without checking first.

Perhaps, on another tack, if your DC keep insisting on bringing people back you should make them responsible for some of the hassle. They want to bring X back for a drink then they make the drink and wash up the cup afterwards. They have someone in to play then they tidy away afterwards. Properly.

I was the only one of our friendship group who was able to invite friends back any time without checking first, and I remember feeling so smug and proud of my lovely relaxed parents!

However, I didnt live opposite a park and this was mostly only Friday/Saturday nights..

Op maybe make the Dc a chore list and then tell them they can only invite people back when they've done the list, and make a big reminder sign for the loo door!!!