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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

people talking their 1st language at work.

248 replies

ghostspirit · 09/02/2015 17:22

im not going to say anything although sometimes i want to. because i think its rude. there are people at work that can speak English well. but they talk in their 1st language. im sometimes the only one in the room who does not understand. and it makes me feel quite isolated.

OP posts:

SorchaN · 09/02/2015 19:04

I've found that people who speak only English are a bit prone to expecting everyone else to speak English, even if it means everyone else in the room has to speak a second language to include the English-speaker.

I also don't understand why people feel they're being talked about just because others are speaking a different language. Within 100 yards of where I'm sitting right now I could walk into conversations in Welsh, Flemish or Urdu (none of which I speak)... but I don't imagine they'd be conversations about me...

I think you're being a bit unreasonable. Why not try to learn a bit of the language the others are speaking so you can join in?

engeika · 09/02/2015 19:04

Sorry OP - it must be horrible for you.

PrettyFeet · 09/02/2015 19:05

YANBU

Its rude.

angelohsodelight · 09/02/2015 19:05

I think it's extremely rude and unacceptable. I would complain about it.

inabeautifulplace · 09/02/2015 19:09

The example you give of being mid conversation in English then being ignored is pretty rude. I can appreciate that people genuinely need to speak their mother tongue regularly, but it would be nice if they included you occasionally. As was suggested, if you haven't said anything or asked to learn some of their language then they may think you don't want to speak with them.

mrsruffallo · 09/02/2015 19:10

It's rude in the workplace and breeds paranoia. I wouldn't like it.

adsy · 09/02/2015 19:10

Can you learn the other language just like they did?
what a ridiculous statement. What if there are people from 8 different countries working trhere? Should OP learn all 8 languages or maybe the other people should just speak the common language, eh?

Koalafications · 09/02/2015 19:11

Can you learn the other language just like they did?

^^ most ridiculous post on the thread.

OP, YANBU. It's rude.

adsy · 09/02/2015 19:13

I've found that people who speak only English are a bit prone to expecting everyone else to speak English
well if we are talking about people in England, then yes, I expect them to speak English.
You've just said you're within earshot of 3 different languages, you can't be expected to have to learn lots of languages when the default is English in England.

SorchaN · 09/02/2015 19:18

you can't be expected to have to learn lots of languages when the default is English in England

This is exactly the sentiment I disagree with. I think it's imperative that English speakers - not just in England but in the rest of the UK, Canada, the US, Australia, New Zealand and other chiefly Anglophone places - learn to speak other languages. Insisting that everyone always use of English, even in England, looks like cultural imperialism to me.

mrsruffallo · 09/02/2015 19:19

Funnily enough, in a workplace in England I would expect everyone to speak English.

SorchaN · 09/02/2015 19:19

*always makes use of...

SorchaN · 09/02/2015 19:21

Have we established that the OP's workplace is in fact in England? I might have missed a post somewhere...

mrsruffallo · 09/02/2015 19:22

Cultural Imperialism?? English is the language we speak here. How is that cultural imperialism??

adsy · 09/02/2015 19:24

Fair enough to learn other languages if you're going to be going to other countries, but which languages do you recommend we learn to avoid being imperialist.
Urdu? greek? French? Cantonese? Japanese? serbo croat? Portugese? Welsh? Thai? German?
You starting to see why it makes sense for people in England to have a common tongue of English?

mrsruffallo · 09/02/2015 19:28

LOL at th thought of learning everyone's mother tongue in my workplace. I wouldn't have time to work!!

TooManyMochas · 09/02/2015 19:30

...there are people at work that can speak English well. but they talk in their 1st language...

Nothing inherently wrong with that. If two people in a particular workplace happen to be, say, Latvian, then there's nothing wrong with them chatting to each other in Latvian.

I'm sometimes the only one in the room who does not understand. and it makes me feel quite isolated.

That's rude

NoWayNoHow · 09/02/2015 19:31

It's rude and YANBU. btw, if the OP doesn't speak the language, how is she supposed to know whether they're talking work or not?

SorchaN · 09/02/2015 19:35

How is that cultural imperialism??
You starting to see why it makes sense for people in England to have a common tongue of English?

Yes, I do think it's cultural imperialism to insist that everyone uses only English, even in England. It's a real problem that Anglophone countries are so poor at teaching/learning other languages, because it results in the attitude that everyone should speak English. English speakers who have never learned another language have no conception of the difficulties of expecting all immigrants to speak English. And of course, most people in England know very little about the history of the suppression of Welsh and Gaelic in the UK.

I don't think it matters which language people learn as a second language; it's partly about the experience of learning what it's like to try to express yourself in another language. People do this all over the world every day. It's not actually that difficult.

mrsruffallo · 09/02/2015 19:37

Sorcha, have you been to France? South America? Because they all expect you to speak their languages too. I guess every country is culturally imperialistic according to you. I think you are having a laugh.

mrspremise · 09/02/2015 19:37

I'm not offended by this, if my colleagues speak Welsh to each other, I don't immediately think that they might be talking about me. I'm sure that they have better things to talk about! Any more than when I speak in French to my French friend that all we are doing is discussing other people

ouryve · 09/02/2015 19:39

Are these people who never speak English in front of you the same ones who were taking the piss out of you at the end of last year, ghost?

mrsruffallo · 09/02/2015 19:40

I think , if you are in a workplace within an English speaking country, then English should be the language spoken.

littlemonkeyface · 09/02/2015 19:43

YANBU, it is rude, but I have to admit that I've done it myself in the past.

It was not to exclude anybody, but speaking my mother tongue just seemed the more natural thing to do and sometimes allowed us to converse more effectively as some words & phrases, especially idioms are difficult to translate.

Sunny67 · 09/02/2015 19:43

As many others have said, I think it depends on the situation. Depending on the level if English of the people you work with it may well be easier to speak in their 1st language to explain something to one another, work related or otherwise. I work with two East european girls, one of whom is a good friend and to be honest they quite often forget when they're in mid flow that I havent a clue what they've said. We have had some real laughs with translations but we always get there in the end. Maybe they don't realise you feel left out ir that it feels rude to you but unless you mention it they won't.

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