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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at this lie?

78 replies

LittleMissRayofHope · 07/02/2015 20:43

Family gathering today for a birthday. I have 2.5 dd and 5month DS. Told DH about it ages ago and specifically asked him to come (he doesn't really enjoy these things) to help me a bit considering I'll have the two to look after this time.

Late last night he suddenly felt very very ill. Got the sick bowl out and all morning was mopping implying - but not actually saying outright - how unwell he is.
Eventually told me he wasn't coming as 'I don't want to infect anyone or vomit while I'm there'

All day he has done nothing, but managed steak and chips for lunch and has just popped out for a take away.
I know it was a lie. An excuse.
I'm pissed off as I only asked him to come for some help and support.
I'm annoyed that he decided to lie to me like a fucking child trying to get out of going to school.
I mean WTAF.... He's 40 this year.

OP posts:
Spadequeen · 07/02/2015 20:44

Well I hope you have a wonderful day out. Tomorrow whilst he does the childcare for the day

BullshitS70 · 07/02/2015 20:46

what a idiot

TendonQueen · 07/02/2015 20:47

That's crap. Read him the riot act when you get home. And work out how you can do the equivalent, eg suddenly find you have to do something on the day he was planning to go out etc. Some will say this is immature, I say it's reinforcing the lesson.

Original poster
LittleMissRayofHope · 07/02/2015 20:47

That's just it. It never works out that way. He talks about days where I go out all day as him 'having a day off' to rest and do nothing.
I never get those days. DS is bf so can't go far for long. And where am I gonna go for a whole day? When what I want is for him to take the kids out and let me 'have a day off' but that will never happen.

Just moaning I guess but the lie has really fucked me off this time

OP posts:
BathtimeFunkster · 07/02/2015 20:51
Shock

What a complete fucker!

Faking sickness to get out of spending time with your children?

This is LTB territory for me.

TendonQueen · 07/02/2015 20:52

Seriously, does he never take them out for the day? That needs to change. Tell him if he doesn't take them out tomorrow (can you express some milk?) you'll be rethinking all the stuff you do for him.

Or, go out for the day but book the nearest Travelodge or Premier Inn cheap deal to you and just lie around in a hotel room watching TV and eating chocolate. You don't have to tell him this is what you're doing.

DeanKoontz · 07/02/2015 20:54

What a child.

This isn't just about him dipping out of life for a day. We all want to do that now and again. This is about him lying to you. I hope you are able to make it clear to him how disappointing and unacceptable his behavior is to you.

LIZS · 07/02/2015 20:54

Does he often avoid family do's, is he a rugby fan ? Hmm

Original poster
LittleMissRayofHope · 07/02/2015 20:55

He did suggest this morning that I stay home as he will miss the kids and 'they will cheer me up'
He simply didn't want to go and wasn't prepared to suck it up to help me out.
We have always had issues surrounding family gatherings as my family do then several times a year, were close and he isn't really interested. Will avoid it as much as he can but he's never stopped this low before.

I've been out all day. Just got home, got dd straight to bed. And now I'm left soothing DS to sleep while he pops out for takeaway.... I'm getting angrier by the second!

OP posts:
DoJo · 07/02/2015 20:58

He sounds like a prize dick - is he still claiming to be ill?!

diddl · 07/02/2015 20:59

He sounds horrible.

Was the party before he had the steak & chips?

Otherwise why didn't he go?

I couldn't respect that at all tbh.

Twatting about with a sick bowl & then eating like a pig for the day!

MrsJohnLewis · 07/02/2015 21:01

What's worse than the lie is the obvious insult to your intelligence.

Eating take away after supposedly having a vomiting bug that same morning.

Yeah right. Does he think you're thick? Or does he just not give a shit what you think?

Littleturkish · 07/02/2015 21:02

That's so shit.

Does he even make you happy when you are all together as a family? Does he do housework? Does he make your life nicer?

MummyPig24 · 07/02/2015 21:03

Have you confronted him about lying? He's clearly not ill if he can go out for a takeaway.

DoJo · 07/02/2015 21:03

That's what I was thinking diddl - not even keeping up the pretence shows a certain degree of contempt for the OP. He didn't even care enough to lie properly and deny himself a steak!

Original poster
LittleMissRayofHope · 07/02/2015 21:03

I have barely said 2 words to him since coming home.

I left at 10 to get there as an hours drive. So he hadn't eaten anything.

I know 100% if I say anything he will get all pissed off and act like I'm out of order as he'll say something like 'I had a good sleep and felt better'.

OP posts:
MrsJohnLewis · 07/02/2015 21:06

Just tell him it's really obvious he's lying - no one with a stomach bug recovers that quickly - and that you find him pathetic.

Then call him 'Sick Note' as a nick name for the rest of his life.

Original poster
LittleMissRayofHope · 07/02/2015 21:06

He helps out with housework often, he does take dd out but for 1or2 hours only. He helps with bedtime/bath time etc. we have our flaws but we usually run along nicely.

I'm just angry at being treated like an idiot.
And totally agree, if ur gonna fake it you have to commit. Not give up instantly. Angry

OP posts:
hauntedhenry · 07/02/2015 21:07

Yanbu I would be steaming.

Jackieharris · 07/02/2015 21:07

He sounds like a cocklodger

Seriously why are you with him?

AnyFucker · 07/02/2015 21:07

Why are you letting him get away with it ? Confused

DeanKoontz · 07/02/2015 21:09

Well, now he's better he'll be able to help you catch up on the housework and take the kids out for a few hours while you have a break.

Maybe you'll have caught the stomach bug and have to go to bed for the day Wink

MrsJohnLewis · 07/02/2015 21:09

Yes! Catch the bug!

Original poster
LittleMissRayofHope · 07/02/2015 21:12

Very very tempted to catch the bug!

AnyFucker - I'm definitely not letting him get away with it. I just want kids in bed before I start any dialogue. And perhaps a cup of tea.
Plus I'm so fuming right now I wont get my words out straight!

OP posts:
youarekiddingme · 07/02/2015 21:12

Love the idea of catching the bug Grin I mean, the sick bowls already there for you to use!