by feeling marginalised for working full time and having kids??

[ABroads]

I feel like I just need a rant.. I've been looking through Mumsnet all day as we are currently looking to move house and trying to decide where to move to in Hertfordshire. We are renting in St. Albans now but can't afford to buy here so we're thinking of Redbourn/Berkhamsted/Kings Langley.. Both my DH and I work full time and have sizable commutes. He gets the train into central london and I drive to Brentford. So we need to be near both trainline and motorway.

Anyway.. as I read through the posts I realise how unusual we are (at least that's how it feels).. it seems that everyone else out there with kids, one partner works part time or not at all, or they have family around.. We have one DS who is 2, so we are trying to think of an area where we can afford a house, there are decent schools and we can both manage the commute. But it is depresssing... I'm just wondering if there is ANYONE out there in the same boat.. Because it feels like I am the only one, and I get p*ssed off (and jealous) of all the mums who can afford to be at home with their DC's in this economy...

Rant over...

Also, anyone with information on the above mentioned locations for commuting parents would be much appreciated.

Both myself and my husband have worked full time, even when our girls were babies. My girls are 21 and 17, I only got three months maternity leave then and had to return to work full time. We lived hundreds of miles form family and so paid a fortune in childcare.
We met in. London where we both working, moved to Hertfordshire when i was pregnant with our oldest daughter ( we bought a flat in Watford, not exactly a dream house but got us on to the property ladder ). We then moved to Buckinghamshire when pregnant with our youngest daughter and bought a house that we were happy to live in for ten years of so.

Finally in 2007 my husband managed to get relocated to The a North East, where I am from, and we moved to Durham.
We now have a lovely 5 bedroom house, close to the coast and countryside and minutes from three cities. Best move we ever did, husband isn't from the. North East but he loves the whole area.

The wages are lower, we both took pay cuts moving to Durham but the lower cost,of housing more than makes up for that.

I think everybody's circumstances are unique to them but with similar struggles and themes running through. There will be loads of families who are in the same boat as you.

It is difficult with both parents working full time. Both DH and I work FT. The difference is the commute, I do an hour on the tube and that is more than enough. A long commute has always put me off moving out. My view is that I would rather spend the money on my mortgage than train fares.

I feel as if I work FT, but do 30 hours a week, so am really PT. Though the expectations of me at work are no different if I was FT.

As you said you would like to work part time. You do have the right to ask for flexible working. Have a think about what would work for you, if your DD is in nursery, could you do a half day one day and then have that time at home with her? A lot of mums in the city do 9 day fortnights. Have every other Monday off, if that would work with childcare. Start working one day a week from home, once you have planted the seed it is easier to develop the idea of you reducing your hours.

I have found childcare and working hours to be a moveable feast. When they were at nursery only full days off worked for me, so I worked 4 days. When at primary school, I worked the same number of hours but would get in late after school run and then be there one day a week to pick up. Now at high school I do not do the school run, but have shuffled my hours so that I am home when they get home from school two days a week. That little bit of time can make a big difference to you and the kids. This has not just been with one employer, I have changed jobs a few times over the years and have been clear about the hours I want to work.

Good luck with your move.

brandysnaper I can I can assure you- I live in Midlothian. A trip into the centre of Edinburgh by car takes less than 25 minutes. I live a two minute walk from a new station being built on the Galashiels railway route. Then I will be in Waverley within 15 minutes of home.
House prices in Edinburgh are high ( I lived there for 20 years) but prices drop dramatically within just a few miles of the city.
Perhaps broaden your horizons a little?

That sounds lovely Bigbluestars - hadn't thought of south though have regular trips to make to Fife with work which would be a bit more of a pain. Will get my map out again!

Sorry you feel like this OP.

I live in Berkhamsted/Tring area and I must admit I don't know many parents who work FT (I'm part time and I'm unusual amongst my friends as most don't work at all). However it's quite possible I know the people I know because they're not working during the week IYSWIM - I'm not likely to meet those who aren't.

My DH works in London FT and finds the commute (35/40 mins to Euston from Tring) manageable.

(FWIW I disagree totally with PP who said there's nothing to do with kids in Berkhamsted - there's loads!)

Not likely to meet those who are working FT I mean.

If you work contracts I can see it's hard . Do you work for an engineering contractor perchance ? Long hours and shit shit work life balance as full of men who think nothing of 30 day rotations

But if you really insist on living there then the price you pay is a commute

Also how much of the lovely countryside do you actually see ?

Come back to London op

Tell me your budget I'll find you a house !

We both work ft and have no babysitters. Kinda got used to it but occasionally get jealous who dont work through choice i.e. they dont need to cos husbands earning high wage. I would like to be part time or term time only