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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be told where partner is going when he goes out?

113 replies

Mini05 · 08/02/2015 13:48

when partner goes out on his own he never says where he's going.
I've mentioned this and he says your not interested or I don't gave to tell you, I don't ask where your going.he thinks I'm being nosey, I think it's conversation.

So, if you partner/boyfriends/husband goes out does he mention where? Or when he comes back says where he's been.

OP posts:
Lweji · 08/02/2015 15:07

I'd find it odd.
You might want to go too, or you could ask him to bring you something you need, or send a message, you might be interested in contacting him should something happen, or wanting to know when he was coming back.
Does he ask if it's ok to leave, or does he just take off?
Do you have children?

Alisvolatpropiis · 08/02/2015 15:11

Gosh, he's a bit precious isn't he! It's just a normal conversation in my house.

PrettyFeet · 08/02/2015 15:11

I'm another one that would think this both rude and odd. Why on earth wouldn't he tell you where he was going? Is he a spy?

Lweji · 08/02/2015 15:17

A spy or having an affair, if it's a regular thing.

AwfulBeryl · 08/02/2015 15:17

This would annoy me too.
A normal conversation in our house would be " I am off out on Saturday with bla de bla", "oh that's nice, where are you off to ? "
I would think it was strange to be told it's none of my business. Quite often we don't know where we're going and will say just that, but I wouldn't hide where I was going and dp wouldn't do it to me either.

I have know blokes like this before, they tend to be the ones who constantly think women are trying to control them by asking them normal questions about their life. It's odd.

dragdownthemoon · 08/02/2015 15:19

We would tell each other the basic facts - I'm popping to the shops, I'm meeting X for a drink. I don't feel the need to say "I'm going to Tesco, then M&S and I might pop into Boots see if there any offers on", or necessarily name the pub/restaurant I'm going to. But if DH asked then I'd tell him.

I'd be cross if DH just said "I'm off out" and refused to tell me even the vague nature of that he was doing.

grumbleina · 08/02/2015 15:31

eh?

If every time he went out I grilled him for ten minutes about where/who/what I guess he might get a bit frustrated, but that's the only possible explanation, I'm grasping at straws for a way to make this not seem weird.

'I'm going to the shop, need anything?'
'Going for a beer with such-and-such, see you later on.' (normally preceded at some point earlier by a 'thought I might go for a beer with such-and-such tonight')
'ugh, gotta go, bye, love you' (to work, as happens daily)

Maybe we're co-dependent or just have really boring lives, I genuinely can't imagine a situation where he'd leave the house and I didn't know basically where he was going. I don't think I'd ever even need to ask.

MrsTawdry · 08/02/2015 15:32

Where is OP? I always wonder why people ask a question and then bugger off immediately!

FoxgloveFairy · 08/02/2015 16:02

My other half and I tell each other where we're off to and for roughly how long. Especially if it affects other plans, eg dinner, or the other one is going out later and needs the car or whatever. If gone for a fairly long time more than advertised, usually a text if poss, or a call. Not about suspicion, just interest I guess, that and planning. What would make me annoyed is "I don't have to tell you". True, but it's called communication. It would be returned in kind.

AnyFucker · 08/02/2015 16:04

Is he a member of MI5?

If not he's being an attention seeking yeat

AnyFucker · 08/02/2015 16:05

twat

Branleuse · 08/02/2015 16:06

hes being very rude and abrupt to you.

Do you usually get on?

PrettyFeet · 08/02/2015 16:16

I quite liked that word "yeat"

Yellow (as in cowardly)
Emotionally
Absent
Twat

Grin
AnyFucker · 08/02/2015 17:00
Smile
MrsTawdry · 08/02/2015 17:10

Cocklodging Yeat. Fucking Emotionally Abusive Yeat.

I love the language of MN too PrettyFeet

Yeat is very satisfying.

MrsTawdry · 08/02/2015 17:11

AF is it a real word? Or a typo?

AnyFucker · 08/02/2015 17:15

auto correct made me do it Smile

StayGoldPonyBoy · 08/02/2015 17:16

I think it's weird. Does he just leave without a word? Even when DH goes out with no real plan he will say 'I'm off into town with x and y, I'll be back by x' Hmm I'd be suspicious! If he told me he didn't have to tell me, like a stroppy teen, if ever I asked, I'd probably tell him he was groundedGrin

Lweji · 08/02/2015 17:18

I think we have a new MN moniker. :)

It also goes with fuckyeat.

MrsTawdry · 08/02/2015 17:25

I think it's a bit yeat that the OP hasn't been back here ONCE since posting!

MrsTawdry · 08/02/2015 17:25

Also...if I say Yeat on other threads and someone here notices...will you please come and say "Stop trying to make YEAT happen! It's NOT going to HAPPEN!"

Grin
AnyFucker · 08/02/2015 17:28
Smile
Lweji · 08/02/2015 17:41

Or... Mrs, could we go and have a contest about who can spread yeat in the most threads?

PrettyFeet · 08/02/2015 18:03

Lets not think we are "that" important though ay.

Mammanat222 · 08/02/2015 18:07

Or... Mrs, could we go and have a contest about who can spread yeat in the most threads?

You could probably use this on almost every thread on the relationships board!!!

So OP disappeared hey?

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