To be told where partner is going when he goes out?

[Mini05]

when partner goes out on his own he never says where he's going.
I've mentioned this and he says your not interested or I don't gave to tell you, I don't ask where your going.he thinks I'm being nosey, I think it's conversation.

So, if you partner/boyfriends/husband goes out does he mention where? Or when he comes back says where he's been.

Mini when he gets back does he tell you where he's been or who he's met ? My DH will tell me if he's met someone interesting or seen something unusual while he's been out. In other words, do you actually know where he goes ?

Or could he be showing earlier signs of Alzheimer and not wanting to show? Or just worried that you might spot any?

First the person I've is if he thought he might have any signs of Alzheimer's he'd be the first to either go to doctors or Google!
If it was depression then no he wouldn't go! He'd deal with it himself!!
He's all for Self help never takes prescription drugs he'd have to be really really ill then he'd read all everything he could about it plus numerous many questions!

Depression - he doesn't seem like he is( we'll certainly don't showing it/saying)
Maybe that's his way of not getting depressed going out! He goes out everyday morning-for few shopping bits bread etc after lunch out again.
After tea he will go for walk for 30 mins done this for last 3 years( he's very fit physically)

If anybody got early signs of Alzheimer's it me( I can't remember things more than him) menopause symptom!!!

Today when he came back I was determine to ask where's he's been so after couple mins said where''d you get to " went for coffee and walk"

is there any sign he is suffering from depression ?

no, he's just fucking rude

The retired older men (60s) I know are a bit like this. They do what they want, when they want, feel no obligation to be sociable if they don't share an interest with the visitor or guest. And they also don't seem smiley or happy, though if you asked them they would say they were fine, in a slightly belligerent way.

I think it explains the rise in divorce rate of older couples.
Something to do with a fall in hormone levels possibly, and/or a fall in station in life.

If you find a solution please post!

Maybe he doesn't feel he needs to tell you because he does the same thing everyday - mornings he goes to the shops, after tea he goes for a walk. Maybe he goes for a walk after lunch too and because he is doing nothing exciting he can't be bothered to tell you voluntarily or politely answer your question. He is still rude though.
However, I think with everything that is going on he could well be depressed or have some other kind of mental health issue.
How does he behave with you normally when you are at home? Can you have a conversation with him or is he similarly non-forthcoming?

If he does tell you where he's going, what's your reaction like? Do you grill him about why he needs to go there, or try to talk him out of going there? If you do something like that, I could see why he might not want to tell you- who would like having to justify it every time they want to go out? Or do you tell him what you want him to be doing instead? If he doesn't want to have those conversations, he might not want to talk about where he's going.

Isn't it standard to say where you're going, without even thinking about it really? Whether its your DH, DCs etc. "oh Im just popping out to shops/to see so & so, see you later". I can't imagine just getting up and going out not a word said. Imagine putting thought and energy into being sure to NOT say where you're going. Thats just wanting an argument and bad atmosphere for the sake of it.

Ive read a bit here & there about some men who are retired and feel a bit lost/purposeless so they either do this, or get under DWs feet trying to micro-manage chores, etc. Its stupid behaviour..so, the DW is the one to be "punished" because of the way DH feels? Why not think well, we have free time now so lets explore the city, find a hobby we can do together, enjoy some leisure time etc. But no - its all about making DW feel like shit.

Id rather make a life, find some hobbies and build good friendships, than put up with that kind of negative bs for god knows how many more years to come. I bet if he were in the house with his DCs or relatives, he'd mention where he was going and likely time he would be back. Complete lack of manners and there's no excuse for it. I really can't bear people who "deal?!" with their issues by taking it out on others..just like that, an assumed god-given right to make someone else feel bad.

Since you live together OP you may as well just let it go just for now, focus on being the best you that you can, what makes you feel fulfilled, and re-visit the subject at a calmer time..he wants you to get angsty about it anyway, so why even get into it. Life's too short for these petty little games, really.

My retired dad does not do this. I am sure it must be a certain type of retired man, then.

He does usually tell me where he is going but sometimes he is out longer then I thought because he has been to x shop that I onew he was going too as well as y and z shops.
He was once very late home from work when I was on mat leave turns out traffic was horrendous on way in and was an hour late so had to stay and make up the time. I told him I was worried he had been involved in an accident so he usually lets me know if he is going to be late.

I'd say it's rude.

I do remember it growing up but as the language of arguments (high interest rate periods and high stress) and in practice both people knew where the other bugger was going, but it was just announced as 'out'.

In general, without argument, I think it's odd. DP and I actually don't turn off 'Find My Friends' so we're maybe over-sharing, but every weekend (when we do meal plan) we have a conversation about when we expect to be in. It's not set in stone but even then it tends to be 'Tuesday I was thinking of the gym' or 'Weds I have a committee meeting' not 'I'm out' - that would be a bit of a conversation stopper....

It's rude and precious to be so ridiculously evasive.

DH and I are old gimmers. We don't stalk off, silently into the sunset like geriatric secret agents. Neither do we need to provide each other with a detailed itinerary, let alone ask permission to go and do anything.

However, it wouldn't occur to either of us to simply leave the house without giving any indication of where we were going. Why would anyone? It's shows a degree of disrespect that isn't really compatible with a good relationship.

Is your DP generally so offhand, OP?

Go on holiday for a long weekend, just you - don't tell him, just go - see what reaction you get