To be beyond furious that DD's Dad can hide so well from CSA?

[TickleMyTitsTillFriday]

They can't find him apparently. Even though he had another child and they will therefore be receiving child benefit. They can't look as it's in his GF's name and they're not allowed due to data protection. Nothing shows up on tax system for him or experien and they have no other way of finding him. I'm so FUCKING ANGRY!

It really is completely bizarre that the government would rather increase the benefits bill to support the children of single parents than set up an effective system that would require absent parents to support their children. I've no idea whether the CSA are right about the Data Protection Act, but surely it wouldnt be hard to give them similar powers to police?

Oh yes I have my beautiful dd. It just is so sad that he has given up on a relationship with her in order to avoid paying maintenance. I don't have anything to do with his family, nor does he. He ?eally h's vanished. The 192.com shows his old address sadly.

It's really odd how ineffectual their tracing system is. I had his NI number, address, date of birth and bank account details. They couldn't find him after three years and I dropped the case.
I tried again six years later and they found him primarily as he was on some sort of benefit only for them to lose him again after four months.
How can a government organisation not be able to find someone with all that? Regardless of whether they can force him to pay ( which they can't do either)

No its amazing how little they can do isn't it? I spoke to them on Saturday and just kept telling them how ridiculous it is that I am soon to be expected to pay for this shit?!

Tickle -Do you think he's not down as the father of his GF's baby? Otherwise they should be able to confirm him at that address. My CSA office said any information would be useful -I could have given them any old address
Mind you if they can't trace him with his national insurance number I wouldn't hold out much hope.

It is absolutely outrageous that people can hide from the CSA and not bother to pay for the children they create, but that said, I don't think it would be fair to trace him through his girlfriend, and I do think fathers should be able to opt out of parenthood in the same way that women can in the early stages of pregnancy

How many threads do you need to put this crap on before you actually work out that the opting out you keep banging on about that is done by women results in no live child being born.

You almost constantly advocate a man walking away from a live child (with rights all of their very own) because women have the ability to abort.

Oh no he definitely is down as her father. They said they can't find him through child benefit because it will be in her name. Madness.

Wpw these feckless men are more common than you'd think.

Mine claimed Incapacity Benefit, apparently, which meant he was exempt from even paying that £5 a week unemployed men are meant to pay.

Never gave or sent a penny (oldest now 14). We raise two kids on minimum wage in a council house. He goes abroad for weeks on end whenever he feels like it - has a London flat and inherited money several times over. When he was harassing me, a police officer who saw his bank statements told me he had over £100,000 sitting in the bank (and that was before he inherited a third of his mum's house, worth best part of a million).

My kids' holiday most years is two nights in a tent in a wet field. I see he spent xmas in Italy. Was in New York a few months earlier. CSA think this is acceptable and fine.

If I could sue him for what it has cost us to raise 2 little boys - and the CSA for allowing him to do it - I fecking would.

*Wow

My friend's husband when he left her deliberately got a job on the oil rigs. Most of the time he was home in England anyway but he said he lived in Scotland. They couldn't touch him.

I think we should be able to track these men down and even 20 years ago take them for every penny owed.

The debt never goes away so I'm never closing it down. By the time dd is 19 he will owe around 20k. I've told dd it's all hers and we will do everything we can to get it.
Tomorrow I will call the CSA and ask if they will be prosecuting him for not providing details as they can do this. I will also ask them why they aren't contacting the DVLA to get his driving licence taken away and at what point does prison come into it.
I'd love it if he got locked up for it. And I'm fucked if I'm going to let the CSA sit back and do nothing.

I bet if these prats were tax dodging/dole fiddling, the system would soon mysteriously be able to find them. But it's only kids losing out so the system doesn't give a flying feck. He didn't even have to pay compensation for harassing me for years and went to the press (a broadsheet) who published a whiny article, identifying him therefore my kids, whinging about the supposed 'secrecy' in the family courts. Pratty 12 year old reporter didn't even ask him if he was paying to support these kids he was allegedly so desperate to see...

In the Family Courts, residency/access is totally unrelated to whether these dicks pay or not but I think it should be. Any fucker who won't pay for a child he fathered, and expects a woman/her new partner/the state to totally carry the expense, should automatically lose all rights to see the child. How can you claim to 'love' a child you don't pay a penny for?

CSA apparently couldn't find DS' Dad despite me giving them his address, having just been through court over access after 3 years they eventually found him, he paid twice and they apparently can't find him again, despite the fact he still lives in the same house (I knocked on the door to check)

Give up, expect nothing from him and you won't be disappointed. It took three years for the csa to get a penny from my ex, despite me telling them where he lived and worked and hiring a private detective to prove where he lived! They are beyond useless, a complete joke.

My ex just refuses point blank to pay, it makes me Us single parents are just expected to foot the bill for everything while they don't pay a measly penny. It's just not fair.

Joffrey if you are on the original CSA 1993 scheme you can apply for a departure on the grounds that your ex has a lifestyle that is inconsistent with his declared income. You will have to provide as much evidence as you can such as value of house and cars ,membership of things like golf clubs and how much they cost (all this info is probably available online ) and how many holidays he takes .

It really is completely bizarre that the government would rather increase the benefits bill to support the children of single parents than set up an effective system that would require absent parents to support their children.

There is no 'benefit in lieu of maintenance' benefit. Where did you get that idea? Nor is the non-payment of child maintenance something which is limited to single parents. Plenty of non-single parents who should be in receipt of child maintenance don't receive it either.

The most disturbing thing about this thread is that many hours later, there are very few replies and that the replies that there are come from people in the same situation as the OP (for the most part). Yet there will have been hundreds of views of this thread by people who know their brother/cousin/new partner/work colleague is someone who doesn't support their children. Those same people will have tutted at this thread and pretended to themselves that it's not the same as their brother/cousin/new partner/friend because in their case, the ex earns more/won't work/only works part-time/took him for every penny during the divorce/won't let him see the children.....Until we, as a society, stop blaming women (mainly women) for having relationships with men who wont' support their children (because of course, we should have known that the kind, caring, decent men we married would one day up and leave and decide their children don't matter to them) and start openly saying 'this is unacceptable' and refusing to have anything to do with these people (in the way we would a parent who abuses or neglects their children), this situation will continue. It is abuse and it is neglect. Stop turning a blind eye.

I completely agree fedup
I'm not actually a single parent anymore and my dd is nearly at College now but he had hardly ever paid and had now actually given up on her so he can hide.
I just think that if they can find him one way or the other they should, whether it's via his gf claiming cb for their baby or not. It's insane that she can claim it in her name so he can't be found.
And I am constantly amazed that there isn't more uproar about the lack of action the csa take.

I'm fairly sure my twat of a brother doesn't meet his responsibilities re: his children. Well, two of the three, he is still with mum number 3, for the present. However, I don't possess the facts, and I don't know who I could contact to have him be made to. It's not always onlookers making excuses in their case fedup, although I have no doubt it happens a lot. In fact, and I feel a bit shitty for even thinking it, brother's current partner actually works for the CSA. If he isn't coughing up fir the first two, and he has certainly failed to do so emotionally, I fear she knows exactly that, and exactly how to help him keep it that way. He disgusts me, and I will go NC as soon as my father isn't going to be hurt by me doing so (when he dies, basically).

FWIW, I'm essentially NC already. I just haven't spoken my mind, as it will pull my unwell father into a situation he already finds heartbreaking.

But surely some (not all) of the single mothers chasing exs for payment need to take responsibility for having a child with a waster. Once a child has been born the men should definitely support the child financially and emotionally but the woman has a choice to who father's her children. Those that were not married, if the man won't commit to you why would you think he would commit to your child. Those whose partners were always unemployed and or feckless, these men could not support you let alone a child, so why have children with them. I cannot be a surprise when these men shirk their responsibilities.

Eh,

Because you don't know they are like that until they leave you, abandon their child and then jack in their job?

People can pretend to be whatever they want to be for long enough for someone to trust them and have a baby.

What a ridiculous thing to post.

It's appalling that so many fathers behave like this, but TBH, I am glad the GF's data is safe, it would seem inherently wrong to me if you were able to use her information against him.

If the tax authorities have no record of him, is there any point finding him? If he's not paying tax, presumably he has no declared income from which to pay child support.

The CSA should be privatised (IMO the credit card companies would be excellent at chasing absent parents who don't pay). The credit ratings of absent parents who don't pay or pay very little should be adjusted accordingly.

Non payers should be arrested for neglect.