to be fed up of living in a deprived neighbourhood?

[fluffymouse]

We moved neighbourhoods in London to up size. Quite simply we could only afford a place big enough for us as a family in London in a dodgy neighbourhood. By any conventional marker the area is very deprived. It has a rather notorious reputation too, and has meant some people have been reluctant to visit us.

I have tried being positive about the area (it is on the up, like all areas of London that are not already up!). I am starting to think it would be nice to just move out to a nice village now.

Pros of our area:
Good community feel
Crime rate acceptable by London standards
Feels safe for the most part
Diverse neighbourhood - good ethnic foods

Cons:
Drug dealing neighbours who have been verbally abusive and threatening
Antisocial behaviour issues
Very few of the parents at dd's preschool speak English - limiting opportunities for play dates
Local schools - most do well considering, but children starting with attainment well below average, high turnover of pupils, and lots of pupils at early stage of English language acquisition
Very poor provision for children despite there being lots of children in the area - put simply no one bothers to provide as it wouldn't be taken up for the most part. No ballet, gym etc. Even the children centres offer very little.

WIBU to move us all out to a beautiful village up north where we can get a 4 bed house for the price of a bedsit here?

You mean you aren't taking them to the eleventy billion Michelin stared restaurants Milk?

I moved countries, now live in south America, ironically we no longer have to put up with drugs, crime and poor standards of education.
I think London is not what it's cracked up to be. I'm in the "move" category.

I hated museums because they were mostly looking at things in glass cases. Pretty much all the London museums are so incredibly child friendly and hands on

YY they are amazing now.

We did the Eyptian trail Andy recently, twas brill. I learned so much.

Dials That's the same situation I'm in. My 6 year old DS would be happy anywhere and loves it at my Dsis' house who lives very rurally, however, for the older 2, they'd be bored rigid and really feel the loss of freedom that public transport gives them.
I spent my early childhood in a very small town and loved it. I'm not saying for a moment that anyone 'needs' all the London stuff. But, if DCs have grown up with all that on their doorstep, it can be hard to hard to adjust to not having all that stuff especially when they go on FB and see what all their mates who are still here are getting up to.

There is a middle ground between London and a village.
I grew up in a tiny village and that is shit for a teenager.

I would consider renting out your house in London if that would cover the mortgage and try renting somewhere else for a couple of years. If its fab then you can sell the London house (which is unlikely to have dropped in value) and buy where you are; if its not fab, you can come back.

I love living in London but I bought my first property years ago which makes a huge difference. I do think that middle income people are being squeezed out. Even the suburbs (Zone 4-6) are becoming unaffordable.

wootoodo, I already did tell the police about the crazy brazen drug dealing going on in my street, when they were here taking our statement for our stolen car. They know all about it, they're working on it, yada yada. But we really appreciate them bringing the car thief to justice, he was slapped with a 140 GBP fine which surely shows him who's boss. Meanwhile, our car insurance has gone from 1300 to 3200 because we filed a claim on our policy for the (significant) damage, of course this guy of course doesn't have a job or assets.

The only CCTV on our street is our own, we would be totally implicated if we handed it over and it's not sufficiently HD to show anything anyway.

I've already had a meth head show up at my door after I complained to the HA that owns his flat about his insane feral fighting dog off its lead and sniffing my children, but luckily my CCTV was perfectly adequate to get him arrested. He paid the scaled fine and was sent home, and still has his feral fighting dog of its lead all the time despite the fact that the HA threatened to evict him if he didn't get rid of the dog.

I think this guy must be under the impression that he can get away with anything!

We are definitely leaving within a year. Just waiting to see about schools. We're thinking of Wiltshire.

He was arrested for showing up at my door and threatening me, not for his dog being of its lead by the way - that's perfectly legal of course. Even if it's the type of dog that makes your blood run cold and its sniffing your children.

Goodbye I just didn't have the stamina to refute wotoodoo's disbelief.

You have my sympathies, you and everyone else who puts up with the endless disruption to their peace of mind.

(My experience is is why I'll never vote LibDem "lets all just be nice to criminals" and skit my DH for doing so!

The one person I knew who took on a druggie neighbour due to provocation and endless police inaction ended up in prison himself - 1st offence and driven to it.

Northumberland is awful. AWFUL. Don't move here

The police didn't really distinguish between members of our community - we were all scummy and to be managed. From the inside you can see who is crapping on the doorstep so to speak, but they see the "rough" bloke lash out in a pub and jail him while the sneaky dealer who knows how to play the system dodges under the radar for years, ruining lives all the way.

Thanks Scone, that's what it is, is an endless disruption to the peace.

How very frustrating that they can't peel away the layers a bit to see that the rough bloke was reacting to a situation rather than instigating it. Aren't they supposed to be able to read a nuanced situation? There is nothing straightforward about anti-social behavior.

It was assault under the law. And many,many years ago.

I would also move in your situation. We are tied to the south east for DH's job - otherwise I'd have relocated back to north cheshire where I grew up. We have left London but are in a commuter town, you don't get that much more for your money outside London but short commute in anymore either.

I would vote for south manchester/north cheshire, a) because I had alovely childhood there ! and b) because moving out of such an urban area to middle of nowhere might be too much of a culture shock, having easy access to Manchester might take the edge off the downsides you'll lose leaving london (the art galleries, museums, the 'buzz' of a city - Manchester is big enough to have most things that you'll want so it doesn't feel too much of a change).

Also, the train links are fast enough that your family could be with you in a few hours, so won't be quite so isolating from them as a move to many other areas of the country.

wotoodoo Tue 10-Feb-15 09:34:52

When your in it and have dealt with the police and other people regarding these issues you realise how weak everything is. There is no magic wand to snap up drug dealers and waft them and all their issues away.

Where I live is lively to say the least.

We have had all sorts here and one night, hearing a scuffle, see police, realise someone has smashed next doors door down. Drug related. Other people, had window smashed in, middle of the night, the brick landed in the middle of the living room. They think they had got the wrong house, and meant it for next door.

Police knocking on door to question you - did you hear the ( suspected drug dealer) beating up his GF the other night, another night hearing noise and shouting and watching 10 police struggle with one violent male. It scary.
The police can do only so much and the wheels the evidence collection are tortuously slow.

Bringing a case to court is a massive process, and many fail before they even get there. What are these people doing while all this is going on?

Right next door.

Aren't they supposed to be able to read a nuanced situation?

One would really think so, but NO. A big fat NO.
I respect and love our police I really do, but I do wonder what on earth goes on in some of the training places!

Most Londoners shudder at the thought of living up north

That is quite possibly the wankiest thing I have ever read on MN

You know we have museums and galleries and theatres and arenas here right.

Goes with the running water and electricity we have. I know right, who knew?

I have not read the whole thread, just the original post: OP, I would not move. Owning your property in London is something you can never get back once you give it up and buy somewhere else (because of the difference in prices and the difference in the increase of property prices). Don't be fooled by the beauty of the north: Northumberland is beautiful but the views do not make up for the lack of services and cultural events. (In the biggest urbanisation of about 1m in the North East there is no place where you can have a coffee and a chat with friends after 5 pm: only pubs and clubs are open.) When your children are older, they can benefit from the huge array of free (!) cultural programmes on offer in London all the time. (Visit to the British Museum on any weekend for free, etc.) They can realise any dream of theirs: whatever they want to study, it will be available to them in their home town. They will grew up in a multicultural society (unlike in the North) and will be able to easily travel anywhere without first having to travel to London. OP, you are in the wonderful position of giving all this to your children.

northumberlandlass- I agree- Northumberland is the pits, Don't move there.
Don't come up to Scotland either- you wouldn't like it- full of us sweaty jocks.

Stay where you are.

You Southerners certainly have such wonderful lives-coffee and chats with friends after 5pm. Here in the North the electric is switched off and we all clamber in one big bed to keep warm under our hessian blankets until the sun comes up in the morning. We are so non cultured and unable to realise our dreams. The donkeys and carts just can't make it much further than the weekly market...

Most Northerners shudder at the thought of Londoners moving up here....

I'd stay.

Villages are boring, especially for kids. Drugs and anti-social behaviour are by no means limited to big cities; in fact IME there is often more of this to be seen in small places due to the aforementioned boringness.

So what you're saying is having an anonymous person giving names and addresses of known drug dealers to the authorities is futile? It is illegal to do that and lead to antisocial behaviour. How can such an environment be healthy? Why wouldn't all law abiding, peaceful citizens be banging on to the authorities/newspapers/mps on a daily basis to change things?

You sound worn down by immeasurable, unsolveable societal problems while when I look out of the window the only disruption I see is my puppy digging up molehills and and making a mess of the grass in the paddock.

bigbluestars

There are actually plenty of cities and towns other than London.
Some are even up North!!!
I can get coffee after 5 ( and before 9), I can shop at Selfridges and Harvey Nicholas, go to the theatre and great museums.
I also have a large house in a nice area that would cost around £300000 today and my children are at an excellent state primary. There are also people here who may not be entirely white.
Couldn't pay me enough to live in London, although I'm happy to visit - even if it largely confirms that fact!!