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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of living in a deprived neighbourhood?

385 replies

fluffymouse · 06/02/2015 19:38

We moved neighbourhoods in London to up size. Quite simply we could only afford a place big enough for us as a family in London in a dodgy neighbourhood. By any conventional marker the area is very deprived. It has a rather notorious reputation too, and has meant some people have been reluctant to visit us.

I have tried being positive about the area (it is on the up, like all areas of London that are not already up!). I am starting to think it would be nice to just move out to a nice village now.

Pros of our area:
Good community feel
Crime rate acceptable by London standards
Feels safe for the most part
Diverse neighbourhood - good ethnic foods

Cons:
Drug dealing neighbours who have been verbally abusive and threatening
Antisocial behaviour issues
Very few of the parents at dd's preschool speak English - limiting opportunities for play dates
Local schools - most do well considering, but children starting with attainment well below average, high turnover of pupils, and lots of pupils at early stage of English language acquisition
Very poor provision for children despite there being lots of children in the area - put simply no one bothers to provide as it wouldn't be taken up for the most part. No ballet, gym etc. Even the children centres offer very little.

WIBU to move us all out to a beautiful village up north where we can get a 4 bed house for the price of a bedsit here?

OP posts:
Siennasun · 07/02/2015 13:45

You didn't offend me wowfudge. I agree there are lots of nice places to live in and around Manchester. I just wasn't aware of people always going on about Didsbury and Chorlton being the best places to live.
Actually, if I was the OP I'd look at somewhere like Bramhall or Poynton rather than Didsbury or Chorlton. Very family friendly, better value for money but close enough to easily get into Manchester and still benefit from its facilities/diversity etc.

inlawsareasses · 07/02/2015 14:09

Retford is beautiful and Nottinghamshire County council pay well in comparison to other local authorities around the area, plus the fast train to London stops at retford station and takes just over an hour.

On another note, why do some posters have to focus on race. I'm not sure that they have seen areas that are truly deprived.
An area near where I live has a massive Roma/slovak community that is mega deprived. Slum landlords charging the earth for sub standard property's.
Rats are a massive problem as the Roma community don't use their bins. Massive issues with drugs and getting the children in school.
Until you have seen it and worked within the community then you can't judge and pretend it isn't there. It is there its shocking but not seen by the middle classes who have no reason to believe that it's true

Viviennemary · 07/02/2015 14:16

I'd do it. Why live in this kind of neighbourhood if you can afford not to. Can't see any reason whatsoever. I wouldn't want to live in an area where there was drug dealing going on. But if you have no choice that's different.

PopularNamesInclude · 07/02/2015 14:20

We made a somewhat different choice and are rather squished into a too-small flat but in lovely bit of London. I wouldn't move just for more space, but i would if i did not like the area. Go if you must, op. Lots of great londoners are being forced out. Tis sad.

bigkidsdidit · 07/02/2015 14:20

I loved London. Is have stayed in a heartbeat if I'd either not had children or could have afforded a 3 bed house with garden somewhere near the centre. As it is I couldn't, so I moved out to get that house near the centre of another city. Doesn't mean I think London is shit- just I couldn't have had a nice life there.

Original poster
fluffymouse · 07/02/2015 16:12

Thank you so much for all the suggestions.

Just to be clear I am not London bashing: if I had 2 million to buy a large enough house in our ideal area I would stay. This isn't even the priciest area in London, just where I grew up, and has been gentrified beyond recognition.

House prices have just gone gaga though, and all we can afford is the not so palatable areas.

The issue isn't with foreigners, rather those who don't learn English and don't integrate. PC mumsnet may slate me for saying this but I bet the majority of you would not live in area like this with the issues that it has.

Some anecdotes for those who say that there is crime in northern villages too (I'm sure there is but nothing like the same scale):

Our neighbours are drug dealers, and we regularly see domestic violence spilling out onto the street from their house across the road, as well as drug deals, police visits, and lots of antisocial behaviour. On the one occasion I challenged his antisocial behaviour he threatened and chased me: I was pregnant at the time.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 07/02/2015 17:13

I agree with you on integration. We need to be more proactive at encouraging this instead of pretending the problem isn't there, and we need much more in the way of free English classes, social events, advisory services, and so on.

BoffinMum · 07/02/2015 17:17

I still work in London and go down every day. If I compare the lifestyle and education my children get up here with what I experience (d) down there in a daily basis, I would not be that keen to move back even if really grand accommodation was on offer, places in top schools, and so on. I am not knocking it, but I think for a long time they haven't thought through what makes a city really family friendly and you've ended up with a lot of people just clearing out.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 07/02/2015 18:49

I was born just outside London, moved to London in early twenties and loved it. DH and I got together in London, and I actually can't imagine there is a better place in the world to be in your late twenties, have money, and be starting on a serious relationship. The fun we had!

We then rented a beautiful flat in maida vale, a heavenly piece of London. Then we had a child and it was also fantastic. The city seemed to adapt to whatever stage we were in.

We wanted to buy however, and that is where out life in London came to a standstill. We were renting a £775k flat, but couldn't buy what we wanted and stood little chance in the foreseeable future. So we moved out, to kent. And I have realised there is a life beyond London. But when I go back to London, I pang for it and hate not being a Londoner. There is so much to London. Those who talk about the grime, crime, unfriendliness, has probably gone on a hen do to Leicester square, or the equivalent, and that's about it.

If you're a committed londoner, to most the idea of moving up north is utterly unappealing. It feels different. Colder, bland, basically dull. I don't like to say it, because it is horrid to slate where people live and so many seem so positive about it. But I know I am not alone. Most Londoners shudder at the thought of living up north.

MarshaBrady · 07/02/2015 18:52

You do have to be in London to fully appreciate it.

All the new avenues and experiences, it is a welcoming and full city, but it helps to be in it.

Not sure what you should do op, but you say you live centrally, things do seem to be changing quickly, is your area?

Original poster
fluffymouse · 07/02/2015 20:17

It is an area that is rapidly improving marsha, but while fashionable bars may be opening quickly, the general feel of the area takes a while to change. By that I mean drug dealing neighbours will likely be here for a long time!

OP posts:
ISpeakJive · 07/02/2015 20:35

I'm a Londoner, Fluffy and I am so curious as to where you live? We're in East London and thinking of moving somewhere. We're looking in areas as close to the city as possible but want to avoid your area if possible Wink

MovedByFanciesThatAreCurled · 07/02/2015 20:45

I live in Lytham, Lancashire. Beautiful town, excellent schools, you would get a decent 3 bed for 300k and at a push 4 bed.

MovedByFanciesThatAreCurled · 07/02/2015 20:47

If you're a committed londoner, to most the idea of moving up north is utterly unappealing. It feels different. Colder, bland, basically dull. I don't like to say it, because it is horrid to slate where people live and so many seem so positive about it. But I know I am not alone. Most Londoners shudder at the thought of living up north.

This is just utterly ludicrous and quite pathetic. And irritating. And other synonyms untypable. How people can categorise the entire rest of the country like this just baffles me.

keepitsimple0 · 07/02/2015 20:55

overlooked the general scuminess to stay in London

I would like to know where these scummy somewhat affordable parts of inner london are.

you don't have to say where you live. perhaps list a few of these areas.

maybe I just have low standards, but I have seen rundown areas, but not that many scummy areas.

ExitPursuedByABear · 07/02/2015 21:04

It is truly grim up North.

LePetitMarseillais · 07/02/2015 21:04

There have been studies re schools with high levels of pupils that have English as a second language and they have shown to have a negative impact on children speaking English as a first language if they are the minority so it may be worth looking into op.

LePetitMarseillais · 07/02/2015 21:06

Oh and I'd move.

No way would I want my dc witnessing some of the things you mention.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/02/2015 21:09

It is truly grim up North

What - coal in the bath, euphonium in the cupboard, whippet in the parlour sort of thing?? We don't all wear clogs an' work down t'pit, tha' knaws ... Grin

Pipbin · 07/02/2015 21:09

Enjoying thank you for saying exactly what I have been shouted down for saying that people say, ie that some Londoners talk down the rest of the country.

ExitPursuedByABear · 07/02/2015 21:11

Ssssssh.

We don't want everyone moving up here.

Pipbin · 07/02/2015 21:12

You have coal Puzzled? We dream of coal.

hennybeans · 07/02/2015 21:12

I live just outside York and for 300k you could get a beautiful 4 bed house. My village is small, rural and quiet. They people are very friendly ( I haven't always lived here), the school is fantastic and the village is so safe I let my 7 year old walk home alone after school. There are countless opportunities for my DC do do activities.

York is a gorgeous city with a lot of culture and Leeds is nearby with a bigger city feeling. I've lived in London when I was younger and it was a great place, but for bringing up a family you need somewhere safe and with a bit of space. If I were in your shoes, I would absolutely move. It's no life when you don't feel safe where you live.

ExitPursuedByABear · 07/02/2015 21:15

I'm terribly sorry op but the North is officially full.