to be fed up of living in a deprived neighbourhood?

[fluffymouse]

We moved neighbourhoods in London to up size. Quite simply we could only afford a place big enough for us as a family in London in a dodgy neighbourhood. By any conventional marker the area is very deprived. It has a rather notorious reputation too, and has meant some people have been reluctant to visit us.

I have tried being positive about the area (it is on the up, like all areas of London that are not already up!). I am starting to think it would be nice to just move out to a nice village now.

Pros of our area:
Good community feel
Crime rate acceptable by London standards
Feels safe for the most part
Diverse neighbourhood - good ethnic foods

Cons:
Drug dealing neighbours who have been verbally abusive and threatening
Antisocial behaviour issues
Very few of the parents at dd's preschool speak English - limiting opportunities for play dates
Local schools - most do well considering, but children starting with attainment well below average, high turnover of pupils, and lots of pupils at early stage of English language acquisition
Very poor provision for children despite there being lots of children in the area - put simply no one bothers to provide as it wouldn't be taken up for the most part. No ballet, gym etc. Even the children centres offer very little.

WIBU to move us all out to a beautiful village up north where we can get a 4 bed house for the price of a bedsit here?

it seems to me the issue is more about your immediate neighbours than anything else.

I'd say stick with London as once you leave you won't be able to come back. Loads of gentrifying areas become very desirable pretty quickly and (unfortunately for the indigenous population) the neighbours change. Agitated MC parents start getting involved in the PTA etc. and before you know it you are surrounded by Joules outlets and Jo jo maman bebe...

So what you're saying is having an anonymous person giving names and addresses of known drug dealers to the authorities is futile? It is illegal to do that and lead to antisocial behaviour. How can such an environment be healthy? Why wouldn't all law abiding, peaceful citizens be banging on to the authorities/newspapers/mps on a daily basis to change things?

I gave it a go when things first started going "wrong" after we moved in. I went to my MP surgery at town hall, I called a few councillors, I tried to get friendly with the neighbors (particularly those with kids). Unfortunately, this is really unusual behavior in London and it's nigh impossible to gain traction.

Most people on the street are apathetic and believe me there is tension as a street "gentrifies" between the incumbent lower-income residents and the newcomers. After a burst of friendliness there's an embarrassing awkwardness as you realize that you're not going to be mates.

I didn't say it was futile woot I said it was not magic wand solution to on going massive social problems and issues. Hard to explain if your not in it.

I wrote scores of letter to mp, council and so on, but as said wheels, slow. reality slow and all the while your living in it.

I gave statement to the police about drug dealing in the area we used to live. The police were so "confident" about protecting my identity that they sneaked me in through the car park of the police station on a Sunday . I had more traction with the social housing provider where these people lived - I found out who was the housing officer and emailed them photographs every day for months.

Eventually we moved to somewhere naicer.

I don't really get the London thing, unless you've got oodles of cash.

London is so much friendlier than Manchester! The mothers at DC schools are very welcoming and I had been invited for a glass of wine/nights out by several mums and there is always a friendly face on a playground to chat to. It is such a relief to finally fit in!

House it's already been established that 'the North' is akin to the third world.

I can't believe that people honestly think that the only place where you can get a coffee after 5pm is London. I can think of at least three places in my not middle class market town.

You can get a coffee, just not afford to pay for it

@worksallhours gosh, that took me back in time! I camped out in the Blue Note every Sunday :) Haven't thought about it for years :wipesatear: I lived in SE and it was a proper mission to get home but that never concerned me!

@OP, why North? No need for extreme measures...I hopped out of London for Kent last year. Pretty villages, rolling hills and teashops can be found attached to stations to London Victoria in less than 40mins!

I have a kettle and a very cosy kitchen. Why would I want to go out for coffee?

Is it Costa though?

Nope. Two of the places I am thinking of are independents selling coffee made from locally roasted beans.

When I was at university my southerner friends were asking what the pictures were I had up. They were amazed that they were just around about where I came from in Leeds. There was a genuine assumption that northern towns and cities were grim, dirty, cultural deserts.

I think people saw Kes and Rita, Sue and Bob Too and though the North was all kestrels and screwing the babysitter.

Yeah, there's far more to it than just that.

"why North? No need for extreme measures"

The south-west is even worse than oop norf. You'd all hate it. No time to explain why – just popping out for a coffee

It's horrid and upsetting living next door to low life drug dealing skanks. Been there. One of the many reasons we left London. Ones liberal maybe they have had a hard life thoughts turn very daily mail when you experience the following in a regular basis:

Unsavoury types congregating outside your house so you have to run the gamut of them every time you leave
Staffordshire dogs kept "for protection" leaping fence and shitting in your garden (had pfb newborn at the time was terrified)
Screaming rows and fights in street
Gangsta rap booming through walls
Thick sweary loud conversations ruining any peace in garden
Always in as don't work

We moved to bath. Thank fuck.

Thing is, we've moved to kent as we just couldn't afford London without making the sort of massive compromise the op has on area and lifestyle, but the drop in house prices isn't that significant as so many people still work in London. If we didn't have to be tied to London for work, then I'd pick a small town/large village in good commuting distance of a northern town (one of the lovely things about the north, cities being smaller means you can live out of one but a short drive/train journey back in to the nearest city making it perfectly reasonable to go in weekly).

Complete middle of nowhere is just signing up for being your dcs taxi service until they learn to drive, or making them have a dull teenage life. Being walking distance to a bus or train station going into the nearest city gives them longer term freedom and you options if you want to change jobs later on.

Ones liberal maybe they have had a hard life thoughts turn very daily mail when you experience the following in a regular basis

Same here. Our problems actually made me ill. They were so intense and constant and un relenting and affected every aspect of my life from literally going to bed, when the noise was quiet, ie when they stopped drinking, this could be anything midnight on, to waking up with some of them at 5am. And all the other problems in between.

Yep. I was a wooly-headed liberal five years ago. Lo and behold, one of the local wooly-headed councillors who fobbed me off every time I called about anti-social behavior came to my door a few days ago. I told her I was voting Tory because I couldn't bear any more of their silly social engineering and tolerance for crime/anti-social behavior in my neighborhood anymore.

I am absolutely convinced that we should start by cracking down on dogs.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat Tue 10-Feb-15 19:46:40

I had identical situation. Well almost, had them come round canvassing and begged for help, told of problems, effects on my life, nothing. When came round again told them to literally get stuffed and go back to cloud cuckoo lets pretend its all OK when people are suffering having theirs lives ruined.
My life being ruined it seemed to me, and my families, was not important to them. I then chewed ear off conservative one, and he actually tried to do something, was not great but he did try.

Crack down on dogs and anti social behaviour esp from other people when living next door to them.

Knew we had to go when I realised I was dreading the weather turning warmer - they would hang about outside. Agree it affects your mental health. our garden was rendered unusable. They turned a pretty little garden flat the council had given them into a squalid disgusting pit.

All able bodied adults none worked (this was in the relative boom years pre 2007) lounging around taking drugs and training up their dogs to be aggressive

Knew we had to go when I realised I was dreading the weather turning warmer - they would hang about outside

YY!! I only said to DH things have been very quiet and he said - its winter. No one is outside. Yes my mental health has been severely affected because of course, whilst having them to deal with, I have had other issues and problems in life and when you cant come home and relax, then there is literally no where else to go and I got very ill.

My patience and tolerance reserves just went. Ours worked all odd hours, and some didn't, we had lodgers crammed in. so it was 24 turn around in house.