to think breastfeeding is not 'convenient'?

[SolasEile]

So I might be feeling a tad bitter because my 3 month old is in some crazy nursing strike phase and I'm frustrated from having spent months trying to make breastfeeding work only to have it all fall apart now, 3 months in... but... surely breast-feeding is a hell of a lot less convenient than formula feeding?

When I went to NCT classes the message was that breast-feeding is so easy and natural and convenient and while it might be a bit tough in the early weeks, once you and baby get used to it it's so convenient as you can just 'pop them on' the breast anywhere and no need for bottles or mixing up formula and so on.

I'm not finding that to be the case. My DS was formula fed after 8 weeks and I could feed him anywhere. I just brought sterilized bottles with me and readymade formula in cartons and managed to move country and fly longhaul with him at 3 months old.

Now with my DD, she is EBF, and feeding her is a gigantic pain in the arse. First of all, you have the issue of breastfeeding in public which I'm still not 100% confident doing. I have a nursing shawl and have tried to feed her a couple of times but I find it very hard as she is a messy feeder and we were using shields up until recently. Secondly I have a very fast letdown so she gets fussy at the breast and will currently only feed in one position (laid back) and usually feeds best when she has just woken from a nap. When she is tired she will not feed for love nor money and just screams the place down from frustration. This makes getting out of the house really really hard as I have to time her feeds so carefully.

At this stage I'm tempted to just pump and bottle feed because feeding my DS out and about with bottles was never an issue at all. I am starting to regret having made the effort to breastfeed. It just is a crap experience and so much work for no reward, as far as I can see. My DS was perfectly healthy whereas my DD has had a cold almost permanently since she was born. We do have some issues with feeding so I am seeing a lactation consultant this weekend to double check on latch and so on but to be honest I'm fed up to fuck with breastfeeding. It just seems like a big con where we are told it's best for baby and it's 'so convenient' and natural when really it is just a gigantic pain in the arse.

So AIBU? To be fed up with breastfeeding and not find it convenient or easy at all? Or am I just unlucky to have had issues with both my DS and DD?
/Awaits flaming from lactivist / NCT people.../

Good points Moomin and peacock, that's one of the problems I had with breastfeeding support as I experienced it in the UK, the all or nothing approach and the glossing over problems so as not to discourage us plebs from bf. It's very patronizing. I think it has the opposite to the intended effect because when you do have problems then you think you are a failure if something so natural and easy and convenient seems impossible for you. That message that even 1 drop of formula means your baby's gut is forever changed is so intimidating too.

I'm in the US now and the approach is a little less purist. Pediatricians and OB-GYNs run the show and they tend to be less dogmatic about bf. Also most American working mothers are back at work within 3 months or less of the birth so pumping is much more the norm. It's a little more honest about how hard bf is but I am also in a very crunchy hippy part of the US to be fair. I don't think support for BF is as good all over the US.

YANBU

I found BF an unbelievable faff with both of mine. Painful, awkward, annoying, never had enough milk, had to feed constantly. kept it up for 3 months with the first, 6 months with the second and it never got any easier. When I switched to FF my life changed. It took around 10 mins a day to wash/ sterilise and make up the bottles for the whole day and then they were ready. (it is perfectly safe to make up a day's worth of milk and keep it in the fridge. this was advice given to me by top paediatric gastroenterologist.) of course BF is easier for some people, but I cant' stand the insistence by the NCT for political reasons that it is so much more convenient for everyone, when this blatantly isn't true. They also massively overstate the health benefits which are in reality, pretty minimal, but don't get me started on that!

Its very convenient! I just have great nursing tops and try not to worry about people seeing my breasts.

I feed anywhere and everywhere. Its like turning on a tap!

"I think its convenient if you don't mind getting them out in public otherwise expect to be housebound."

See, iniquity,(sorry) I think it's language like this that's part of the problem. Talking about "getting them out" perpetuates the feeling of breasts as some how page 3 ish which makes people uncomfortable about feeding in public. And it somehow suggests that you have to be going topless- displaying your breasts to the world. Which would be really, really off putting to someone just thinking about starting............

Personally I find bf very convenient. It's right there, whenever the baby needs or wants it. I don't have to remember to take bottles, find somewhere to heat them. I don't have to go downstairs at night and it saves me about a tenner a week.

Once you have had a bit of practice then feeding discreetly in public is easy to do. And I have huge norks!

I don't wear special nursing clothes, just a vest top under whatever I'm wearing.

Convenient from about 4 months in my experience.

I read somewhere that breastfeeding starts out at (say) a 9/10 difficulty level, but usually drops down to more like 2/10 once both parties have got the hang of it, whereas ff starts at 5/10 and stays there

I think that's a very good point, and was certainly true in my experience.

I also agree that the way breastfeeding is talked about antenatally minimises potential problems too much. The information I received before DS1 was born left me with the impression that breastfeeding would be easy because it's the natural way to feed a baby, the baby would know what to do, and any problem could be resolved by changing the baby's position. I was completely unprepared for a baby that didn't know what to do with a breast and wouldn't feed.

I think that if it was acknowledged beforehand that breastfeeding can be difficult at first, and if women were better prepared for problems - especially how to recognise if there are problems, and told how to / where to seek help - then more women would carry on breastfeeding. I think that allowing women to think that breastfeeding will be easy and convenient from day one is just likely to mean that if women have problems - even fairly common or minor ones that can be resolved - that they're going to be discouraged from continuing with breastfeeding much more easily.

I agree with Hakluyt that the language used can be off-putting.

I have big norks, yet found bf really convenient. I never exposed anything in public while bfing, and went out and about every day. It worked for me.

It's also ignoring the fact that inconvenience isn't neccesarily just related to breastfeeding outside the home. I found it pretty inconvenient indoors as well.

I could only BF for 10 weeks before I had to stop cos my baby has a food intolerance & had to go on Neocate formula.

I was upset to be told to stop BUT I cannot believe how FF has improved my life. We have the TT Perfect Prep and making a bottle takes literally 2 mins. Then the feed itself is so calm and lovely!

Even though there are no pre-made bottles of Neocate we still find it incredibly easy to bring a bottle out as our nappy bag has a brilliant cool compartment. When visiting relatives for the day we bring sterilised bottles and the tin and just boil a kettle in their house.

The baby switched from feeding every 90 mins to feeding every 3 hrs overnight and DH started doing about 40% of the feeds. I had a family emergency when away from the baby yesterday and I could stay overnight knowing that DH could feed the baby indefinately if needs be.

I'm glad I BF and would do it again but it was one of the most stressful and restrictive things I've ever done. Forceful letdown, oversupply, choking, messy feeding......I managed to feed in public but had to stuff a muslin in my bra every single time or I'd be drenched. It was always stressful. I was constantly trying to solve some BFing problem or other.

Then the pressure to express or you'd never be able to leave the house without the baby. And maybe I'm a bad person but I found it utterly claustrophobic having the baby attached to me 24/7.

Whereas FF was so simple! So easy! And most importantly, not all MY responsibility!

I found ff much easier than bf. Rinsing bottles and putting them in a microwave steriliser takes two minutes, as does putting the bottles back together. Big tin for in the house (slightly more faff), ready made cartons when out. I didn't have to think about what I was wearing or worry if I was going out for a few hours without them. Dh could take turns too which was a bonus.

Fluffy mouse it's not very dangerous to pre mix formula bottles. Before the new guidelines there really was not thousands or even hundreds of sick babies.

Some people may not like this comment overly but I think I'll say it anyway ....

People are kind of assuming that FFing and BFing are equal health-wise when evidence is that that's not really the case.

Want to say that health is very convenient and much easier as well as obviously all round better and preferable for all to any ill-health.

Just take ear infections for example. I'm pretty sure these are more common in a FF baby. I remember how horrible it was when my dd couldn't get to sleep because of a nasty ear infection on several occasions.

She was BF but may have had even more without the protective effect BFing offers. Similarly various other illnesses such as stomach upsets are given a good degree of protection against through BFing

Given all that I would still FF a baby of mine (or indeed other's babies as I have often done) but it is a balancing act where all factors should be given some consideration

Should have said would still FF a baby of mine if on balance that seemed best (we were fortunate and BFing suited us all fairly well - DC in particular took to it like ducklings to water )

To the poster talking about ear infections.

What are you basing your 'theory' on as it sounds remarkably flimsy.

Just for your statistical info my ds (27 months) was ff from 6 weeks and has never had an ear infection.

YANBU, it is definitely more convenient, easier and plus FF babies are generally better sleepers and more settled. My DS has multiple allergies and had he been FF we would have known straight away and would have saved as a whole year of crying, pain and extreme sleep deprivation (for us). It was a very very traumatic experience

Feeding a, for example, 6 month old baby really is so much easier than a really little one. Funny I have never seen if as "getting them out in public" Probably due to the fact that I expose enough to feed from and then a head quickly covers the rest!
I do think overall ff is probably easier on the mother, but as I could bf I felt the inconvenience was worth it for the health benefits (speaking as a ff baby myself with many allergies).

It isn't flimsy Mamma - many studies have been done looking at health of babies and factors influencing this.
Whereas your data about your ds is exactly what they call "anecdotal"
So my dd was BF and did have some occasional ear infections, but a scientific study would look at more than just yours and my DC - that's pretty much the whole point about statistics

But truly I'm glad your ds is doing well, of course many babies will be fine with FF.
Though this is less the case in developing countries where water quality and sanitation can be poor.
We are fortunate in the choices we have here

Each to their own but I found it massively convenient. Only having to worry about nappies and never bottles. No getting up in the night. No sterilising, no buying formula. So easy.

It depends how you define convenience of course. I was forced into formula feeding due to terrible feeding issues leading to my son losing weight and me almost losing my mind. I feel like a shit mother and I know my son would have a healthier start if ebf. I'm still breastfeeding several times a day and at night but I don't think he's getting much from me and my sad useless boobs.

However there is no doubt that ff is easier in lots of ways certainly if you use ready mixed and have a husband who'll wash bottles. But for me it doesn't outweigh the grief of not being able to feed my child optimally.

Sorry don't really know what my point is here.

Hey splendide don't feel bad, and I'm truly sorry if anything I said made you feel worse
You are making the best choice for you and your baby. That's all any of us can do.
Because we're all different that will mean diff things for diff people.
I was only mentioning the health aspect because it seemed to be being over-looked on this thread in favour of convenience only. And I just think it is a factor to consider generally.
But not as important as you beginning to feel OK with your (necessary) choice. Please don't feel bad. Enjoy your lovely DS as much as you can

It's different for everyone. My DC were both EBF up to 8 months but I really struggled with it and looking back I wish I'd given it up sooner. I was always too nervous to breastfeed in public as my nips turned into high powered milk hoses if my DC pulled away mid feed. Milk with your coffee sir?!?

Not convenient for me today with DD2 (5 months). We went to a baby shower and she was incredibly unhappy. Too loud and too many people for her and she wouldn't latch. I spent 90% of the afternoon in a bedroom trying to get her to feed or sleep. Sling didn't help.

If she was ff, I wouldn't have taken her but left her with DH.