To be beyond furious that DD's Dad can hide so well from CSA?

[TickleMyTitsTillFriday]

They can't find him apparently. Even though he had another child and they will therefore be receiving child benefit. They can't look as it's in his GF's name and they're not allowed due to data protection. Nothing shows up on tax system for him or experien and they have no other way of finding him. I'm so FUCKING ANGRY!

It's terrible isn't it?

Could you possibly afford to use an agency to track him down?

Mine went self employed and fakes his tax returns, so I only receive £4 a week even though he works full time.

Thy are fucking beyond useless ime. A lady i cant even get them to extract the money from her twat ex h despite them knowing where he lives and works. Utterly incompetent.

Oh maybe I could use an agency. Thing is I literally have no idea where he's living. He owes me about 6k. Why can't they search on new gf's details?! They would find him straight away.
Hidden you can report him for tax evasion you know.

I've emailed my MP but would love to know what powers they have to find him.

So sorry you're dealing with this. My ex lives 10 miles away from us, but refuses to pay anything towards the dcs. He's already quit work and moved once, and is now going to be moving abroad, so I haven't even bothered bringing in CSA. No point.

It's irritating, but not nearly as irritating as if I was actively looking for him to pay. At this point I can just ignore it. Less stress for me.

If you have girlfriends name cant you check electoral role then see if he is also living there?

Ooh can i check electoral role? Off to Google. I won't let it go. Ever!

I sympathise. My ex-h owes me 10k. He admits to the CSA he is self-employed but he never banks money and won't set up a payment arrangement.

They can't touch him.

Depressing.

It is annoying and wrong. The only upside for me was that they also couldn't find him when we (dh2) wanted to adopt ds so the court did away with the need for his permission.

This is child abandonment and should be a prosecutable offence

It just is so ridiculous that his new gf can claim cb for their child but thet can't find him as it's in her name?! Where is the sense in that?

Companies House, Land Registry, LinkedIn, Facebook, family members, electoral roll (may need to be searched in person at Council offices). For the sake of 6 grand it's worth doing a serious search.

If my brother was doing this to my DNs then I'd happily reveal his whereabouts to his ex (secretly).

192.com might be your friend here. Also try Facebook - see if he's there. He may be on there and have blocked you so open a new account in a false name and check. Ditto the girlfriend.

I shouldn't admit to this but years ago I made friends with a housing benefit officer. I did him a professional favour and in return he suggested I phoned him in two or three days time. I did and told him I was calling to speak about [ex's name]. His reply was, "Ms PickyPicky, just for the purposes of the Data Protection Act may I confirm that we're both speaking of the same man? That is [ex's name] of The Farm, Country Lane, Small Village in Buckinghamshire B1 ABC, is it?".

I took the ex to a CSA tribunal and won the case.

Sadly the bastard ex then quickly became SE, lied about his accounts and it was deemed he should pay nothing. I'm glad I did it irrespective of the result as it proved to my DC in later years who was the honest parent and who was the liar.

YNBU. OP. Pity the government doesn't spend the same amount of time and effort chasing absent parents as they do in penilising harassing clamping down on single parents. It's always the parent left behind who faces hardship stigma and criticism.
The words easy and target cone to mind!

I reported him to the inland revenue, but I think he's put all their business stuff into his wife's name because I only received a tiny raise.

I hope they split up and she takes the lot. He deserves to end up in a cardboard box. He refuses to send any pocket money to ds and doesn't even pay for his modest phone contract even though he gets ds to call him on his phone

The worst thing? Dd has a little sister she never sees because ex is more interested in avoiding paying. That's the saddest thing in the world. DD's mental health has really suffered from him abandoning her. He is an absolute cunt.

I got a call from CSA in November (after calling myself to try to find out what the hell was going on) telling me that they had "lost" my DS father. I haven't had a payment of anything since August but even then it was only £10 every 2 weeks!
I'm not overly surprised as when ex left, he told me that if I ever made a claim he would quit his job So I would only get a fiver a week. I ended up with no choice as he stopped paying the agreed amount (and stopped turning up to see/take DS out). Even the tenner a fortnight was sporadic. Some months I'd get it some months I wouldn't.

wondering I agree! If I decided tomorrow to stop feeding/clothing/paying for a roof over ds head then I would be charged with neglect.

Hate is such a strong and unpleasant emotion but I really do hate Ds father. It's certainly not all about the money but I'd be lying if i said it's not a part of it. Ds deserves so much more financially and emotionally.

He's a fucking cunt and I hope he has a miserable life and a painful death.

(I'm really not a complete psycho!)

I agree totally with Ilive , why aren't absent parents held more responsible for the children they willingly abandon? The set up in the UK is utterly ridiculous. Other than the CSA/CMS (the latter of which YOU pay to do nothing at all in many cases), if you were never married your hands are completely tied, there is no other agency available to help. It's exasperating.

It's pretty much the same here (US). Fathers move, stall, quit jobs, work for cash, go on benefits, etc. Enforcement workers know this & I'm sure they feel at times that it's all just an exercise in futility. It's wrong, but I think they just feel 'why bother' and so cases fall through the cracks. Especially if the father has a history of quitting work or has a slew of children.

BFF's ex was a carpenter, he told her if she tried to get support he'd quit his job with a construction company as a foreman rather than pay 'her' one penny. And he did exactly that. Worked smaller jobs for cash or short term jobs where by the time they found him, the job was over. He went from a comfortable life to hand to mouth, but he'd rather do that, lower his own standard of living, than pay support. Disgusting.

It's disgusting that NRP who actually pay maintenance to support their children are in the minority. Including my ex-h. Despite the fact that I walked away from the marriage with nothing, he simply can't afford it. (Not while he continues living in the 3-bed family home and redecorating for his new GF and buying 2nd and 3rd vehicles, anyway...)

It is absolutely outrageous that people can hide from the CSA and not bother to pay for the children they create, but that said, I don't think it would be fair to trace him through his girlfriend, and I do think fathers should be able to opt out of parenthood in the same way that women can in the early stages of pregnancy.

There should be some sort of system that makes NRPs liable for any half of the child related benefits that some single parents get, so that as long as they don't pay they build up a debt with the government that they are liable for until it is paid off, even into the child's adulthood. If they can find and chase people for tax owed, then they can find and chase people for benefit repayments and maintenance.

Why would it be unfair to trace him via hid girlfriend? Opt out of parenthood!?

look on the bright side, you are the one with full custody of your lovely DC, and he is the one missing out.

Good idea about looking up his gf on the electoral role. Could you not ask any of his relatives where he's living. It's annoying how people (I won't say men!) can opt out of providing for their children.